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What would your perfect childhood look like?
- Thread starter Voltaic
- Start date
Jana Delaney
Active Member
My perfect childhood would look like one in which I did not have to watch my 12-year-old sister being beaten by my Mother, to the point where she was lying on top of her screaming and hitting her about the head, when I was five.
My perfect childhood would not include having been molested by a paedophile when I was also five.
My perfect childhood would not include having been dragged up the stairs by my feet at the age of six, as my head bounced off every step, and then thrown into my room like a piece of garbage, all because I had been tricked into doing something I shouldn't by older children, who bullied me.
My perfect childhood would not have included wandering around the school playground at intervals on my own, wondering why, at the age of five, nobody liked me.
My perfect childhood would not have included receiving a similar beating to the one I witnessed my Sister having, at the age of eight, when my own Mother lay on top of me, pushing me and screaming and hitting me.
My perfect childhood would not have included my Mother incessantly poisoning both me and my Sister against my Father, endlessly and continuously.
My perfect childhood would not have included being subjected to an endless barrage of gas-lighting emotional invalidation, emotional blackmail, ridicule, name-calling, humiliation and bullying, from someone who should have loved me.
My perfect childhood would not have included being made responsible for my own Mother's feelings, forced to be more of a parent to her than she ever was for me.
My perfect childhood would not include having been molested by a paedophile when I was also five.
My perfect childhood would not include having been dragged up the stairs by my feet at the age of six, as my head bounced off every step, and then thrown into my room like a piece of garbage, all because I had been tricked into doing something I shouldn't by older children, who bullied me.
My perfect childhood would not have included wandering around the school playground at intervals on my own, wondering why, at the age of five, nobody liked me.
My perfect childhood would not have included receiving a similar beating to the one I witnessed my Sister having, at the age of eight, when my own Mother lay on top of me, pushing me and screaming and hitting me.
My perfect childhood would not have included my Mother incessantly poisoning both me and my Sister against my Father, endlessly and continuously.
My perfect childhood would not have included being subjected to an endless barrage of gas-lighting emotional invalidation, emotional blackmail, ridicule, name-calling, humiliation and bullying, from someone who should have loved me.
My perfect childhood would not have included being made responsible for my own Mother's feelings, forced to be more of a parent to her than she ever was for me.
My childhood wasn't perfect, but I wouldn't change anything. I was a happy kid. If I could change anything, I'd want my teenage self to know what my life looks like today. To know that I'm not that weird, and that there's happiness, friends, a career and a place in this world for me too.
I don't think that there's such a thing as a perfect childhood, but but one thing I would change is to get diagnosed as a child, in the first year of school when my social difficulties really became apparent. I think that I would have had an easier childhood if I'd been diagnosed as a child.
Perhaps I was lucky, or not.
I avoided socialisation completely between 11 and 16 y taking a tennis ball into school. We played soccer with it on every break.
Nearer sixteen, I noticed others moving on but I didn't or couldn't. Making friends with other groups, growing up....
I still carry that tennis ball in my pocket to this day. 30 years later.
Joking. I don't!
But if I didn't carry the ball I think there's a much better chance I would have been bullied ie certain issues may have become clearer at a younger age.
I got my first job while still operating under the delusion that I may have been a normal person.
No one else applying for it helped a lot
I avoided socialisation completely between 11 and 16 y taking a tennis ball into school. We played soccer with it on every break.
Nearer sixteen, I noticed others moving on but I didn't or couldn't. Making friends with other groups, growing up....
I still carry that tennis ball in my pocket to this day. 30 years later.
Joking. I don't!
But if I didn't carry the ball I think there's a much better chance I would have been bullied ie certain issues may have become clearer at a younger age.
I got my first job while still operating under the delusion that I may have been a normal person.
No one else applying for it helped a lot
I wouldn't change anything. I had a string of traumatic experiences in early childhood. Most people would probably think I'd want to undo that but I wouldn't because if I didn't have those experiences I wouldn't be who I am today. Sure, life is hard sometimes but I wouldn't want to be anybody else.
I'm happy with who I am now, so I wouldn't change anything. All roads lead to right now, after all.
But in the spirit of the thread, I guess it would've saved me some time and pain if I had actually been taught lessons on social rules and how to properly socialize rather than being deliberately left to learn my own lessons in pain.
But in the spirit of the thread, I guess it would've saved me some time and pain if I had actually been taught lessons on social rules and how to properly socialize rather than being deliberately left to learn my own lessons in pain.
The 88th butterfly breaks the cycle....
not being born frightened
Frankly I'm not sure what a "perfect" childhood would even involve. Not having lived such a thing I don't think I can muster up a proper frame of reference to even imagine it.
Though between my brother, my nephew and myself, two things come to mind I'll share.
1. Not growing up in a broken household (as a child of divorce) regarding my nephew.
2. Not growing up in a military household (where we were forever moving) regarding my brother and myself.
Though between my brother, my nephew and myself, two things come to mind I'll share.
1. Not growing up in a broken household (as a child of divorce) regarding my nephew.
2. Not growing up in a military household (where we were forever moving) regarding my brother and myself.
I sometimes think if my parents had just moved away from here to somewhere out farther west, perhaps New Mexico. They took a trip out there 6 months before I was born, if they had just stayed and found a quieter area with a smaller school district. Or even maybe Idaho where my dad knew quite a few people and they briefly did consider moving. I think a population much smaller might have been better for me. I could be wrong, though. Anyhoo, that's all I can think of that is realistic. Of course my dad could have also listened to my mom and got that mole checked out when she told him and then he might still be alive. That would have helped a bit, too. Though I wonder what our relationship would have been like. Would my dad have ended up more liberal minded as he aged? How would he reacted to my lack of religion? I know he wouldn't vote Republican, so that part would have been ok. Not sure what he would think of my art and not sure if I'd be doing what I am now. As much as I want to change things about my childhood I really don't know what I would be now and if I would like it. I might of ended up more isolated. So maybe if we had just moved a few times, spent less time around some of the family and more time around a variety of people. Maybe I needed more variety more than anything else. That's just a really hard question.
Actually, you would be wrong, dead wrong. I did live and went to school in a rural part of Idaho and I can tell you it was HELL. One important thing you need to know about rural communities is is that everybody knows everybody and if you are the oddball/Blacksheep in the group. You'll find youself quickly being exiled/excluded from the community group.
Yeah, I thought that might be the case. So, maybe not too small an area, but maybe a bit smaller than I endured. Large schools are torture, too. Not sure what an ideal situation would be. Maybe home schooling with lots of outings. But not where I am because when I was a kid this place just wasn't diverse enough. Even now it's too homogeneous even though it's better. Sorry it was hell for you where ever you were.
I would say that changing my childhood would have involved 'removing' my older sister entirely from the picture. She spent her life bullying me, lying to my family about me, creating an impossible situation in which I couldn't defend myself from her physical, psychological and 'other' abuse. She chose to destroy my character, reputation, within my own family and alienate all of my siblings with the exception of my own father. I became the family scapegoat as a result of her campaign of lies. Sometimes I think that when she dies I will take a trip and spit on her grave.
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If I could change anything that I did as a kid, I think I would have been more of a disciplinarian when watching my brother and sister instead of letting my sister bully me into letting them to anything. (Mind you, I was 5 and 6 years older than them.) I probably also would have saved myself the heartache of mom being furious with me for letting my brother go outside unattended after dark, which resulted in him getting lost in the neighborhood and having everyone in the neighborhood looking for him. If I could change something outside of my control, I would have liked my parents to take me to a specialist earlier to be diagnosed, with multiple concerns, since otherwise they refused to believe there was anything wrong with me. Not growing up with an unstable mom would have been nice, too.
SchrodingersMeerkat
trash mammal
My parents would have listened to me and refused to take crap from the school.
My mom would have homeschooled me sooner and did an unschooling approach and gotten me tested for dyscalculia.
My mom would have encouraged me to be a vet instead of telling me I never could because of said dyscalculia.
My mom letting me talk about my special interests.
My dad didn't drink or would give it up for me instead of my niece.
My mom and dad would have moved and got me into that zoo school I wanted to go too. Or at least a school that took me seriously and didn't encourage other kids to bully me.
My mom wouldn't use my autism as an excuse for me not to do things and let me learn to drive at sixteen.
My mom letting me do the things I wanted to do, instead of forcing me into doing the things she wanted me to do.
My mom letting me do things for regular kids and not just for special needs kids.
My mom taking seriously about my older brother being a bullying instead of telling me it was my fault because he was jealous of me. I didn't ask her to adopt me.
My mom taking me seriously about being hit and thrown into walls by my father when he was drunk instead of just telling me it was my fault for making him angry in the first place.
My mom letting me have an imagination instead of taking every time I pretended to be someone else as a sign that I was mentally ill and unable to distinguish fantasy from reality when I was four years old!
My mom would have homeschooled me sooner and did an unschooling approach and gotten me tested for dyscalculia.
My mom would have encouraged me to be a vet instead of telling me I never could because of said dyscalculia.
My mom letting me talk about my special interests.
My dad didn't drink or would give it up for me instead of my niece.
My mom and dad would have moved and got me into that zoo school I wanted to go too. Or at least a school that took me seriously and didn't encourage other kids to bully me.
My mom wouldn't use my autism as an excuse for me not to do things and let me learn to drive at sixteen.
My mom letting me do the things I wanted to do, instead of forcing me into doing the things she wanted me to do.
My mom letting me do things for regular kids and not just for special needs kids.
My mom taking seriously about my older brother being a bullying instead of telling me it was my fault because he was jealous of me. I didn't ask her to adopt me.
My mom taking me seriously about being hit and thrown into walls by my father when he was drunk instead of just telling me it was my fault for making him angry in the first place.
My mom letting me have an imagination instead of taking every time I pretended to be someone else as a sign that I was mentally ill and unable to distinguish fantasy from reality when I was four years old!
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to make it a perfect childhood, id need:
to be born on time, not three months early, possibly removing a great many issues, including aspergers. (optional)
a better dad, who is a loving parent and wont off himself, damaging the family and my childhood beyond repair. (mandatory)
to be born on time, not three months early, possibly removing a great many issues, including aspergers. (optional)
a better dad, who is a loving parent and wont off himself, damaging the family and my childhood beyond repair. (mandatory)
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