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What should i do?

MeatHammer

MeatHammer

New Member
okay so i'm not the type of person to get annoyed easily but since this won't stop it's annoying the living crap outta me! My dad asks me every time he comes over if i'm ready to drive or not and simply won't stop. Lucky for me i live with my mom "Step DAD" and sister so i don't have to listen to him go on and on. Anyways i'm 16 (i'll be 17 in FEB.) and every time my dad comes to visit me he always asks me if i'm ready to drive or not and i've told him before "NO" the reason i say no is because i just don't have a reason to drive right now. my mom, sis and "step-dad" have told him to stop asking me, but of course he doesn't listen. So instead of asking me where everyone is at he'll take me outside and ask me.... What should i do to make him stop?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
MeatHammer said:
okay so i'm not the type of person to get annoyed easily but since this won't stop it's annoying the living crap outta me! My dad asks me every time he comes over if i'm ready to drive or not and simply won't stop. Lucky for me i live with my mom "Step DAD" and sister so i don't have to listen to him go on and on. Anyways i'm 16 (i'll be 17 in FEB.) and every time my dad comes to visit me he always asks me if i'm ready to drive or not and i've told him before "NO" the reason i say no is because i just don't have a reason to drive right now. my mom, sis and "step-dad" have told him to stop asking me, but of course he doesn't listen. So instead of asking me where everyone is at he'll take me outside and ask me.... What should i do to make him stop?
Click to expand...

Have you thought about why he asks you?
 
He might want to just spend time with you, rather than saying it. Maybe, you should consider going out for a drive with him, just to watch him drive.
 
MeatHammer said:
i asked him why he keeps asking me and he just says "Because you need to learn"
Click to expand...

Hes right but it is probably also a way to be a part of your life.

Teaching your child to drive is a massive thing for fathers.

Maybe grant him the gift.

Remember you dont need to be 'ready' think of it as a way he can spend time with you.

Unless of course he's a really nasty person.... then maybe not!
 
Would you say the relationship between the two of you is a good one? Other than this topic, is there normally good, open, relaxed communication between the two of you?

Apparently, it's very important to him that you drive; otherwise, he wouldn't keep harping on it. My guess is that he thinks it is a rite of passage and/or a way to increase your independence. Or maybe it's something else entirely. Have you asked him why he thinks it is so important that you drive? Maybe, if it's possible to do so, give him a chance to have that conversation with you (in an unhurried, relaxed way), so you can air things out and arrive at some sort of mutual conclusion about the topic.
 
the thing is he started asking me if i wanna learn to drive right after my sis was in a car wreck and got hurt pretty badly and also a couple weeks before my cousin was in a wreck and unfortunately he didn't make it. And yes he knows about it too. I just don't understand why he wants to talk about it after what happened.
 
Sounds a bit weird. Pushy. But for me, my resistance to things increases with the pressure to do them. I'd say it would be better to do it when your ready and in relaxed circumstances, and maybe with a different instructor. Does your Dad know your an Aspie?
 
Most people need to drive.
Most people don’t get hurt/die in car wrecks.
Maybe looking at “the big picture” will help you overcome your anxiety.

This is an opportunity for freedom. It is an opportunity to be more autonomous. It is a chance to take matters in your life, more into your own hands. Empowerment.

A life of having wheels feels better than calling up the Dial-a-Ride each time you’ll need groceries, to go to the doctor, or want to go someplace.

What a great opportunity to move right past any anxiety about driving by spending time with your Dad who loves you.
Win-win situation! :)
 
This is the kind of situation where I would finally lose my patience and blow up and tell him in great detail why he needed to stop asking OR I would tell him to shut up. Either way, I would then be accused of being hurtful and rude. So.....no useful advice from me :-( I don't know why people won't just take the hint!
 
MeatHammer said:
okay so i'm not the type of person to get annoyed easily but since this won't stop it's annoying the living crap outta me! My dad asks me every time he comes over if i'm ready to drive or not and simply won't stop. Lucky for me i live with my mom "Step DAD" and sister so i don't have to listen to him go on and on. Anyways i'm 16 (i'll be 17 in FEB.) and every time my dad comes to visit me he always asks me if i'm ready to drive or not and i've told him before "NO" the reason i say no is because i just don't have a reason to drive right now. my mom, sis and "step-dad" have told him to stop asking me, but of course he doesn't listen. So instead of asking me where everyone is at he'll take me outside and ask me.... What should i do to make him stop?
Click to expand...

I love driving, wouldn't be without my car unless I absolutely could not medically drive, you get the idea...

However... Increasingly many young people are choosing not to drive, sometimes not even to ever get a drivers license, whether they are asperger's or not, simply a lifestyle choice they make... One good friend of mine, aged 40, gets around by bike and doesn't own a car, more of a choice he's made...

Your dad grew up in era when pretty much everybody got a drivers license as soon as they could, I still choose to drive, but you shouldn't feel pressured, not sure how to deal with your dad and his pressure on you...
 
I really wish my parents had allowed me to learn to drive back in college rather than just assuming I would have the time, money and energy to do it as an adult. I love cars, but still don't have a UK license. And once you start going out to work full time, fitting in lessons is far more difficult. You don't need to buy a car just because you pass, so you could take lessons and do your test now and wait several years before actually getting a car.
 
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