I always remind myself, 'ten times measure, one time cut (Judge Judy). Every major decision is an important one. In particular, in my case, there is only one direction life goes - forward. Time never goes backward, so we had much experience with time, that we try to learn from.
In particular, I find it important to deal with relationships. I have to be frank with you.
I will never foresee myself to have a steady romantic relationship in the next decade or so. I simply cannot. Even if other people have their relationships, be they Aspies/Auties or not, and even though I have sexual impulses, I channel them to my work. This may be unhealthy, but this is the best I can do.
At a personal level, I am simply socially inept to deal living with another person. Living with another person on an equal basis is hard, as I feel uncomfortable doing so. I tried to lead, but as my parents would mock me, 'no one had, or ever will, attend your birthday party at any given year, so you're no leader even though you badly want to be one'.
But for more practical reasons, I can't have a significant other.
I can't afford it, for now.
With marriage, you need a house, a car and a family. You want the best out of the house, the car and the family, for there are vicious comparisons that you can't get out of, no matter how hard you try. Also, it is not up to my personality to accept mediocrity, I cannot accept a worse outcome of, say, my children having less opportunities to move up the social ladder than I do. With high housing prices, more congested roads and more competition for quality schools and jobs, I do not know whether I have the resources to support my children in my current society.
It may be hurting to hear, 'I can't have a relationship because it takes money to support me, I don't have a job and haven't been employed for a long time, and my significant other doesn't has a good-paying job either'. But this is the obstacle for relationships - and for that matter, almost all other decisions I make in life, such as career decisions, educational options to support them. I do not feel ready yet.
It is often easier to say, 'move to another country with more and better-paying jobs' than to do it - we have all our reasons to live in our homeland, our home countries, and sometimes our hometowns. There are cultural, emotional and practical reasons to stay at home. In Asia, in general, families are expected to support themselves with the lack of individual safety net support. Even in many Western societies, to my observations, the safety net has been eroding, as they struggle with most of their people's effect on globalization. So they have to suck it out, till there are better days. Moving to, say, China, Indonesia, Thailand or the Philippines just won't cut it.
This is also the unspoken issue in developed and rapidly developing countries.
I hope, one day, there could be enough social reforms, to create a more egalitarian and accommodating society. We actually support and nurture our people, not compete against each other. In this way, we will be more able to have children, and perhaps have more confidence to settle and form families.
In particular, I find it important to deal with relationships. I have to be frank with you.
I will never foresee myself to have a steady romantic relationship in the next decade or so. I simply cannot. Even if other people have their relationships, be they Aspies/Auties or not, and even though I have sexual impulses, I channel them to my work. This may be unhealthy, but this is the best I can do.
At a personal level, I am simply socially inept to deal living with another person. Living with another person on an equal basis is hard, as I feel uncomfortable doing so. I tried to lead, but as my parents would mock me, 'no one had, or ever will, attend your birthday party at any given year, so you're no leader even though you badly want to be one'.
But for more practical reasons, I can't have a significant other.
I can't afford it, for now.
With marriage, you need a house, a car and a family. You want the best out of the house, the car and the family, for there are vicious comparisons that you can't get out of, no matter how hard you try. Also, it is not up to my personality to accept mediocrity, I cannot accept a worse outcome of, say, my children having less opportunities to move up the social ladder than I do. With high housing prices, more congested roads and more competition for quality schools and jobs, I do not know whether I have the resources to support my children in my current society.
It may be hurting to hear, 'I can't have a relationship because it takes money to support me, I don't have a job and haven't been employed for a long time, and my significant other doesn't has a good-paying job either'. But this is the obstacle for relationships - and for that matter, almost all other decisions I make in life, such as career decisions, educational options to support them. I do not feel ready yet.
It is often easier to say, 'move to another country with more and better-paying jobs' than to do it - we have all our reasons to live in our homeland, our home countries, and sometimes our hometowns. There are cultural, emotional and practical reasons to stay at home. In Asia, in general, families are expected to support themselves with the lack of individual safety net support. Even in many Western societies, to my observations, the safety net has been eroding, as they struggle with most of their people's effect on globalization. So they have to suck it out, till there are better days. Moving to, say, China, Indonesia, Thailand or the Philippines just won't cut it.
This is also the unspoken issue in developed and rapidly developing countries.
I hope, one day, there could be enough social reforms, to create a more egalitarian and accommodating society. We actually support and nurture our people, not compete against each other. In this way, we will be more able to have children, and perhaps have more confidence to settle and form families.
