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Who has not been confronted with making a career choice after high school?

Yes I am

New Member
I lived this period almost like a drama. All the acquaintances of my entourage seemed to know what they would do with their lives while I was in total nothingness!

Until now I have never been able to make this choice. I ended up studying computer science so I could make a living but it was an economical choice.

How do people come to know what they will do for the rest of their lives while in 6 months I do not know what interest I will develop?

I practically did all the possible disciplines in computer science and employers are starting to tell me that my CV is atypical (uh like me :))

To all aspies who are married, who have children ... Can you please tell me how you managed to build a sustainable family life?

Is this sedentary trait simply in you? Do you have to make an effort?
 
I had to chuckle a little bit at "How do people come to know what they will do for the rest of their lives while in 6 months I do not know what interest I will develop?"

It took me 11 years to figure out what to do with my life. I was a dumb 16-year-old kid when I got shipped off to college. Didn't know a damn thing about the world, much less what my place was supposed to be in it. I remember the "Huh?" feeling when the academic advisor basically said, in fewer words, "Okay, stupid. Here's a course catalog. Pick one of those, that's what you're gonna be for the rest of your life."

It's totally unrealistic how we expect such young people who have little to no life experience to make such a radical decision. If you don't know right this second what's going to make you happy for the rest of your life, it's because you're smart enough to not have any illusions that you could possibly know such a thing.

Not everyone has the luxury, but I hopped around from job-to-job, from school-to-school, from major-to-major, getting just a little taste of as many things as I could. From hotel management to horse ranching to forklift driving, and so much more, I tried a bit of everything and learned so much along the way.

I settled on a career that could be summarized as being in the field of engineering. Now I'm stable, happy as a lark, and on my way to true blue success. "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Ha, what a ridiculous question. I didn't see myself here 5 years ago. If life is that predictable, you're doing something wrong.
 
I had to chuckle a little bit at "How do people come to know what they will do for the rest of their lives while in 6 months I do not know what interest I will develop?"

It took me 11 years to figure out what to do with my life. I was a dumb 16-year-old kid when I got shipped off to college. Didn't know a damn thing about the world, much less what my place was supposed to be in it. I remember the "Huh?" feeling when the academic advisor basically said, in fewer words, "Okay, stupid. Here's a course catalog. Pick one of those, that's what you're gonna be for the rest of your life."

It's totally unrealistic how we expect such young people who have little to no life experience to make such a radical decision. If you don't know right this second what's going to make you happy for the rest of your life, it's because you're smart enough to not have any illusions that you could possibly know such a thing.

Not everyone has the luxury, but I hopped around from job-to-job, from school-to-school, from major-to-major, getting just a little taste of as many things as I could. From hotel management to horse ranching to forklift driving, and so much more, I tried a bit of everything and learned so much along the way.

I settled on a career that could be summarized as being in the field of engineering. Now I'm stable, happy as a lark, and on my way to true blue success. "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Ha, what a ridiculous question. I didn't see myself here 5 years ago. If life is that predictable, you're doing something wrong.

Definitly reassuring ! Thank you for your comment :)
 
If you don't know right this second what's going to make you happy for the rest of your life, it's because you're smart enough to not have any illusions that you could possibly know such a thing

What has been good this morning is seeing repeated perfection in your posts.
A joy to read.

I always thought that the advisor thing was stupid.

Try educating us about how the world works first. Oh wait, you don't know either. -
You're an academic advisor.
hows that working out for ya?
 
That's a great question, and I never understood it either! When I left school I felt so confused about what to do and under so much pressure, I ran away from home at 16 and took a bus 300 miles. I never went back for even a visit for a long time.

I eventually ended up in construction after job hopping because I had to do something with my life, but it wasn't my first choice it was economic necessity.

I always felt envious of people who knew what they wanted to do and planned their path out. I'm nearly 50 now and I still don't know what I want to do, although I've settled for what I'm doing now through lack of choice.

As for building a sustainable family life, it entails huge effort and work, on all sides.
I sometimes wonder how I do it but I was lucky that my wife is very tolerant, accepting and understanding. Truthfully, I don't know if we would have made it without my receiving a diagnosis.
 
My career path was always determined by very strong compulsions around my 'special interests', I would chop and change all the time, so it was a mess and there was no consistency to it. I have a language degree, a postgraduate degree that has nothing to do with languages, and then I would suddenly become compelled to learn everything I could about a country and its language, drop everything to go and live in that country, and that's how I became a language teacher. It's not something I ever set out to do, it just happened.

I speak to a lot of young students as part of my work about what they would like to do after they finish school, and most of them just don't know - they are under huge pressure because the system, or so-called 'rat race' is set up in such as way that to get ahead they need to decide at an early age what career they would like to pursue, but it can take people a lot time, even a lifetime, to discover themselves, know their strengths and their weaknesses - how can they know? Pressure from society to be socially and financially successful, to climb the ladder, to meet social expectations or milestones - and if you don't meet them, you are treated like an outcast. It sucks really.
 
Reading this, I'm reminded of some lyrics from a song that I think represents a good number of us very well.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life...
the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't
"Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen)" by Baz Luhrmann

 
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It's a laughable expectation given the inherently dynamic nature of economics and employment. I think some time ago I read where the average person will have no less than three "careers" in their lifetime.
 
I made the wrong choice. I do very well in the structured education environment, and so I got a four-year scholarship. I literally took whatever classes interested me for 3 years. In the 4th year, I looked at what I could get a degree in and computer science was the easiest to finish with what I had, so I got a degree in computer science. I've worked in the industry for 22 years.

I wasn't self aware enough until recently to put together the facts that:
1) I was always the go-to guy in college for help with math.
2) I do math when I get bored.
3) I jump at the chance to do any math-related project at work.
So now I'm trying to prepare myself financially and academically to go back to school and get a math degree. I still have almost 20 working years left before I retire - that's enough time to have another career.

Advice I would give:
1) Pay attention to the things that you can't help but study, can't help but do. What pursuits can't you put down? (A counselor won't be able to tell you what career is perfect for you, but they may ask the right questions to help you be self-aware enough to know what you think you would like and be good at.)
2) You don't have to get it right the first time. It's okay to change careers. The pressure on youth to know as soon as they graduate is ridiculous.
 
After high school, I was through with the social pressure that I experienced there. However, there was a military obligation at that time. Within a few weeks after graduation it was apparent that I was going to be drafted. So I enlisted in the Army before I got drafted. That way I got pick my MOS ( military occupational standard ) and did not have to go into the infantry. I was a tank mechanic in the Army.

After I got out of the Army, there did not seem to be much demand for tank mechanics. I next logical choice was heavy equipment, so I went to work for a Cat dealership in the forklift shop. That was almost fifty years ago and I am still working on forklifts. Now I have my own business and only work on electric forklifts, batteries and battery chargers.

I have been very lucky in my working career. I was always a field service tech, so I always worked alone. Machines are and always have been my special interest. I have spent my whole working career working with machinery. Just right for this old Aspie.
 

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