Why do we get anxious?

[Loomis]

I am puzzled by two seemingly contradictory aspects of ASD. Firstly, we get anxious when we interact with NTs, I presume this is because we care what they think of us. Secondly, people on the spectrum are motivated primarily by their own satisfaction at meeting or exceeding their own standards rather than the approval of others. This contradiction is also evident in our internal conflict between learning NT culture and just being who we are.

I know that I get anxious when I perform poorly in NT interactions. I know I often do care what NTs think of me; one of my personality traits I am not enamored of is a need I sometimes feel to impress people. (I am working on this.) However, there are other times when I couldn't care less what NTs think.

This forum gives me great insight. The wealth of information from all of you is magnificent and fertile ground for aspie understanding. The glimpses into your lives and thought processes provide enlightenment on my own behavior.

The scientific literature also helps us to understand ASD. So what I described above in psychological terms has a physiological basis. The different morphology of the amygdala, the hypothalamus, the limbic system and its connections to the cerebral cortex help to explain aspie anxiety. While the precise correlations between brain physiology and aspie behavior are nowhere near being scientifically understood we do know that fear, which is what anxiety is, does originate in the aforementioned brain systems. So in simple terms one of the areas where our brain circuitry is different from NTs is the area where our brains process fear.

So. why do we feel anxiety in social situations? Do we care too much what the NTs think? Or is our anxiety a result of an amplification of fear due to brain physiology? I suppose it is both. But why the contradiction between caring what NTs think and the lack of a need for outside approval of others. I am truly puzzled by what appears to me to be a genuine contradiction. Part of the explanation may also be related to what my psychologist mentioned to me: most aspie children lack the need to share their experiences with others. It is one of the signs of ASD in children.

 

[Ylva]

Scientific literature about ASD seems to explain little. It doesn't necessarily separate the ASD behaviour (which is maybe just one pattern that results in many of the others) from other behaviour, like traumatised behaviour (which much of it sounds like to me) or reasons for choosing isolation (maybe all one's social experiences have been painful, maybe largely because of that initial 'difference', and if an NT's all social experiences had been painful, no one would have blamed that NT for not being super eager to meet new people).

 

[Tia Maria]

I see that Loomis initiated this thread in 2012, but I noticed a new comment so it caught my attention. I am not an expert However I do know that many presumably NT people also suffer from anxiety, & even panic attacks (either occasionally or during a very specific period of their life).

The last I read on the subject (a couple of years ago so maybe there is some newer information available now) but the exact physiology of panic attacks was not completely known, though it did involve known areas of the brain as Loomis explained.

I do not know if Aspies in general care or not what an NT or anyone else would think about them, & maybe it is just an individual matter. It is human nature in general - & both Aspies & NTs are human beans (yes, I wrote that jaja to at least slightly desire a positive reception from others.

But regardless, I tend to think that the anxiety is a result of an amplification of fear due to brain physiology ... not an unnatural or amplified desire for NT or outside approval.

Another example, most people rate speaking in public as one of their greatest fears. Is it just the desire to perform well & receive approval, or the amplified accumulation of fear as it is being processed in the brain (fight or flight response) that can cause a paralyzing anxiety in that situation? Yet most people can train themselves to overcome that fear & through practice ultimately master public speaking. I am not correlating that to say an Aspie can overcome anything through sheer force of will - although I do think a person should not limit themselves with the words, Never or I Can't.

I am also not dismissing an Aspie's anxiety or discomfort in socializing with NT's or groups, but know that many NT people can also not stand having to network or mingle, & also feel stress & anxiety over the prospect of having to do so. There are books written to give advice & tips for getting through such events! The difference may be that the anxiety of more Aspie's than NT's escalates into a full blown panic attack & melt down. That must be the way their brain is processing the accumulated fear.

 

[Tia Maria]

Scientific literature about ASD seems to explain little. It doesn't necessarily separate the ASD behaviour (which is maybe just one pattern that results in many of the others) from other behaviour, like traumatised behaviour (which much of it sounds like to me) or reasons for choosing isolation (maybe all one's social experiences have been painful, maybe largely because of that initial 'difference', and if an NT's all social experiences had been painful, no one would have blamed that NT for not being super eager to meet new people).

I totally agree with Ylva that if a person experiences what is or even just feels like emotional trauma, similar situations in the future can trigger more than normal levels of anxiety, & panic attacks. Once that cycle starts it can easily build upon itself & become worse & worse. So having experienced very upsetting social experiences repeatedly in the past will make future ones unbearably stressful & wrought with anxiety. That would seem to be a "normal" reaction for anyone.

 

[Progster]

I agree with the previous two posts. I agree that just about everybody experiences anxiety in some form or another, and people with ASD often have traumatic or unpleasant experiences in the past which can lead to social anxiety, a condition which is often comorbid with ASD. People with ASD are also overwhelmed more easily than those without, and we sometimes find it hard to process large amounts of information at once, or sensual stimuli, especially when it is coming from multiple sources. Things happen faster than we can process it, change can make us feel out of control and this can cause a lot of anxiety. People with ASD are more sensitive to sounds and other sensory stimuli. If, as a child, we had a bad experience at a party where a balloon suddenly burst, it was overwhelming and then we cried, then the other children made fun of us because we were scared of the balloon where they weren't and we panicked or went away and hid, or melted, then naturally being in the same setting again will cause fear or a panic reaction, so many people with ASD fear and avoid parties and such situations. But sometimes anxiety can come out of the blue and its cause is unknown and difficult to identify, I suppose because of the way we process emotions, or as said above, our brain's tendency to amplify them. Personally, I have quite a lot of social anxiety and can panic when meeting new people, and if I feel that I'm not in control of a situation or my environment I get very stressed and anxious.