1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

What should i do?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by MeatHammer, Dec 6, 2017.

  1. MeatHammer

    MeatHammer New Member

    Messages:
    13
    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2017
    Karma:
    +11
    okay so i'm not the type of person to get annoyed easily but since this won't stop it's annoying the living crap outta me! My dad asks me every time he comes over if i'm ready to drive or not and simply won't stop. Lucky for me i live with my mom "Step DAD" and sister so i don't have to listen to him go on and on. Anyways i'm 16 (i'll be 17 in FEB.) and every time my dad comes to visit me he always asks me if i'm ready to drive or not and i've told him before "NO" the reason i say no is because i just don't have a reason to drive right now. my mom, sis and "step-dad" have told him to stop asking me, but of course he doesn't listen. So instead of asking me where everyone is at he'll take me outside and ask me.... What should i do to make him stop?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 6, 2017
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
  2. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,914
    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2017
    Karma:
    +2,549
    Have you thought about why he asks you?
     
  3. MeatHammer

    MeatHammer New Member

    Messages:
    13
    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2017
    Karma:
    +11
    i asked him why he keeps asking me and he just says "Because you need to learn"
     
  4. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,860
    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Karma:
    +8,381
    He might want to just spend time with you, rather than saying it. Maybe, you should consider going out for a drive with him, just to watch him drive.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  5. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,914
    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2017
    Karma:
    +2,549
    Hes right but it is probably also a way to be a part of your life.

    Teaching your child to drive is a massive thing for fathers.

    Maybe grant him the gift.

    Remember you dont need to be 'ready' think of it as a way he can spend time with you.

    Unless of course he's a really nasty person.... then maybe not!
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Useful Useful x 1
  6. Beguiling Orbit

    Beguiling Orbit Neurotribe Champion V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    226
    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2017
    Karma:
    +359
    Would you say the relationship between the two of you is a good one? Other than this topic, is there normally good, open, relaxed communication between the two of you?

    Apparently, it's very important to him that you drive; otherwise, he wouldn't keep harping on it. My guess is that he thinks it is a rite of passage and/or a way to increase your independence. Or maybe it's something else entirely. Have you asked him why he thinks it is so important that you drive? Maybe, if it's possible to do so, give him a chance to have that conversation with you (in an unhurried, relaxed way), so you can air things out and arrive at some sort of mutual conclusion about the topic.
     
  7. MeatHammer

    MeatHammer New Member

    Messages:
    13
    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2017
    Karma:
    +11
    the thing is he started asking me if i wanna learn to drive right after my sis was in a car wreck and got hurt pretty badly and also a couple weeks before my cousin was in a wreck and unfortunately he didn't make it. And yes he knows about it too. I just don't understand why he wants to talk about it after what happened.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  8. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,334
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2015
    Karma:
    +3,824
    Sounds a bit weird. Pushy. But for me, my resistance to things increases with the pressure to do them. I'd say it would be better to do it when your ready and in relaxed circumstances, and maybe with a different instructor. Does your Dad know your an Aspie?
     
  9. Warmheart

    Warmheart Something nerdy this way comes Staff Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,406
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2014
    Karma:
    +7,276
    Most people need to drive.
    Most people don’t get hurt/die in car wrecks.
    Maybe looking at “the big picture” will help you overcome your anxiety.

    This is an opportunity for freedom. It is an opportunity to be more autonomous. It is a chance to take matters in your life, more into your own hands. Empowerment.

    A life of having wheels feels better than calling up the Dial-a-Ride each time you’ll need groceries, to go to the doctor, or want to go someplace.

    What a great opportunity to move right past any anxiety about driving by spending time with your Dad who loves you.
    Win-win situation! :)
     
    • Like Like x 2
  10. Ambi

    Ambi Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    865
    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2016
    Karma:
    +1,410
    This is the kind of situation where I would finally lose my patience and blow up and tell him in great detail why he needed to stop asking OR I would tell him to shut up. Either way, I would then be accused of being hurtful and rude. So.....no useful advice from me :-( I don't know why people won't just take the hint!
     
  11. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    352
    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2017
    Karma:
    +471
    I love driving, wouldn't be without my car unless I absolutely could not medically drive, you get the idea...

    However... Increasingly many young people are choosing not to drive, sometimes not even to ever get a drivers license, whether they are asperger's or not, simply a lifestyle choice they make... One good friend of mine, aged 40, gets around by bike and doesn't own a car, more of a choice he's made...

    Your dad grew up in era when pretty much everybody got a drivers license as soon as they could, I still choose to drive, but you shouldn't feel pressured, not sure how to deal with your dad and his pressure on you...