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What was the first thing you said when you first got your diagnosis?

M

Misty Avich

I'm more ADHD than autism
V.I.P Member
While normal Aspies/autistics say things like "wonderful!" and "that answers everything!", mine was "why me?"

What was yours?
 
When I first received my ADHD diagnosis (aged 31) I smiled. When I first received my AS diagnosis (aged 8) I scowled and said "why me?" because nobody I knew at the time had it as far as I knew.
 
At age 55 I was questioned and tested by a panel of psychiatrists and psychologists. After about 3 hours they told me I was ASD2.

I said "I didn't think I was that bad." and they all just smirked at me.
 
I had 5 assessments/tests in one day. The next day back to visit was the "briefing." The lady said that very much according to all of what I answered, that I fit quite specifically on the spectrum and not aspie...decidedly Au. And my first words were... "So...you're pretty sure, then..? Son of a..."

And the next year was basically second-guessing my whole life flashing before me, etc. etc. etc. I guess, it was kind of like grieving a whole year because the fake me was dead and gone. I was not ever who I only thought I was.
 
My therapist was the one who suggested I was autistic. At first I was relieved. But then reality set in pretty quickly. When I received my actual diagnosis, I cried. It answered many questions, but the past feels like a lie and the future feels like a giant void.
 
I said "Oh. So what is that?" (I had a 1980s b.a. in psychology. I had been taught the ice mom thing. I knew I wasn't that)

After the explanation, I said "Oh. Well. What now?"

(I was in for bipolar. So there's that, too.)
 
I think it was something like: "Thank you, it's nice you agree with me." I was surprised getting the hyperactive version of ADHD too thou, I thought I was ADHD, but not hyperactive, but mostly relieved that my selfdiagnosis was more or less correct and did indeed explain my life.
 
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My diagnosis didn't feel correct even though I feel isolated and unhappy. When I first heard about ADHD when I was a teenager, I wondered why I wasn't diagnosed with that. But when I asked, the response was "well because you're shy at school."
 
i am not diagnosed, in my country i don't think they even bother diagnosing autistic adults, but when it starting clicking it could be autism, it was a relief and consolation, i had an answer why i felt different all my life, i saw it as opportunity to learn and maybe live better.
 
Misty Avich said:
My diagnosis didn't feel correct even though I feel isolated and unhappy. When I first heard about ADHD when I was a teenager, I wondered why I wasn't diagnosed with that. But when I asked, the response was "well because you're shy at school."
Click to expand...
I really hope that was a simplification in their explanation. Do you still feel they missed something?
 
I said something like: 'This confirms my own suspicion'.

I had been to a conference about autism, not that long before I got my official diagnosis, and when I heard a lecture there about lowered executive functions, it was like hearing someone talk about me.
 
I think it was something like "Oh... Really?"

Imposter kicked in again. I'd gone into the appointment expecting them to discard my suspicions.
 
Misty Avich said:
While normal Aspies/autistics say things like "wonderful!" and "that answers everything!", mine was "why me?"

What was yours?
Click to expand...
It was more thoughts of relief, that I wasn't imagining things, that this was a known condition that could be tested for. It still took about a year or two of studying the topic to have thoughts that it answered many of my questions about myself, and, in turn, allowed myself and my wife to wrap our minds around it and gain full acceptance.
 
Misty Avich said:
While normal Aspies/autistics say things like "wonderful!" and "that answers everything!", mine was "why me?"

What was yours?
Click to expand...
"That can't be right!"

As far as I knew, I was quite normal, and it was everyone else that was odd and different. The psychologist gave me a book to read, and from about the second page, I realised it was about me. By the second chapter, it was explaining who I was to me, and by the end, I realised I actually understood who I was for the first time.
 
"Well, Gerontius, it does show you are autistic but it's high functioning."

"What's that?"

"High functioning autism, same thing Steve Jobs had."

And my tech-loathing self straightup said, "I always knew something was wrong with that speckled s.o.b."

Apparently one aspect is not having a filter.
 
I wasn't interested in what this Asperger's syndrome crap was when I was first diagnosed. I just saw it as some embarrassing label with a stupid name, and fell into self-loathing that is still going on today.
 
I have not had that specific kind of situation. My therapist suggested it to me and suggested to research the topic, but his argumentation didn't really convince me. A number of people have stereotyped me as aspie in my life based on stereotypes and inaccurate understanding of my behaviour, including psychotherapists, not giving any convincing arguments and giving arguments based on their lack of logical thinking, not my emotional incompetence. Before that, two doctors have said, that I don't have Asperger's syndrome, because I don't have interpersonal deficits. On one hand, I agree with them that being different isn't a medical diagnosis and only problems need treatment. However, I wish they were more honest, as it would have helped prevented some problems - not the interpersonal ones. It has made an enormous difference for me to have a routine and be aware of sensory issues. Also it would have saved me getting terribly overstimulated to the point of barely being able to get up from bed. Perhaps many mental health proffessionals don't know much about how autism spectrum affects people other than what they call social deficits.
 
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