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What’s your Stim that nobody knows but you?

A

AspieChris

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Stims or “Stimming” as I think I understand it is something done to scratch the itch of needing something to get the physical nerve endings to be satisfied. In those with ASD who are non-verbal it is often something like flapping their hands or rocking back and forth. But the more high-functioning of us have found ways to scratch that itch in a way that is less obvious.

So…. what’s yours? It might be something that is done hourly, daily, or even weekly.

Generally for me it is very well hidden. I might scratch my fingernails together inside my pants pocket, or use my tongue to check every single crevice between my teeth. I do any number of things when I’m stressed (which is basically all if the time) but after 50 years of learning that the rest of the world thinks it’s disturbing…. I have found ways to keep it so well hidden that I’m not even sure what is just normal anymore.
 
Humming and repeating my phrases. I try really hard to keep those stims under control when I’m in public. It can be hard sometimes, but I can manage. I trade those stims for rubbing my nose with my index finger instead. I do that to try and blend in, so no one notices. Since volunteering, I rub my nose. It looks normal and it’s well hidden.
 
Im always biting the inside of my lip, thankfully not too much that it bleeds but it’s all the time.

My son flaps his arms when he gets excited.
 
Ah, yes, the nose rubbing.
I did that so much as a child my mom told me I was going to break my nose.
I'd forgotten that one.

Now the main one that isn't noticeable is rubbing my right thumb with my right forefinger.
It is always rough in that area because I have a scar beside the nail on that thumb and it has always been a sensitive spot.
I also do the tongue on tooth thing. I have a crown that never felt right and I find my tongue on it a lot.

Don't think anyone notices those two things.
 
I only really know people that I also grew up with nowadays so nothing is hidden. For professional meetings I still repress the effective ones and settle for things like pressing my nails into my finger tips and such. It's not enough though, so it's a strained experience.
 
SusanLR said:
Ah, yes, the nose rubbing.
I did that so much as a child my mom told me I was going to break my nose.
I'd forgotten that one.

Now the main one that isn't noticeable is rubbing my right thumb with my right forefinger.
It is always rough in that area because I have a scar beside the nail on that thumb and it has always been a sensitive spot.
I also do the tongue on tooth thing. I have a crown that never felt right and I find my tongue on it a lot.

Don't think anyone notices those two things.
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I roll my right index finger around my right thumb also Grandma said I would wear my thumbnail off Generally under the table or in my pocket somewhere that people don't notice It helps me settle and focus
Someone sometime 30 years ago told me I was high functioning but I had no idea what they meant
Just diagnosed last week and so many things falling into place
Thank you all for making me feel at home
 
My sneakiest stim is wiggling my toes inside of my shoes. I have many obvious ones, but this is the one no one sees.
 
I`m a janitor at a high school. My work also involves walking around in the atrium when the kids are on their brake. It is very crowded and it feels quite stressful some days. I always have keys in my pocket. To releave the stress in that situation I have my hands in my pocket and fiddle around with the keys. It helps to calm me down while still being able to do my job.
Since the thing above could be noticed by people I also have one that I really only do when I know nobody is going to see me. Sometimes I have a long shift (8.30 am till 10.30 pm) but during the evening the school is really quiet. When it has been a stressful day I hop around the hallways I know no one is going to be in. Hopping around is one of the best stress releavers for me. Sadly my bad neck does not allow me to do this for too long.
(in my language it is called huppelen, which google translates into hopping around.)
Skipping De Mol GIF by VIER
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In serious meetings, I could often hold my hands under the table and slowly work the webs between my fingers. Not only calming, but a real aid to concentration. I did it slowly, so don't think anyone saw anything eye-catching.

The tongue-on-teeth thing is why I stay in touch with my dentist.
 
AspieChris said:
Stims or “Stimming” as I think I understand it is something done to scratch the itch of needing something to get the physical nerve endings to be satisfied. In those with ASD who are non-verbal it is often something like flapping their hands or rocking back and forth. But the more high-functioning of us have found ways to scratch that itch in a way that is less obvious.

So…. what’s yours? It might be something that is done hourly, daily, or even weekly.

Generally for me it is very well hidden. I might scratch my fingernails together inside my pants pocket, or use my tongue to check every single crevice between my teeth. I do any number of things when I’m stressed (which is basically all if the time) but after 50 years of learning that the rest of the world thinks it’s disturbing…. I have found ways to keep it so well hidden that I’m not even sure what is just normal anymore.
Click to expand...
Up until I was in my mid 40's, I thought I had some stims that no one knew about. I would pop my tongue on the roof of my mouth and click my teeth together with my mouth closed. I would do it lightly and thought no one could hear or detect I was doing it. Then, one day at work, a coworker asked me why I did that and informed me that it was very annoying.

Now I don't trust any of my stems to be securely hidden. One of my most common stems is simply twiddling my thumbs. I usually do it unconsciously so I don't know how discrete it is. When I discover that I'm doing it, I realize that I am doing it very aggressively. I also run my fingers back an forth along the seam of my clothing. I guess that looks pretty strange.

I try not to do these things, but it's always a discovery that I'm doing it. I am very confident that everyone is so polite as to never mention it, so I can't count on any feedback - except for that one coworker. That was very embarrassing, but I am glad he did mention it. Now I assume nothing can be truly trusted to be unnoticed.
 
I talk to myself too, out loud. I always thought that I was doing it at a low enough volume that nobody knew. But my wife recently told me that she hears me doing it all of the time.

Embarrassing.
 
Perhaps swimming is stimming.
It's a chore, I go most nights because I want to give my mental and physical health the best fighting chance, as I am 56 years young.
 
I don't know if it's a stim but I've been doing it for most of my life. I pick the skin around my finger nails and then rub it against my lip. Used to pick my actual nails too but I managed to stop doing that. My dad used to do it too, just without the lip thing. He ended up getting an infection in his hand and needed some kind of surgery. He tried to use that to stop me from doing it, didn't work lol. We both still do it
 
My older brother had a habit of hitting me if I stimmed audibly or visibly because it was "stupid" and I shouldn't be doing it. So from a early age, my stims became mental "mantras", working my tongue around the back of my teeth, biting the inside of my lip, and curling my toes inside my shoes. If I was sitting, I could get away with shaking my right leg up and down without anyone saying anything, so that one has stuck throughout life, as has the toe-curling. The only one who ever questioned why I did the leg shake was my wife. I really couldn't tell her why. I didn't know I was autisistic till I was 64. I didn't know what stimming was till I started deep-diving into what autism involved since I now knew I was autistic.
 
Jumpinbare said:
My older brother had a habit of hitting me if I stimmed audibly or visibly because it was "stupid" and I shouldn't be doing it. So from a early age, my stims became mental "mantras", working my tongue around the back of my teeth, biting the inside of my lip, and curling my toes inside my shoes. If I was sitting, I could get away with shaking my right leg up and down without anyone saying anything, so that one has stuck throughout life, as has the toe-curling. The only one who ever questioned why I did the leg shake was my wife. I really couldn't tell her why. I didn't know I was autisistic till I was 64. I didn't know what stimming was till I started deep-diving into what autism involved since I now knew I was autistic.
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I'm so sorry that happened to you, and that you didn't know you were autistic until age 64.
I used to get grief for stimming as well, rocking back and forth.
I don't really know stims that no-one else knows, I probably have loads, I put soft things on my cheek, even things in shops.
 
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