Who here doesn’t have identity?

[Greening]

I identify myself a lot with being free. I want to move as freely as possible, mentally and spiritually, so I can discover new perpectives and nuances, and very old ones too. I do this because I am a very curious soul. I love to learn new things and educate myself in my own way. Not seeking consensus about many things, as I am much more interested in integrity. Having this perspective on life also means that I do not have any interest in taking on a very specific identity, because to me a lot of it is a spectrum we all move around on.

 

[Xinyta]

I know I have trouble with identity.

I know what I physically am. But it never really connected properly with how I felt spiritually and in a sense of personality.

Though I know a large amount has to do with childhood trama. I know there is a part of me somewhere just cannot see this world as thier home. Though that maybe a blessing in disguise belief. Because of how finite these human bodies are. The limitations feel binding though. Like a doll body that has ball and chains slowing it down.

I don't know if I'll ever feel truly human. But maybe I really don't want to. I don't relate to humanity. I don't understand alot of things that are just normal for NTs.

 

[Chailatte_]

Chailatte, may I ask if you are alexithymic? I agree with your post (very well thought out and written) but I am alexithymic and I am wondering if that is connected to not having a strong identity association.

@jsilver256 (thank you) I have strong alexithymia, that's why I base many of my decisions on rationality; I am not empathetic by nature (though I am sensitive). The people around me say that I have created mechanisms that take the principles of empathy but on a rational level. I start from a different point than a naturally empathetic person, but we almost reach the same “conclusion”. I haven't always been like this; before my current partner, I didn't even know empathy existed, and I had never been concerned about it. I adapted to his needs using rationality. However, there are still times when I don't understand some things because I can't 'grasp' them rationally, and that's where problems arise.

 

[tree]

I don’t have identity.

What this means is that I cannot define myself within any cultural norms. My ego is almost non-functional.

Identity is the part of ego that connects us to tribe and group. It is a self categorization.

You know you don’t have identity when it is hard for you to say: “I am (insert something here)”. We all have to say “I am X”. If you don’t have identity, this is what I call “nominal identity”.

If you don’t have identity…. Do you have a “comorbidity” of autism and ADD? (Not a big fan of disorderology)

This topic continues to mystify me.

Having 'no identity' sound so amorphous.

As if a person didn't exist.

Objectively speaking, any creature has some kind of identity.
A frog. A dog. A human. et cetera

 

[Au Naturel]

I think that people instinctively learn to mask. Just like they instinctively learn to speak. If they aren't exposed to the right stimulus at the right time, speech is delayed. If the exposure never happens speech never happens. Interestingly communication will develop with enough social exposure because it solves a problem.

If you were never questioned about stimming and other autistic behaviors, you'd never mask. But if you are questioned, learning to mask comes easily because there's a prewritten script. A script that says to conform to tribal behavior. The urge to belong is there in all of us, even if some reject it due to repeated failures.

 

[Au Naturel]

Like I have a "mum" hat, a "musician" hat, a "singer" an "artist" hat, a "peer support" hat, a "philosopher" a "mystic" hat, a "writer" hat, a "survivor" hat, yes, even a "disabled person" hat, a "partner" hat, all the other family member hats, a non-conventional person hat, even an "intellectual" hat,

Bingo! "I identify as..." is ridiculously limiting. Everyone is a human being first, and everything else is just a facet of their humanity. As soon as we start identifying one facet as our "identity," the door opens to doubt the humanity of those who do not share that facet.

 

[Greening]

I know I have trouble with identity.

I know what I physically am. But it never really connected properly with how I felt spiritually and in a sense of personality.

Though I know a large amount has to do with childhood trama. I know there is a part of me somewhere just cannot see this world as thier home. Though that maybe a blessing in disguise belief. Because of how finite these human bodies are. The limitations feel binding though. Like a doll body that has ball and chains slowing it down.

I don't know if I'll ever feel truly human. But maybe I really don't want to. I don't relate to humanity. I don't understand alot of things that are just normal for NTs.

This makes me think that as soon as you start to question the consensus of many things, you will realize that that consensus is often not questioned at all. So in this way a journey can begin every time you question something in life, in society. If you do not do this questioning to know yourself you can easily be sold many different ideas about who "you" are, but these are all illusions. So to identify, for instance as an animist as I do, requires this questioning to break down what is not really yours or mine, but a social, religious or other construct, and then be left with what truly is. When you do, or start doing, this questioning it is also very revealing to realize how many people simply act in a way to keep a power position, and their worst enemy is this questioning. It destroys the illusionary hierarchy of their world view. A world view that can be traced directly back to the ideas of owners and slaves. And precisely therefore is this inner work so important to find, and be, yourself. And leave consensus to be free. This is also why I wrote that I identify with being free, not as a person being dissolved in some way, but as a person with my own integrity and agency moving freely through what I can, want and will in life.

 

[thejuice]

I used to identify as a rocker/ metal head as early teen, wearing band t shirts and such. Maybe a bit of skater fashion with branded clothes and shoes.

The mid teens I started questioning it and how I was just following trends and it was following norms just like anything else. I was in an anti conformist and authority stage. So I just dressed very neutral from then on and took on the pretense that the inside only mattered..