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Entry 2 - 'Should I smile because we're friends? Or should I cry because that's all we'll ever be?'

So second year.

I came back, wasn’t sure what to expect at all. I moved into a house of 8, which has been definitely an experience to start with. I came back not just to get my degree, but to see her.

I had a weird growth spurt over the summer – which at 19 years old, shouldn’t really happen. I reached 6ft 5in, which now made me look a giant compared to everyone else in the area.

I changed my fashion, I styled my hair, but the one aim I had over the summer, which was to get into shape, didn’t actually happen. I had put weight on, just purely because I did nothing all summer but play video games and watch football.

I went to my lectures and got into my work – the first few weeks were great; I put myself into my own world and ignored most people around me.

I didn’t see her for the first three months – I kept myself away from her for the pure fact that I didn’t think I could deal with speaking face to face.

I got to December – and she came up to speak to me a few days before my birthday.

I had never felt so nervous in my life.

She had changed her look – she had died her hair from brunette to blonde, she was slimmer and more toned, but she didn’t look happy. She looked down, and slightly lost.

She asked about my birthday, and I told her my flat were throwing a birthday party for me and that she should come.

‘Count me in.’

I fist pumped the air after she walked away, like they do in the movies. Shame she saw it though.

That’s when the confusion all came running back…..


Entirely possible that her perception of your fist pump was delight.

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The Aspergers Guy
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