What to do about middle school?

[Cocogiorgiholly]

My 12 year old daughter is 2E, highly gifted and aspergers (recently diagnosed) and also has anxiety issues. In grade school she was able to get enough adaptations and supports for her sensory issues and anxiety that she excelled. Now in middle school, in a gifted program, even with her IEP she is struggling to keep afloat. It truly doesn't seem to be the level of work, as we already dropped a level of math thinking it was too much rigor but same results in the easier class, but more the structure of middle school ....the changing classes, needing to be organized, keeping track of assignments, what she is suppose to do for homework, the expectations of multiple teachers, etc.....she has some huge executive functioning issues with organization, and working memory. The school seems to be trying to work with her, but the process is so slow, and they seem to be more dealing with 1 incident at a time as opposed to the root causes (she has done everything from walking out of classes and hiding in the bathrooms, to now having meltdowns and swinging objects at teachers and being suspended) It seems everything done in grade school, as far as IEP adaptations and coping skills, which helped her grow, have all gone backwards. She is unhappy, starting to hate school, avoiding school work, escaping into video games and youtube......she says she doesn't see any point to doing school work and doesn't see any point in grades. I am starting to feel like the environment has just become so toxic for her there is no turning it around. We are just implementing some new strategies for organization which could really help, but every other time this year I have felt like we were getting on a better track, she fell further back.
Thoughts in my head are:
1)sticking with this school (which is already out of our district) even if it is not going well...perhaps the long term effects of learning how to cope and become successful after a negative experience could really benefit her later in life....
2)going in search of a new school...a new environment could either be a fresh start or just a new place/people /routines for her to learn, as well as them needing to "learn her" and cause even more anxiety
3)online/home school.....with the way our family structure is we would have a hard time doing homeschool, so an online school would be better for us, though I am really unsure if she could stay motivated enough to stay on their timelines.....none seem to be as flexible as they like to claim.....does anyone have any experience with them?
Sorry such a long post, I am really new to this. Just wondering what has worked for others or if anyone has any insight. Thanks!

 

[watersprite]

My 12 year old daughter is 2E, highly gifted and aspergers (recently diagnosed) and also has anxiety issues. In grade school she was able to get enough adaptations and supports for her sensory issues and anxiety that she excelled. Now in middle school, in a gifted program, even with her IEP she is struggling to keep afloat. It truly doesn't seem to be the level of work, as we already dropped a level of math thinking it was too much rigor but same results in the easier class, but more the structure of middle school ....the changing classes, needing to be organized, keeping track of assignments, what she is suppose to do for homework, the expectations of multiple teachers, etc.....she has some huge executive functioning issues with organization, and working memory. The school seems to be trying to work with her, but the process is so slow, and they seem to be more dealing with 1 incident at a time as opposed to the root causes (she has done everything from walking out of classes and hiding in the bathrooms, to now having meltdowns and swinging objects at teachers and being suspended) It seems everything done in grade school, as far as IEP adaptations and coping skills, which helped her grow, have all gone backwards. She is unhappy, starting to hate school, avoiding school work, escaping into video games and youtube......she says she doesn't see any point to doing school work and doesn't see any point in grades. I am starting to feel like the environment has just become so toxic for her there is no turning it around. We are just implementing some new strategies for organization which could really help, but every other time this year I have felt like we were getting on a better track, she fell further back.
Thoughts in my head are:
1)sticking with this school (which is already out of our district) even if it is not going well...perhaps the long term effects of learning how to cope and become successful after a negative experience could really benefit her later in life....
2)going in search of a new school...a new environment could either be a fresh start or just a new place/people /routines for her to learn, as well as them needing to "learn her" and cause even more anxiety
3)online/home school.....with the way our family structure is we would have a hard time doing homeschool, so an online school would be better for us, though I am really unsure if she could stay motivated enough to stay on their timelines.....none seem to be as flexible as they like to claim.....does anyone have any experience with them?
Sorry such a long post, I am really new to this. Just wondering what has worked for others or if anyone has any insight. Thanks!

It is hard to read a post if you do not separate it into shorter paragraphs.

My son is in h.s. now but middle school was similar in that his high scores and giftedness did not help his organizational skills one bit. If anything, it was more difficult due to his intense interest in many subjects.

I withdrew him and home schooled him during 7th grade and it was a hell of a lot of work and not fun for me to keep him on his assignments. (We also home schooled from 1st to 5th grade) He is now in independent study and advanced classes in high school...we'll see if he continues to succeed with his work in a timely way or not. The tests are easy for him - leading him to a false sense of ease.

My suggestion would be to print out your post, and present it to the school counselor just to see if she/he has any input or offers any assistance for your daughter's issues.

Edited to add: my son has a speech disability but does not have an Asperger's diagnosis, I have Asperger's and NVLD.

 

[Cocogiorgiholly]

I do apologize. Like I said, I am new to this and have never posted anything ever on a forum before.

Thank you for your input. I have had several meetings with the school counselor, special ed teachers, and more. It just seems at times like they address things situationally, and it takes weeks to implement new adaptations, which not all teachers follow, and daughter is still just trying to cope and get through each day, falling further and further behind.

 

[Crossbreed]

I am not sure that I know the best solution for you, but I remember junior high as being emotionally overwhelming outside of the gifted class and math/algebra. It was most noticeable in subjective classes, where group participation was expected.

Noticing the opposite sex brought my social klutziness to the fore much more than it ever did previously, as an oblivious introvert.

 

[watersprite]

If your daughter is falling way behind, then one solution is ask for her to be put into study hall where she does her homework before going home for the day. A structured and scheduled work time is best for us aspies.
Tell the school people that you and she need help now, not weeks from now. With school officials and teachers the squeaky wheel gets the grease. In other words, one must be assertive in getting help for one's offspring.
Good luck.

 

[Cocogiorgiholly]

If your daughter is falling way behind, then one solution is ask for her to be put into study hall where she does her homework before going home for the day. A structured and scheduled work time is best for us aspies.
Tell the school people that you and she need help now, not weeks from now. With school officials and teachers the squeaky wheel gets the grease. In other words, one must be assertive in getting help for one's offspring.
Good luck.

Thanks! That is what I am definitely working on doing!