why didn't anyone notice sooner?

[Au Naturel]

Autism as a common diagnosis was almost unheard of until the 90s. Prior to that, it was usually written off as eccentricity or nerdiness. Only ASD2 and 3 would ever be diagnosed and a lot of the time it would be treated as a generic retardation of unknown origin or assigned a diagnosis that didn't really fit.

When I was a kid (60s - 70s) it would be blamed on moral shortcomings. Lazy, disobedient, unsocial, selfish, cowardly, perverse, all those things. Practically speaking, where I lived, autism did not exist

But even today, parents will see the symptoms but it won't click. It never occurs to them their child might need help. Nobody wants to think their child is troubled. There's going into passive denial where they aren't even aware their thoughts are avoiding going in a particular direction and then there is active denial where you deny something despite the evidence. Humans are capable of spectacular levels of denial even when the evidence is obvious.

It is an unconscious coping mechanism and not something to hate them for.

 

[Sherlock77]

To be a slight contrarian

I sometimes think that we label people too much, "sometimes", not to discount struggles people have had... I think that when you label a young person or child with something, it can sometimes lead to them making excuses for not doing something or possibly not pursue things autistic people don't do

I didn't think of myself possibly being Aspie/Autistic until my early 40's, formally diagnosed when I was 48... In the meantime and before that I did some things most autistic people don't really do... And I learned to live my life and do things, always knowing that I'm a quirky and eccentric person... In particular the pursuit of street photography, something many would say is very un-Aspie, yet is something I have loved doing for 15 years now, because I didn't know any better... Would I have started doing street photography if I knew that I was Aspie? I don't know the answer...

 

[Aspychata]

To be a slight contrarian

I sometimes think that we label people too much, "sometimes", not to discount struggles people have had... I think that when you label a young person or child with something, it can sometimes lead to them making excuses for not doing something or possibly not pursue things autistic people don't do

I didn't think of myself possibly being Aspie/Autistic until my early 40's, formally diagnosed when I was 48... In the meantime and before that I did some things most autistic people don't really do... And I learned to live my life and do things, always knowing that I'm a quirky and eccentric person... In particular the pursuit of street photography, something many would say is very un-Aspie, yet is something I have loved doing for 15 years now, because I didn't know any better... Would I have started doing street photography if I knew that I was Aspie? I don't know the answer...

Excellent point. If my daughter had been labeled at an early age, she may have grown into that and not progressed and achieved where she is today. College, and a job. She has needed some assistance but she is surviving. This is all we can hope for, that our babies grow up and learn to function.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

People can hardly comprehend and deal with daily issues, I don't think it's fair to expect the average person to go beyond that. Why can't my dog take out the trash?

You can get Luca to train your dog for that task. But I think that the dog would need to have a natural propensity for such work to begin with

 

[Progster]

People did notice - I was a difficult child, had meltdowns, had sensory issues and behaviour that my parent's considered strange. But the suggestion of autism was dismissed - at the time, only kids with other comorbid issues or learning difficulties were diagnosed, and because I could talk and was reasonably intelligent and could interact with others, autism just didn't occur to the average person. Asperger's wasn't a 'thing'. The only person who recognised it for what it is was a private tutor I had because I was behind at school, who had experience with working with autistic children.

 

[Owliet]

My daughter would organize all her Halloween candy in 30 piles and then lay down in the middle with a huge smile. I remember taking her picture with her giant smile.

She did a lot of organizing of her toys. Lining up her Little Pony collection.

I Would organize my dinosaurs and wild animals in species and height order, there’s photos of me doing this as a child of 2 or 3 years old. Often sitting outside on the grass with a huge sun hat on. I would also do similar with clothing laundry pegs. I was an odd child... I still Organize things in a similar way like I did when I was a kid. At least it’s a valuable skill but I don’t do it with toys or laundry pegs anymore.

thank you for sharing! i hate the common stereotypes surrounding "men only having autism." im hoping my psychiatrist will not feel reluctant in diagnosing me, a deep fear ive had for a while now is him telling me "you don't look autistic sorry." it irks me how much ive been told that by people and my family since i said "hey, um i think i might have autism? but i think i need to do more research." this forum has opened up a new world for me in a way it feels liberating too, im glad things have gotten better for you

no problem, hope that you get the answers that you need.