I always have a powerful vision guiding me that whatever I do should lead me to a sense of completion, in whatever things I do. I value completion because my purpose is to empower the society as a whole. The society should give hope to all, through continuous tangible and measurable progress. I refuse to be bogged down by false promises.
Eventually, I think my motivation for involving in the local special needs community I belong to, because I desire something more worthwhile than things we can neither feel nor perceive. I think I want a lot of tangible things. I really want to work within clearly defined social parameters that had worked well for many others, especially NTs. Like them, I want to get a certain set of grades to get into university, I want to do a certain set of things to add on my personal worth in socially desirable things, I want to be in a socially respected jobs, and I want to lead a life like what others in my society do, like having families, children, and even grandchildren, who leads autonomous lives of their own.
In this case, I really want to do a post-graduate degree in the liberal arts, so that I can come back to Singapore and advise the government on policies and work to involve all sectors of society. I always have a special interest in the disadvantaged in general, because a hand out in society to those in need is always more attractive to me than hand-me-downs, as I had experienced the benefits of past and current governmental policies that favor especially people with autism. I really want to make a difference making Singapore work, as what she is today. Unfortunately, because of a line in civil service employment guidelines that prohibit people with neurobiological conditions such as autism serving in the civil service (that even a government minister had publicly, in front of a group of students, failed to see), I do not think I can do so with dignity and integrity, even at the basic ground level.
As a result, I do a business degree, in which I still dislike but have to accept reluctantly. I do find myself better engaged with politics, philosophy, economics, sociology and even history. I even enjoy examining geographical features of different places, and the spatial connections between places. However, without a certainty in civil service jobs, the main interests I have, I cannot persuade myself to think what I do as something I can make out of a decent living in. All because of my conditions - sigh.
The world just seems to get more difficult to live, particularly for people with special needs, who already cannot adapt to the current life we live in, and will most likely face even more dire circumstances dealing with loans, surrounding perceived mass affluence in an increasingly stratified society with large rich-poor gaps, and loss of hopes and visions. Indeed, opportunities just seem to narrow. Even if one gets a PhD, for example, reduction of research funding in developed countries currently mean corresponding reduction of opportunities of PhD graduates to move on as post-doctorate candidates and professors.
My college professor did mention, ?not everyone needs to get a Master?s?. Put it in the logical extremes, not everyone needs a degree, too, though a core competency base of compulsory education is definitely needed amongst most people in the population, excepting students of exceptional circumstances. I do think many people on the Autism Spectrum belong to those students with exceptional circumstances.
So, what is success for us, people with ASDs?
I should say success means fulfilling a purpose, through attaining a certain vision, while recognizing current limits that one has to work through.
If what I think and what I do not fit, then what I do, in my view, will always remain as failures.
I do consider my work in the local autism community, my family life and my social life as failures. I do not have the contacts who are equally as committed as I do to work together, and overcome the autism label, and empower the autism community, and eventually, the disadvantaged who cannot help themselves in society, to work towards a better outcome in life, and much as my conditions improved, they are still insufficient currently. My family does not ?see? the good work I do, and even suggested I?d been wasting time from my supposed main work (which I half-agree, don?t they ?see? the impact of the work I do? They just want some more hands in their businesses, which I understand but I feel I cannot do with my full heart, because I don?t feel totally able doing it) In addition, I do not know enough people who share the odd interests I share, and if they are, they?re all PhDs in debt, busy teaching stuff that they don?t want to talk about outside classes.
Perhaps the only successes I had, ensuring gradual hope in a larger community and setting, would be, indeed could be what I may eventually work more on. They are mainly the sports talk and the global autism forum communities I am on.
Regarding sports, I find that Singaporean sportspeople do not bring pride to the country, for players do not seem to play seriously enough on the field in all settings, except in swimming, golf, basketball, cricket and rugby, and I watch local rugby leagues from time to time. Partially because of my exposure to basketball, cricket and rugby, I also like baseball and American football, which look pretty similar to the aforementioned sports. I also do like reading NBA, MLB and NFL news. I rather enjoy spectator sports. I also like hiking and running on my free time. I find sports an even better interest to me than engaging in, what, politics that bring no closure. At least, when the sky turns dark, the game is completed or the game clock runs, the games end. And there will always be a winner that feels happy, even if they?re not the team I root for. I even like arts stuff related to sports, too!
Also, because of my incomplete dreams in the local community, which are still in a flux, I found much more supportive and vibrant communities in global autism forums. People around the world are, after all, more similar than different. This is the motivation I visit Aspies Central. I feel my day has a good ending and I feel I had helped the whole world, with Aspies Central.
Perhaps all what I should do in life is to engage whole communities at a global level, to bring new ideas, while doing a run when I am free. Haha.
Eventually, I think my motivation for involving in the local special needs community I belong to, because I desire something more worthwhile than things we can neither feel nor perceive. I think I want a lot of tangible things. I really want to work within clearly defined social parameters that had worked well for many others, especially NTs. Like them, I want to get a certain set of grades to get into university, I want to do a certain set of things to add on my personal worth in socially desirable things, I want to be in a socially respected jobs, and I want to lead a life like what others in my society do, like having families, children, and even grandchildren, who leads autonomous lives of their own.
In this case, I really want to do a post-graduate degree in the liberal arts, so that I can come back to Singapore and advise the government on policies and work to involve all sectors of society. I always have a special interest in the disadvantaged in general, because a hand out in society to those in need is always more attractive to me than hand-me-downs, as I had experienced the benefits of past and current governmental policies that favor especially people with autism. I really want to make a difference making Singapore work, as what she is today. Unfortunately, because of a line in civil service employment guidelines that prohibit people with neurobiological conditions such as autism serving in the civil service (that even a government minister had publicly, in front of a group of students, failed to see), I do not think I can do so with dignity and integrity, even at the basic ground level.
As a result, I do a business degree, in which I still dislike but have to accept reluctantly. I do find myself better engaged with politics, philosophy, economics, sociology and even history. I even enjoy examining geographical features of different places, and the spatial connections between places. However, without a certainty in civil service jobs, the main interests I have, I cannot persuade myself to think what I do as something I can make out of a decent living in. All because of my conditions - sigh.
The world just seems to get more difficult to live, particularly for people with special needs, who already cannot adapt to the current life we live in, and will most likely face even more dire circumstances dealing with loans, surrounding perceived mass affluence in an increasingly stratified society with large rich-poor gaps, and loss of hopes and visions. Indeed, opportunities just seem to narrow. Even if one gets a PhD, for example, reduction of research funding in developed countries currently mean corresponding reduction of opportunities of PhD graduates to move on as post-doctorate candidates and professors.
My college professor did mention, ?not everyone needs to get a Master?s?. Put it in the logical extremes, not everyone needs a degree, too, though a core competency base of compulsory education is definitely needed amongst most people in the population, excepting students of exceptional circumstances. I do think many people on the Autism Spectrum belong to those students with exceptional circumstances.
So, what is success for us, people with ASDs?
I should say success means fulfilling a purpose, through attaining a certain vision, while recognizing current limits that one has to work through.
If what I think and what I do not fit, then what I do, in my view, will always remain as failures.
I do consider my work in the local autism community, my family life and my social life as failures. I do not have the contacts who are equally as committed as I do to work together, and overcome the autism label, and empower the autism community, and eventually, the disadvantaged who cannot help themselves in society, to work towards a better outcome in life, and much as my conditions improved, they are still insufficient currently. My family does not ?see? the good work I do, and even suggested I?d been wasting time from my supposed main work (which I half-agree, don?t they ?see? the impact of the work I do? They just want some more hands in their businesses, which I understand but I feel I cannot do with my full heart, because I don?t feel totally able doing it) In addition, I do not know enough people who share the odd interests I share, and if they are, they?re all PhDs in debt, busy teaching stuff that they don?t want to talk about outside classes.
Perhaps the only successes I had, ensuring gradual hope in a larger community and setting, would be, indeed could be what I may eventually work more on. They are mainly the sports talk and the global autism forum communities I am on.
Regarding sports, I find that Singaporean sportspeople do not bring pride to the country, for players do not seem to play seriously enough on the field in all settings, except in swimming, golf, basketball, cricket and rugby, and I watch local rugby leagues from time to time. Partially because of my exposure to basketball, cricket and rugby, I also like baseball and American football, which look pretty similar to the aforementioned sports. I also do like reading NBA, MLB and NFL news. I rather enjoy spectator sports. I also like hiking and running on my free time. I find sports an even better interest to me than engaging in, what, politics that bring no closure. At least, when the sky turns dark, the game is completed or the game clock runs, the games end. And there will always be a winner that feels happy, even if they?re not the team I root for. I even like arts stuff related to sports, too!
Also, because of my incomplete dreams in the local community, which are still in a flux, I found much more supportive and vibrant communities in global autism forums. People around the world are, after all, more similar than different. This is the motivation I visit Aspies Central. I feel my day has a good ending and I feel I had helped the whole world, with Aspies Central.
Perhaps all what I should do in life is to engage whole communities at a global level, to bring new ideas, while doing a run when I am free. Haha.
