When work affects your life

[BobbyCresent]

Hello, My name is Bobby.

I am seeking advice and your own story about working. To see if I have common ground.

I have lag disorder and high funtioning autism and other things I can't remember. I been disornosis at 13 offically.

I been looking for a job for 3 year and finally got one as a Covid cleaner in the uk. However it been really tough on me. I thorwn up after the frist day.

After 3 month, i have become horrible as home. I snap and cry at a flick of a button. I no longer enjoy my hobby and sleep most of the day.

My empolyers and collages have nothing to complain about me or my work.

I only do 5 hour, mon to fri, early to midday. Perfect for me as it like part time hour but not really.

It a jobcenter so if i quit, i will have to go back to the same jobcenter if i dont find a job. Whitch it not great for me.

I dont like people, i could do with the lights and the sound or the annoy heater system. I cant deal with people, i find them hard to read and i cant tell if i done anything wroung or said the wroung thing. I feel tried and nervous after talking to people.

My job require ramdon people to come in and regular staff. It qutie a lot of people to deal with.

I dont know how long i can do this job even with reduce hours/day. I find it difficult to funtion day to day.

Please share me your storyies or advice. I wait with baited breath.

Sorry for any spelling or grammer mistakes.

Thank you for listening.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Covid cleaner? OMG you are a hero. But I can understand the way that it would break you as a human being. I just couldn't do it either.

I would suggest you go back to school, and live off of financial aid, as you work toward a better future. Have you considered medical assisting? They're the nurses that come in and check your blood pressure and temperature, and ask you your symptoms before the doctor comes in. It's good pay, the uniform is comfy and cute, and not many years of training are involved.

 

[BobbyCresent]

I afried, i cant go back to school without paying for it. I dont have money to do that. if you know any program that will pay for it, im happy to apply.

Im am not a hero, im just a cleaner who clean chair and desk after they been used. Dont think me as anything speical cause im not. Not trying to be mean toward you, i just beening humble cause it not really anything speical.

Im hope to get a job where i dont have to interact with public or work in a small office maybe. I cant talk to interact with people very well. It can make me have heart palutions.

On a side note, i would love to work in a small office but most of those require you to have eniglish at a level C and i have done english lag 4 time and all resulted in Ds. I have also failed funtional english.

Thank you for reply to my post btw i having difficult time and it make me feel better

 

[Tom]

What you experience is very common for people on the spectrum. Interacting with, and understanding people does not come as naturally for us as it does for NTs (Neurotypicals)

You almost certainly can learn more about how to do it, but it of course depends on how much you want to.

But even if it is a skill you don't care about of itself, it may be part of the chain of skills needed to get to something you do want.

One suggestion is to do some online research. There is a lot already written on many sites explaining and discssing how to develop and improve skills. I would suggest trying to find multiple sources to look at. Different autism organizations and charities that offer the resources have different attitudes towards autism.

 

[BobbyCresent]

What you experience is very common for people on the spectrum. Interacting with, and understanding people does not come as naturally for us as it does for NTs (Neurotypicals)

You almost certainly can learn more about how to do it, but it of course depends on how much you want to.

But even if it is a skill you don't care about of itself, it may be part of the chain of skills needed to get to something you do want.

One suggestion is to do some online research. There is a lot already written on many sites explaining and discssing how to develop and improve skills. I would suggest trying to find multiple sources to look at. Different autism organizations and charities that offer the resources have different attitudes towards autism.

Yes that would make sence. I already undergo a lot of training. That why i dont really have any trouble with collages or my empolyers. However no matter how nice they are. At home I feel wore out, have panic attacks, heart palputions. At times cry or get angery at a flick of a switch. All these are not normal to me.

 

[Tom]

I'm not an expert on this, but if I had to venture a guess it sounds like too much of your reserves of energy and patience are being used up at work. That it is using up more then can be restored in the rest of the hours of the day.

That can be caused by the work itself or the interactions with others, and from what you have said I would think it is the people part. I think you are on the right track thinking it may improve in a different situation. Say still a cleaning job but in a different setting. There is nothing wrong with experimenting by trying a change. The problem there is that changes are notoriously diificult for many on the spectrum. But going thru the change may be needed to fix the situation overall.

I think it a very strong clue that something is indeed wrong as you see a very strong change in your own personality. That is a very valid indication you are under too much stress.

 

[BobbyCresent]

I'm not an expert on this, but if I had to venture a guess it sounds like too much of your reserves of energy and patience are being used up at work. That it is using up more then can be restored in the rest of the hours of the day.

That can be caused by the work itself or the interactions with others, and from what you have said I would think it is the people part. I think you are on the right track thinking it may improve in a different situation. Say still a cleaning job but in a different setting. There is nothing wrong with experimenting by trying a change. The problem there is that changes are notoriously diificult for many on the spectrum. But going thru the change may be needed to fix the situation overall.

I think it a very strong clue that something is indeed wrong as you see a very strong change in your own personality. That is a very valid indication you are under too much stress.

Yes, you said it far better than i can.
It a terrible thing to reconized because if i cant work in this enviroment then what enviroment can i work in?
Im going to have to quit or reduce my hour/days. Im feel terrible about the whole thing. I want to be able to support myself.

 

[Tom]

Yes, you said it far better than i can.
It a terrible thing to reconized because if i cant work in this enviroment then what enviroment can i work in?
Im going to have to quit or reduce my hour/days. Im feel terrible about the whole thing. I want to be able to support myself.

I think it is very common for both ASD and NT people to go thru a period of experimenting with jobs, doing different ones in the beginning. And I also think people on the spectrum are on a longer curve time wise. We can start later and be on a longer learning curve. It was that way for me. So try not to be discouraged if the first thing you try isn't right for you. You do have to learn skills, and what works and what doesn't but I think the main component is actually your own motivation. In other words I firmly believe where there is a will there is a way.

 

[Owliet]

Yes, you said it far better than i can.
It a terrible thing to reconized because if i cant work in this enviroment then what enviroment can i work in?
Im going to have to quit or reduce my hour/days. Im feel terrible about the whole thing. I want to be able to support myself.

I only started a job and I do find it at times to be challenging at times. I can’t offer much advice, like Tom is excellently providing, as I don’t have that much experience with job wise problems but I do think if it is affecting you , you need to look for ways to reduce your hours or anything further to support your own self care. Don’t feel bad about it. It’s just not the right environment for you. Like fast paced environments aren’t for me because they’re extremely overwhelming.

 

[Ken]

I don't really have any advice, but here is my experience. Hope it might be of some help.
It was in my first job that I discovered that I cannot function in any job that required human interaction. like you, it induced heat palpitations and also panicky feelings and profound confusion.
From that point on, I never even considered any jobs that required people skills. I only looked for and applied for jobs where my work would take place in a private or secluded environment and did not involve customers or other people. That was difficult and very scary because I had no means of support, so a job was a hard requirement. I also knew that getting a job then getting fired or quitting was detrimental to my work record. So, I had to seek and choose carefully. During those years, I felt like I was the most unlucky person on the planet, but now, in retirement and looking back, I realize I was actually very lucky. I was mostly able to find jobs fitting those requirements. I also learned that I am slow and meticulous. I simply can't work fast. I found that the slow part was very detrimental. With that, I learned to come in early and/or stay late - off the clock - to give me more time to do my work so I wouldn't be behind.
Most employers would say that they was not interested in the meticulous part, claiming that it was not worth the slowness. However, the extra off hours work let the meticulous part become a benefit. My employers liked the quality of my work and most never knew anything about the extra hours.
My best job was my last - the one I retired from. I had my own private room to work in and my boss seemed to know I was autistic or at least he knew that people distractions seriously interfered with my work. He considered my work valuable enough to put a "do not disturb" sign on my door, and he was the enforcer of it. It was my best ever job, until the business grew large enough to introduce tiered management, where I had a new boss. I found the plans was to put everyone in a single large room. I quit - retired - as soon as I discovered that plan. The timing was good for me.

I wish you luck in finding a good - fitting - job where you can be happy!

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

@BobbyCresent I am in the USA, but I'm sure that in a nation as advanced socially and economically as the UK, there has to be a good college financial aid system with grants, loans, and scholarships, that especially are geared toward low income people.

Maybe there are even free programs administered by local government that train low income people in trades.

Never give up.

 

[BobbyCresent]

Thank you all for your advice.
Im not sure what the future holds for me but i hope for the best.
It nice to know that im not alone.

Thank you