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What was your challenges growing up with Autism or Asperger?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by The Friend of Joy, Nov 6, 2019.

  1. The Friend of Joy

    The Friend of Joy New Member

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    Hi, I wonder a bit: What was your challenges growing up with autism or Aspergers? I myself has a very mild Asperger diagnosis, and don't consider myself autistic exactly, but admits I had signs of this when I was younger.

    I am curious: What was your challenge? Was it empathy, understanding sarcasm, acceptance, or anything really?

    I know very well that a lot of people with this syndrome, including myself, have a lot of empathy, but still: There were any moments there you sort of, without knowing it, crossed other people's boundaries, or they were being sarcastic and you didn't understand it? It is just interesting to find out how different an experience can be from person to person.

    I myself was very introvert and shy when it came to strangers as young, especially those on my own age, preferring to spend time with adults who I could have more interesting conversations with. I understood some sarcasm, but not all of it, before I learned how sarcasm worked via an online-forum and related experiences, more than a decade ago. When our teacher told us we had to win this and only winning mattered, before a sports-game, when I was young, I didn't get she didn't mean it that seriously. Today I would have, but back then I didn't always comprehend things like that, taking many people too seriously. I did however understand when some made of fun of me, but that seldom or never happened, at least not directly.

    Empathy has always been strong with me though, and I have never really crossed other people's boundaries without understanding it, as far as I know of. And I have always cared for other people, and I am not an introvert entirely with those who I know and trust. I can be social as well.

    But everyone is different: How was growing up for you? It is your story which is the point of this thread, not mine, or more correctly: The story of each and every one of us. :)

    -Friendly regards: FoJ
     
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  2. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    If you hang around the forum, you'll start to read a lot of answers to this question under various contexts. Not that people won't just answer here, I'm sure many will, but that's how I learned the most about people here. Personally, I'm not currently motivated to rehash anything for this thread, things I've detailed many times in others.
     
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  3. Jason Bennett

    Jason Bennett Well-Known Member

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    My family of origin often shamed me for being different than them/society. My deficits were embarrassing for them. I was extremly frustrated not being appreciated for ideas, opinions, and creativity because I was the odd one. There wasn't much ASD information for parents in the '70s, so I suffered in a harsh, emotional environment. I was often told to be quiet when I had ideas, or stood up for myself. I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea.
     
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  4. Peter Morrison

    Peter Morrison Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I look back through my life and realize that I was at a great disadvantage and I just accepted my problems, confusion, and failures as a normal existence. I understand things much better now, but it changes nothing about my life. I still take pride in my achievements, my abilities, and my ethics. I played fairly with the world. I suppose that everyone on the spectrum has stories to share. As Fino said, people here share a lot of their stories and dilemmas in ways we can understand. That makes us special to one another, but we're still very much individuals.
     
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  5. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I think my sister and father and most of his family had high autistic traits or Aspergers, this may have led to me noticing little difference from others in my family, and certainly all my life I didn't understand the level of difference I had, it is hard to notice a lack, or gaps. I just thought I was unusual, quiet, bright, shy, etc, took me ages to chance upon high autistic traits or Aspergers as a cause of unstructured social communication difficulties.

    I have gradually realised I also have difficulty with executive function / organising self or tasks, spontaneous imagination, confusion in relating and more. Still learning, but I think some significant positive traits are part of the profile too, such as my independence, ability to think outside the box, positive outlook and ability to problem solve.
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2019 at 5:00 AM
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  6. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

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    Live a little and go spicy!
     
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  7. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    l had vivid imagination. l could pick up on other people's thoughts. 1st or 2nd grade, l watched about the Holocaust and had horrible nightmares and was quite fearful for some time.
     
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  8. dragonfire42

    dragonfire42 Perpetual outsider

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    I think my biggest problem was that while I was diagnosed in fourth grade or so, neither my parents nor I knew very much about it until I was in my teens. Add to that a fluctuating functioning level, and I was often told I was lazy, not trying hard enough, and/or didn't care when I couldn't meet NT expectations, when in actuality I was trying my hardest. That, I believe, has led to severe self-esteem issues my whole life.
     
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  9. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

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    I didn't have a desire for socialising so I didn't have friends in school.
    A lot of the other students made fun of me because I was not a very pretty girl growing up
    and I was very intellectual. That wasn't what the other students liked for a friend. Just didn't fit in.

    The things that bothered me the most though was the co-morbidities of anxiety disorder and
    depression. I was home schooled through high school. University was alright, but, still didn't
    make friends and didn't have to live on campus as we lived so close I just drove there for my
    classes.

    I never left home to live on my own and that was fine until I lost my parents and had to suddenly
    make my way in the world without family closeness.
    It was my grief counselor that thought I showed signs of what was then called Aspergers and
    suggested I go for a diagnosis.
     
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  10. The Friend of Joy

    The Friend of Joy New Member

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    Thanks for sharing. :)

    It is both surprising and non-surprising at the same time, to me, that some of you struggle with this to this extent. I fully understand, I don't judge, just interesting to read, how this affects you. I really wish you well, those of you who do struggle, but I know it can be a challenge, and that changes aren't, generally, done in a day. No matter what: Thanks for sharing! :)

    -Friendly regards: FoJ
     
  11. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Social difficulties, behavioural problems at school and home, meltdowns, not understanding and in turn being misunderstood, rigid thinking: not able to see or accept any point of view other than my own, not being able to relate to other people and fit in, emotional difficulties, not able to easily recognise and then deal with or control feelings of frustration or anger, some school activities I couldn't or refused to do such as cursive handwriting and country dancing, holding my parents' hand to cross the road. Problems with organising myself, loosing or forgetting things, forgetting to give my mum my PE kit to was and then not have clean PE kit for the next lesson, for exa,ple. Bad handwriting, bullied and low self-esteem.
     
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  12. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson ~GigglesTheAutisticHyena~

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    Being misunderstood cause we didn't know I was an Autistic mind. None of us knew. The family thought I may be autistic, but I didn't get diagnosed until just last year.
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2019 at 2:48 PM
  13. leehart

    leehart Active Member

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    For me it was behaving in a way that wouldn't stand out and failing enough at this that both primary and high school were awful. Bullied badly at both, couldn't establish good friendships and didnt have a friend that wouldn't deny knowing me if the 'cooler' kids asked.
     
  14. Jimbo

    Jimbo Well-Known Member

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    School was a nightmare. Mostly the learning part. I can't listen to what a teacher is saying and understand a word she is saying. They may as well be speaking a foreign language. I need pictures. I was a straight D student but could beat just about all the other kids in the spelling bee every year because my brain takes a picture of the word when I see it written. Public schools in the U.S. didn't teach to my learning style back then. Hopefully they have improved. I am 50 now so it's been a few years since I was in school.
     
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