What's your excuse?

[tree]

The jelly which is made with genetically modified grapes, reacted
with the radioactively sterilized wheat to produce meat eating pastry.

What will it take to convince me that this project is worth doing?

 

[Mia]

Maybe an avocado sandwich with lemon pickles and fresh salsa on the side.

What on earth would make that dirt truck stop going up and down my street?

 

[tree]

I can say from experience, only the passing of time, possibly two weeks,
will bring an end to the dirt truck procession, and only if your patience
has worn thin 13 days prior to that length of time.

When will you stop procrastinating over every little thing?

 

[inabox]

When the elder pixie has chosen the name for the baby princess, heir-to-the-throne, pixie.

Why did you hide my glasses under the couch where you knew I would only look now, after 3 months of searching?

 

[Flinty]

To make it easier for you to look at me.

Why have we been surrounded by water?

 

[zurb]

Calvin must be having a bath again.

Why haven't you packed the car yet?

 

[inabox]

Because it won't fit in the suitcase no matter how hard I try.

How did the bed fit through that doorway?

 

[Flinty]

There's no more doorway.

Why are we carting around a king-sized bed anyway?

 

[piney13]

because , I am the King
why do you insist on taking one breath after another ?

 

[tree]

I don't, really.
Sometimes I have to remind myself to do it.

When will you stop paying so much attention to yourself?

 

[Flinty]

Once I have something better to pay attention to. Any ideas?

Why can't I stop sneezing?

 

[tree]

If you'd stop breathing, you'd quit sneezing.

What you're doing is obviously
never going to amount to anything;
why don't you just give up?

 

[Flinty]

The whole point is that it doesn't amount to anything.

Why have there been so few puns around here lately?

 

[Mia]

It's the awful weather, its punishing us for destroying the planet.

Where did that cave go that I used to hide in?

 

[tree]

Puff the Magic Dragon took over the lease years ago.

Why does that noisy creature keep following me?

 

[Flinty]

Sorry, she's just really really gabby. I've been trying to shut her up since 1991.

Why are you making me wear a polyester garment?

 

[tree]

I know you don't mean me. I wouldn't make anybody wear polyester.


Why does she keep copying me?

 

[Flinty]

Because you're skinny enough to fit in the photocopier.

Why is half the park dug up?

 

[zurb]

Because they haven't finished the other half yet!

Why haven't you changed out of your dirty football uniform?

 

[Flinty]

Because that's the only way people will believe that I actually play football...whether I actually do or not.

What happened to all my Gatorade?