There are a few traits/practices I have which I would like to reverse, for my own benefit (especially at work, since that's when I have to deal with people the most). I feel the level of urgency would be decreasing in these list items from #1 to 5, but I think the degree of challenge/difficulty will be increasing from #1 to 5.
- Taking others too seriously. I tend to take others very seriously/genuinely, just as I take myself seriously and would like to be taken seriously - treating others as I would like to be treated. But I think some of my social pains and anxieties would be reduced if I just took other people less seriously, particularly critics, bullies, and toxic people - people who seek to annoy or hurt me. It's my own reaction to them (which they are seeking) that allows my sabotage to happen.
- Feeling painfully self-conscious and feeling threatened/vulnerable when being met/assessed/looked at. I think I will instead focus on these events as opportunities for ME to assess the other person. After all, I am quite sure of myself and happy with myself as I am, it's only when it is being questioned by someone else that I feel worried about how they will see me - often negatively, as it has always been that way in the past, and for unfair opinions - and at best, just because their standards for me are different from mine. So being happy with myself, instead of worrying about myself, I focus on just being how I want to be and assessing the other person. It should be a 2 way street.
- Feeling painfully self-conscious of the fact that many people wonder at me, dislike me, misunderstand me - all in a split second judgement before they even get to know me. I have always been that stinky cheese that only a few like. I think instead, I need to just accept this and be at peace with it - people don't look at me and see sunshine and daisies. They see someone they think they will dislike. Even when I try to be nice, I never get totally out of that zone. So how about accepting that I am one of *those* people (to many others, not to myself) who just seem dark, mysterious, odd, etc. rather than that person that everyone immediately likes, is comfortable with, wants to be around, etc. And knowing all of this, understanding that it will take people time to get used to me.
- Thinking dark, brooding, stormy thoughts. I would like to think gentle thoughts. I think it will help me, help my health, and help other people I interact with.
- Thinking, thinking, thinking all the time. I spend so much time in my head thinking it will help me figure and sort problems out....but I think it might help me more to actually be actively doing rather than just thinking.
