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Glass Half Empty & Half Full --> Schizophrenia

Very first point: I extend apologies to anyone offended by a light usage of the term schizophrenia. I am not referring to literal schizophrenia, but rather the idea of seeing/believing diverging realities.

So....I've often heard about people either viewing the glass as half empty or half full. And how those who are optimistic view it as half full, whereas pessimists view it as half empty. Well, I guess I am a realist - because I just view it as what it is: both half empty and half full. But that in itself isn't perhaps the most useful strategy for me right now. No matter how much I appreciate and enjoy the positive things in life, I am always feeling a constant tug below me from the negative things in life. By seeing both at the same time, I feel torn, divided, conflicted - leading to anxiety. I've experienced this in many other ways, too - with my tendency to see both sides of most issues in general.

Well...I'm wondering if my divided focus isn't holding me back. I could never simply view the glass has half empty OR half full - that would end the reality that both states exist. However, if I chose to FOCUS on the half full part, letting the half empty part exist, not ignore it, but be much less of the focus because the focus is ON the half full part - I think that could make my days go by more smoothly, less crippled by anxiety, dread, sorrow, and fear. I've heard that our minds tend to magnify what they are focused on - and magnifying the negative would in no way help me, and magnifying both leaves me feeling pulled apart, doing nothing to reduce my fears - well, it would be less than if I were magnifying just the negative, but that's not good enough when you're paralyzed by feelings and worries - whereas magnifying the positive could indeed help me stay calm and happy enough to continue on with life, addressing the negatives along the way. Focusing on and magnifying the positive could result in minimizing my attention towards/perception of the negatives. Honestly, for me, if anything shifts, it's a shift towards magnifying the negative and losing sight of the positive, before going back to viewing both equally.

I'm thinking about this in terms of my job today. I had to call out - I felt too overwhelmed by all the newness of the skill set I suddenly have to acquire and apply. But if I could focus on the positives - like a) I'm so lucky to have this job; b) it's the best (and only) job possible for me, and I NEED to work; c) I can be genuinely interested in what I do and feel it is benefiting society; d) it gets me money, which I need for my well-being.....if I could focus on those things, maybe I wouldn't get overwhelmed with the scary things. And then I could just go to work and stay calm, and perform better than I would otherwise.

It will be a brand new thing for me to choose to focus on the positive - again, not just acknowledge the positive, which I have done for many years, but to actually chose to focus on it, letting the negatives fade into the background. Maybe it will feel much better to adopt this strategy - I hope so! I hope I can keep it up. In any case, I'm tired of that constant torn feeling I have had as far back as a teen.


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