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Why do people ask "Are you sure?"

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Pats, Jul 3, 2019.

  1. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    If I say something, then yes, I'm sure. But still don't believe me? What are they saying? Are they saying they think I'm too dumb to know things or that you think I'm a liar?

    Living in Georgia I was talking to my (ex) husband on the phone and told him I heard a peacock. He didn't believe me and asked if I even knew what a peacock was. Umph - yes. So he gets home with his brother in law who was from Mexico and as soon as they get out of the van, the brother in law says: I just heard a peacock.
    Same thing over the bear that was getting into our trash - would not believe it until he seen the bears for himself.

    I've been telling my son there's a rat that's hanging around my entry way. Yesterday my daughter in law finally takes note of what I'm saying and, over the phone, is telling my son he needs to get rid of the rat. I had taken a picture to be believed. My son's response, "Are you sure it's a rat?" I'm like - I know a rat, that's why the picture. There's a file cabinet with auto stuff outside my door and he's made a home under it. So my son is pulling out the drawers so he can move the cabinet (I hated that thing there anyway.) :) He's still - am I sure it's a rat and it's probably an opossum or something. The rat finally comes running out and everyone is jumping and yeeking ewwww and I'm just sitting there saying, "See!" Well, the rat no longer has a place to sleep near my entry way, but the dogs keep sniffing it out under and old tree trunk.

    And like my boss asking if I know what an absence is so I ask her "does she?"
    But why do people not just believe me. Everyone has always done that to me - "are you sure?" I've never made things up so it's not like there's a reason to doubt what I'm saying. I really think that people think I'm stupid - not in an insulting way, just not smart enough to know things. (Especially since I've gotten older). I get tired of being treated that way. aaarrghh!!!

    (Oh, by the way, I walked through the neighborhood in Ga and found the peacock. lol)
     
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  2. Monachopia

    Monachopia ...spiral out... keep going.

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    I know what you're saying! But I don't think it's meant to be insulting when people say it :) It's just human nature to question anything that is out of the ordinary. I do the same for other people, I don't think they're lying or dumb, I just want to see what they saw because I'm curious! :D
     
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  3. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Could be worse. Try relating to someone- anyone that you have had paranormal experiences. ;)

    1. Are you sure?

    2. Are you crazy?

    3. Are you just kidding?

    Any time one deviates from a perceived norm, you may be violating any number of customs observed by a social majority. :oops:

    Of course if you were born Neurodiverse, perhaps expect to be questioned a lot- on the same premise. :eek:
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2019
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  4. BraidedPony

    BraidedPony Enjoying life and glad to be alive! V.I.P Member

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    I get the same thing said to me. Hubs would say, "You think so?" in a tone like im stupid.
    The question, Are you sure?, always throws me because im never 100% sure of anything. There is always a possibility I'm mistaken.
    But the worst is when i get those responses to me stating what I'm feeling.
     
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  5. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

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    I regularly get into fights with my boyfriend because he’ll ask me what I want, I’ll answer, and he asks whether I’m sure.
    I just said what I wanted, if I’d wanted something else I’d have said something else. Grr. Drives me mad, even though I know it’s not meant in an antagonizing way.
     
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  6. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

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    I have a good response for Mr J when he asks 'are you sure'.

    A reply with a rude acronym (said in full with a smile on my face) :D

    He gets the message :D
     
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  7. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    The words "yes. I'm quite sure" work.

    But there's a technique to it.

    Say it whilst exhaling through partly gritted teeth, slower than you usually would.
    It suggests exasperation.

    People generally stop asking if you're sure after that.
    Could always throw in a serial killer stare when replying,
    just for good measure.
     
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  8. Peter Morrison

    Peter Morrison Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi Pats - are you sure about those stories?
     
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  9. Rectify

    Rectify Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    @Pats I can see how it would be annoying but I agree with other posters here that people aren't meaning to question 'you'. It's more general, questioning anything odd.

    Sometimes there might an anxiety response in there too. Not clinical anxiety, but just the anxiety we feel everyday with wanting to make sure we are on the right track, have the right/correct knowledge about something.
     
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  10. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I ask my students this when they give the wrong answer. ;)
     
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  11. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Yes, that's a good way to let them know that they made a mistake and prompt them to rethink their answer. Though with most people, it usually means that they don't believe you and don't want to say it directly.
     
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  12. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yay! The rat is no longer a problem. One of the dogs must've gotten hold of it (I know they've been trying real hard to catch it). And, yes, @Peter Morrison - it WAS a rat. lol
    But I'm also a little grateful to the rat because I no longer have that file cabinet full of auto parts next to my door - my son moved it in an attempt to catch the rat. :)
     
  13. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    Has anyone had the thought that this likely happens to women more often than men?

    I'm sure I've been asked this but I never specifically noticed it, and I often say things without being sure so my answer a lot of the time was probably, "Nope! :D"
     
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  14. Rectify

    Rectify Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I have certainly noticed it with specific people. In fact, speaking of rats...we had a "professional" possum remover who kept insisting we weren't hearing possums in our ceiling. He said he thought we (females) were mistaken, that is was rats. You know how many rats we removed? None. Possums? Three!!

    So, I don't know about 'are you sure?', but some people are idiots.
     
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  15. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yes!! Come to think of it - And first thing a maintenance man asks if the clothes dryer messes up is if I knew how to clean out the lint filter, so I let him look at the clean filter to see for himself.
     
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  16. Rectify

    Rectify Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Some guy said to me the other day 'you're doing a great job.' While I was crouching down putting air in my tyres! What the hell?

    'So are you' I told him. He was making a delivery to the service station.

    Honestly, it's a wonder I go out as much as I do. It's so hard to understand people.

    That reminds me of something else off the 'are you sure?' topic but...my ex-husband got upset with me a couple of times when he went to use the dryer and found that I hadn't cleaned the filter. I clean it as I go to use the dryer the next time. I put the clothes in, close the door, take off the door thingy to clean it and press start. That's my habit, and it gets the job done, even if it doesn't make sense to others. In a way it surprised me that he would feel so strongly about it when he only used that dryer a few times in the decade we were together, but he was a bit like that. The order shouldn't have mattered that much because I was the one who used it 98% of the time (true stats :D).
     
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