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You are actually nice!

T

thejuice

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Anyone ever had that said to them in a surprised tone? It's happened more than once to me.

Or has anyone said something to you that has made you take a step back?

Where your self perception and other's perception of you are mismatched.
 
During a difficult decade my self perception was at an all time low, I shared a detail with a colleague about having acquired a few enemies in my ex family in law, to which she exclaimed she couldn't imagine how I could be so disliked as I would never do something to hurt another on purpose.
It stayed with me, it was a jolt of reality cutting through the fog reminding me of my true self.
 
I had some roommates in college who thought I was weird because I spent days reading a huge book on art history, with headphones on. They found me more acceptable when I was willing to go to parties with them.

Another guy in our room actually carried around a noose everywhere, so I can't say it took much for me to be accepted compared to him :)
 
Roisin said:
During a difficult decade my self perception was at an all time low, I shared a detail with a colleague about having acquired a few enemies in my ex family in law, to which she exclaimed she couldn't imagine how I could be so disliked as I would never do something to hurt another on purpose.
It stayed with me, it was a jolt of reality cutting through the fog reminding me of my true self.
Click to expand...
What an odd thing to say to you
 
People from church all the time say this. Especially my friends. Not my parents who always says I am selfish and nasty.
 
My most recent therapist expressed surprise when I told him I didn't think I had any resilience or persistence. He explained that by returning to therapy and giving it another shot, despite my several poor and damaging experiences with it, I was demonstrating just those qualities. Was a thinker!
 
One of the earliest social lessons I learned was that if two people did identical things, those around them could have totally different reactions.
 
I've had quite a few times wherein people assume I need significant help, I don't work, talk to me like I'm a child, etc. And then get surprised when I adapt more intelligently than they expect.

I don't mind that I come across as intellectually disabled. It allows me to see a more gentle side of humanity than most people experience.
 
jsilver256 said:
I've had quite a few times wherein people assume I need significant help, I don't work, talk to me like I'm a child, etc. And then get surprised when I adapt more intelligently than they expect.

I don't mind that I come across as intellectually disabled. It allows me to see a more gentle side of humanity than most people experience.
Click to expand...
A few times i have made an absurdist and ironic joke with a deadpan delivery, people dont get it, laugh patronisingly and assume i actually believe what im saying and explain why i am wrong to say it, and dont believe me when i try to say i was joking. I can only assume they think i am stupid, or intellectually disabled, which was quite an eye opener.

Choose your audience wisely i guess.
 
thejuice said:
A few times i have made a deadpan, absurdist and ironic joke, people dont get it, laugh patronisingly and assume i actually believe what im saying and explain why i am wrong to say it, and dont believe me when i try to say i was joking. I can only assume they think i am stupid, or intellectually disabled, which was quite an eye opener.
Click to expand...

just stay in character and stand your ground with your original joke! drive them crazy!
 
jsilver256 said:
I've had quite a few times wherein people assume I need significant help, I don't work, talk to me like I'm a child, etc. And then get surprised when I adapt more intelligently than they expect.

I don't mind that I come across as intellectually disabled. It allows me to see a more gentle side of humanity than most people experience.
Click to expand...
Being underestimated gives you the element of surprise when you show your hand (poker reference because its my new fixation lol)
 
Nope. Odds are first contact results in people either liking me or hating my guts.

Not much room for a passive-aggressive remarks like the OP mentions.

Luckily as well no one has ever said to me, "Bless your heart! Or "Isn't that special!" :rolleyes:
 
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