What prevented you from accepting your autism?

[Slime_Punk]

Probably unintentional societal gaslighting. Even I've been guilty of it, so the manipulation runs deep and can seemingly affect anybody

 

[Magna]

Probably unintentional societal gaslighting. Even I've been guilty of it, so the manipulation runs deep and can seemingly affect anybody

This is a great point to bring up. I've been guilty of the same thing myself. I noticed this about myself when I've watched Youtube vids from several different high functioning autistic women who have their own channels and I've found myself thinking: "No one would know you're autistic based on how you present. You seem like someone I'd just think is boring, irritating, self-involved and/or work to be around." <<< I know that kind of thinking is wrong but I'm admitting that I've thought those things sometimes.

 

[UberScout]

People from Dallas, NC. NOBODY there believes in autism or being clinically depressed or any kind of mental affliction at all. The whole time i was trapped there i had people telling me "you're not really autistic" and "that's just something somebody made up and your stupid birth father told you". My evil aunt dorothy had me so horribly confused and messed up in the head. My uncle didn't make it any better.

I just hate society. The only people i will ever trust are you guys, my sister and my true parents: my mother and Maddog; though he be fickle, he still be my father.

 

[Judge]

Pure, raw denial and little else.

Yet who kept after me to eventually face my neurological reality head-on?

- Me.

 

[Au Naturel]

I think that the OP meant accepting it as an accurate diagnosis --and not something else-- rather than accepting having it.

I think I knew instantly it was accurate because it explained things.

I think that the OP meant accepting it as an accurate diagnosis --and not something else-- rather than accepting having it.

For me, at least, there is no difference. YMMV.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I was able to accept my diagnosis because it let me know that while I did have Asperger’s, my behavior wasn’t out of the ordinary for someone on the spectrum like adults had all thought. They deemed me as being emotionally disturbed and immature which wasn’t exactly true. I was emotionally disturbed because of the bullying and the fact that I didn’t know how to express my emotions in a healthy way because my mind wanted to have fits whenever I got upset. It also explained why I had so much trouble in certain classes and had certain interests other kids didn’t have.

 

[mysterionz]

Ppl thinking it’s okay to self diagnose (not referring to ppl that self suspect they’re neurodivergent and go from there in a sensible way) for internet clout/mocking the struggles actually neurodivergent ppl go thru/ppl refusing to accept anything but neurotypical as normal

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

IF you really want to view the world, look at it through the lens of quantum field theory, everything then starts to make since. people's behavior, everything.

 

[Crossbreed]

I always fear being mistaken as a freeloader if I try to seek any accomodations.

BTDT. It pushed my politics more toward center, though I am still right of center.

 

[Marmonduke]

Have you accepted it now?

I think I have.

It took me a long time, but i did. It was always a "hall of shame" title that i had since i was bullied. Only reason why i did recently is because of a friend that i confessed to and the that same friend accepted me for it. So that actually made me feel less denial and more accepting of myself because my friend was kind

 

[Rodafina]

It took me a long time, but i did.

I think it gets better once we accept… it’s worth the effort to understand. I’m new to it (accepting), over 40 years into my life. I have really enjoyed how much it explains so many things. If you have the right framework for understanding things, knowing comes much easier.

I think you will find much more kindness and acceptance among people who are willing to understand and value you. I hope you feel worthy and deserving of that.

It was always a "hall of shame" title that i had since i was bullied.

Yeah, bullying is stupid. Bullying is not right. Whoever is doing that to you should not do that and it sucks.

So that actually made me feel less denial and more accepting of myself because my friend was kind

Yay. The most important kind. If you tend to your own self acceptance and keep it strong, you can overcome the bullies in your own way. Pride can crumble the hall of shame and turn it into a quiet and anonymous pass down whatever kind of road you like where no one is looking or paying attention except those that are friends.

 

[Luca]

Societal stigma/gaslighting, like others have said, and stigma from medical professionals and educators, misinformation (there was a point where I thought all autistic people were nonverbal), being told that my autism made everything my fault and I deserved what was happening to me, extreme bullying and abuse, and the fact that having the autism diagnosis made it take half my life to get adopted and out of the system of institutional child abuse. I was diagnosed very young, which did honestly make things harder growing up.

There are still people that very much doubt that I'm autistic so I do question it sometimes, but I don't think there's another explanation for why I'm the way I am. I don't feel ashamed, flawed, or stigmatized anymore though, if I did, I wouldn't be on here posting about it every day. If anything, I'm glad I know about it because it's helped me connect with people who have become very essential to maintaining my sanity and not feeling so alone and miserable.

 

[Luca]

Probably unintentional societal gaslighting. Even I've been guilty of it, so the manipulation runs deep and can seemingly affect anybody

Yeah, the societal gaslighting is a serious, serious problem. I hate to admit this, but until I was at least a teenager I was convinced that autism was an intellectual disability, and it had always been suggested to me that autistic people couldn't speak and were mentally babies or toddlers, and had only the most basic and infantile social skills. The movies that people showed to me, to explain my autism to me, only reinforced this and made it worse. So naturally I was in denial for years.
I hate that I believed that, and I obviously know now that it's completely untrue.

The majority of the people I have met (on here and in real life) who have told me that they are diagnosed with autism, I would have never believed were autistic based on the false tropes that were pushed to me as a child.
I also fully understand now that "nonverbal" does not mean "doesn't know how to speak." I sometimes feel like I can't be verbal either, if a person or situation is causing me overwhelming anxiety.

The way autism is represented in media and educational content is really disgusting and offensive. Something needs to be done about that, because it's only making us bigger targets for bullies and abusers and corrupt educators/medical professionals.

 

[MildredHubble]

I haven't been formally diagnosed but I'm quite sure my brain isn't wired like most people I know. It wasn't until a YouTube video on autism auto played one day while I was tidying up so just let it play.

I kinda wondered why the algorithm picked it for me. But I started noticing that a lot of what the guy said was very familiar. I also regularly talked to some people with ASD on discord and noticed we had some similar issues and traits.

I had a bit of a distorted perception of autism. I suspect this was because of my mother's weird behaviour. I've mentioned it before, she used to come and tell me that playing video games would "make you autistic" and a few other warped things like that. The way she described autism was something akin to the Rain Man movie. So I always thought "Nah that's not me".

I strongly suspect that perhaps a well meaning teacher at school had suggested I might be "on the spectrum" and my mother's response was her usual irrational nonsense. She seems to think pretending a problem doesn't exist is the same as solving it.

She certainly was rather irrational about the possibility I could be Dyslexic, preferring to let me struggle academically etc. I got tested at 26 years old and found out that not only was I in fact dyslexic, I had an IQ score in the top 2%. I had spent most of my life thinking I was really rather stupid until that point. She had always lied, telling me I had already been tested and accused me of attention seeking.

Well, a few months ago I tried answering some reputable online tests and I do seem to consistently get results skewed to the autistic side. I think if my perception of autism hadn't been distorted to the point where I thought the only kind of autism that existed was the profound type, the penny might have dropped sooner.

I have certainly accepted that I'm not neuro-typical. I don't think it's just that I'm dyslexic. Learning more about ASD feels like quite a lot of things have come into sharper focus concerning difficulties and experiences I've had throughout my life. So to me it feels quite probable I could be mildly autistic.

 

[Kit]

My mom.

 

[TheName]

I didn't know I have it?

 

[Crossbreed]

I was convinced that autism was an intellectual disability, and it had always been suggested to me that autistic people couldn't speak and were mentally babies or toddlers, and had only the most basic and infantile social skills.

That animal exists, but it is not true of all non-verbals.

 

[Outdated]

When I was growing up we'd never heard of things like autism, I was just the weird kid. I probably could have received a little bit of help even back then except my father was an aspiring politician and having a child with mental problems wasn't very fashionable.

Lots of people said I had problems but I disagreed. From my point of view it was everyone else that had a problem, not me. I wasn't just smarter than all the other kids in school, I was smarter than most of the teachers. And better educated. When people were determined to "fix" me and make me "be normal" I took great delight in showing how mentally impoverished they were.

I started to figure out that I was autistic 30 years before I got a diagnosis. When I did get a diagnosis I not only accepted it, I embraced it. It gave me vindication and validation for my entire life.

 

[Streetwise]

45 years! of being inferred as a hypochondriac, then having to cope with a change, nearly 7 years on its still not quite accepted

 

[Streetwise]

. I hate to admit this, but until I was at least a teenager I was convinced that autism was an intellectual disability, and it had always been suggested to me that autistic people couldn't speak and were mentally babies or toddlers, and had only the most basic and infantile social skills. The movies that people showed to me, to explain my autism to me, only reinforced this and made it worse. So naturally I was in denial for years.

I was the same because i never interacted in a regular intimate way with others who were autistic still learning but thats autism always learning sigh