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Resuming life

By Bolletje · Nov 12, 2019 · ·
  1. I have somewhat of a milestone to celebrate. I've been mentally stable and happy for over two months now, and it's been a while since that happened. I've been feeling like myself again and I haven't been myself for a long time. I enjoy life. I am hungry for new things. I enjoy music again. Hell, I dance and sing to music in my house. And secretly in my office, when no one is there yet, but that's beside the point ;)

    I have met my new psychiatrist, who will focus on keeping me stable and happy, and although I was very anxious about the meeting I immediately clicked with the guy. He quickly sensed that I already know a lot about my various mental issues (recap: bipolar and anxiety on top of my Aspergers) and decided that it wouldn't be necessary for me to join a psycho-education group. Since I've already got a pretty good support group (thanks guys!) and I've had my fill of group therapy this year (6 months in total) I'm also not required to join a bipolar support group. It's just going to be me, my psychiatrist and a yet-to-be-introduced case worker, focusing on keeping me stable and early detection of me veering off towards either depression or mania. I'm feeling optimistic about life. I've also opened up to my family about my bipolar disorder and they were cool about it. I was expecting drama, but that didn't happen.

    I've been back to work for almost two months now, and it's going well. I'm back to my normal efficiency, which means I am working too fast and I regularly run out of work to do in the hours I'm supposed to work. So I'm slowly cranking up the workload under the watchful eye of my new manager. And so far it feels like a good thing, because even though my work isn't the most adventurous, I get compliments from my patients for the way I conduct my consults, and I'm not feeling stress over the increase in workload. Which isn't surprising, I always do better when there's some pressure on me.

    Things are also going well socially. I am spontaneous again and feel little trouble talking to people. Boyfriend and me are getting along swimmingly and we're having the best of times fantasizing about what our wedding will be like. We're not engaged, but we've agreed that we will be getting married at some point, so why not have fun talking about it in advance?
    I also have my father's 65th birthday coming up with around 50 guests expected. We're throwing him a huge surprise party and I find myself actually looking forward to it. I've prepared a quiz for the guests, and a speech for my dad, and I have zero anxiety about the day. I probably will be a little anxious once the party is about to start, but I figure it's nothing a few glasses of wine won't solve.

    On another positive note, I've decided I need to pay more attention to my creative side. So I bought a Kalimba, which is sort of a finger harp played with your thumbs. It has a very soothing sound, and just sort of messing around with it makes me feel relaxed. And trying to figure out which songs I want to cover is a fun thought experiment.
    More productively, I've decided to finally enroll in a writing class. Classes don't start until February, but I'm already pretty psyched up for it. I'll be taking an extensive course from the comfort of my own home with bimonthly classroom sessions. Time investment is about ten hours a week, but I don't mind. I usually spend my weekends lounging on the couch watching TV or playing video games, and actively working on honing one of my skills seems like the kind of thing that would make me happy. I already have experience writing columns, articles and short stories. Getting my skills to the next level would be great. After completing my course there's even an optional seminar with speeddating with publicists and learning how to pitch your story to a publishing company or self-publishing books.

    It's not all sunshine and kittens, as I've been experiencing a lot of pain all over my body. I've been referred to a rheumatologist, but there's an average wait time of six weeks, so I have to be patient for now. But I'm not going to stay home sick, as I just got back to working and I enjoy feeling useful and competent. So I keep going to work, doing my daily chores, and rest on the couch afterwards. Oh, the Netflix documentaries I've seen...

    So, TLDR: bit of physical trouble, but overall things are looking up for me :).

    About Author

    Bolletje
    Dr Bolletje MD (not my real name), 33-year old (my real age though). I'm a potato chip enthusiast, amateur writer, avid dancer, cat lady, music fanatic and plant kween.
    Michael Balog likes this.

Comments

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  1. LucyPurrs
    Really good to hear Bolletje! Wonderful progress.

    BTW Celebrex (Celecoxib) works wonderfully for my arthritis pains- don't know if it might help you too. One tablet sometimes lasts me for 3 days. I only use it occasionally ( not even once a week) but it can be really helpful.

    Enjoy your new found stability and the creative writing class.