what is your stim?

[rolo]

I seem to have added another sound to my stimming menagerie-as well as wolves and various primates I have just made some kind of prehistoric bird sound- I had a hyper earlier after a meltdown due to trying for hours to put photos on this site-the computer usually is the final straw when my stress levels have built over a period of days-I see the red mist and used to break stuff-printers , laptop, and mobiles usually got the brunt of it-since diagnosis I am saving money by not breaking stuff but seem to making more sounds. For a long time I thought I was mad and felt immensely ashamed and embarrassed after the event- very few people have actually physically witnessed me in full chorus but have heard me and were scared and very freaked out. I also make sounds when I have become over excited or confused-they well up inside me and I am compelled to let go lest I explode. I seem to internalize all my stress and very rarely shout at other people and am never violent to others. Mostly I can control myself by staying calm-today I knew time was up- it was like the calm before the storm. Does anyone out there do anything similar.I know this is a hard one to own but if you can't be honest here, where else can you be.

 

[2010Dolby]

I have two: My private one and my public one. In private I play with my hair. It's so weird, I know...

In public I won't do that so I smoke cigarettes. A lot. It's something to do with my hands and it's socially acceptable. It doesn't make me seem weird, but it's much too costly and unhealthy.

 

[rolo]

Thanks 2010 Dolby -just to say that I do not act out in public in the same way-these are rare outbursts of energy-I was hoping for more input on this thread-it took a lot of steel for me to post it-There are the regulars who have much to say on a multitude of topics on a daily basis-perhaps I have overstepped the mark here and frightened you all off. A positive aspect of my Aspergers (even though most in the neurotypical world do not appreciate it ) is my honesty-By staying away from the less attractive aspects of the spectrum ,it only fuels the negativity that is leveled at us on a daily basis.Am I to believe that I am the only one out there that presents such behaviour?come on guys help me out!

 

[Cerulean]

Oh you're far from alone, but this thread hasn't been up for very long

When I'm alone I'm quite the hand flapper, I also have some items on my desk that I can squeeze or touch. At home I like to put things on myself, I don't have a weighted blanket but sometimes I'll just put my laptop on my lap or I'll sleep with a pillow between myself and the covers, so it kind of presses into my torso.

In public there are a lot of little things I'll do with my hands that are almost imperceptible, like if my hands are flat-ish on a desk I'll put pressure on my fingertips the way I would if I was typing what I'm saying. I also find it relaxing to count things or look at patterns. I learned sometime in elementary school that hand flapping isn't something everyone does, so I'm careful to keep my stims to a minimum while others are around.

The other day I was waiting in line to get into an event, and the person in front of my husband and myself was already drunk and getting belligerent with security. I didn't have any way to calm myself down as I felt my anxiety and heart rate rising, and after the confrontation was over my husband looked at me and was surprised that my whole neck and chest area had gone red and blotchy. So apparently if I'm unable to satisfy these needs you can see it on me. Awesome.

 

[rolo]

Thanks for the post CeruleanThis color blue was in your honor-special thanks go out to Kelly

 

[Kelly]

In public my stims are concealed, I wear jackets etc with large pockets so I can do my hand patterns, I sometimes flap my arms up and down(like I'm trying to fly) when I'm bored or nervous, I also rock on my heels sometimes. Other then that I don't do anything publicly (my eye twitches sometimes but that is when I'm under alot of stress and can't do my noises because I'm outside), I am trying not to be so a worried about stimming in public and it's been quite a relief to just openly do my hand patterns.

At home (or in the car) my main stim is noises and words, also known as echolalia. I will shout out random words, phrases or noises, I tend to get stuck on certain words and phrases and say them over and over again all day. Currently I shout out Gay, coffee & car alot those have been common ones for years but I've been saying them more lately. Sometimes I will say a whole sentence that seems unrelated to what I'm doing or talking about, such as a few nights ago I blurted out "We'll let you know then", no idea where that came from. 90% of the time these words and phrases are said in a very high pitched cartoon like voice. I do sometimes just make noises, like clicking and stuff but I tend to say things more then anything. I also do my hand patterns more at home, shake my legs, flap my arms, chew on my lip, play with my piercings and just fidget in general.

 

[Cerulean]

Kelly you reminded me about the lip chewing! I've been doing that for about 15 years and when I was at home it drove my family nuts. I can not stop tearing it up. Sometimes I'll use my fingernails (I'm a big hand washer so it's not as gross as it sounds) to pick little pieces off. Gosh even typing it sounds gross. It's the best stim I've found for when I need some sort of stimulation while I'm using my hands for other things, or when I'm in public it looks less strange than the flapping.

 

[Loomis]

I did not think I had stims but now I am not so sure. Sometimes I will sing dumb songs. I have a terrible voice. There are maybe five or six I chose from. Home on the range. I am working on the railroad. This annoyed my family and they would ask me to stop and I would; I never would do this among strangers or outside my house. Sometimes I will twiddle my thumbs or bounce my leg up and down when sitting. I also will say unusual words aloud in my car when I am alone like "maggot". Right now I am laying down with the keyboard in my lap and I am wiggling my toes. I thought I did not have stims because I never did any hand flapping or other actions that branded me as different.

My question to all of you aspies is: Are these stims? I am thinking yes.

 

[Cerulean]

To me the difference between my stims and the little habits I just like to do is whether or not I feel the need to do them. Like sometimes when I'm bored I'll bounce my leg around but if it's bothering someone I have no problem stopping and it doesn't affect my mental state at all. Opposite that, when I try to resist the urge to flap my hands I get really antsy until I can do some other physical thing to take the place, kind of like a pressure valve.

 

[Kelly]

Kelly you reminded me about the lip chewing! I've been doing that for about 15 years and when I was at home it drove my family nuts. I can not stop tearing it up. Sometimes I'll use my fingernails (I'm a big hand washer so it's not as gross as it sounds) to pick little pieces off. Gosh even typing it sounds gross. It's the best stim I've found for when I need some sort of stimulation while I'm using my hands for other things, or when I'm in public it looks less strange than the flapping.

Oh I pull bits off with my fingers too, when I've chewed alot and then there is one little bit that is kinda hanging or sticking up and I can't bite it off I pull it off with my fingers.

My question to all of you aspies is: Are these stims? I am thinking yes.

I'd say yes they are, but I'm not a professional so don't take my word for it

 

[rolo]

Here's one that I usually say when getting into my car at shopping centers-feel free to laugh- quite loudly I exclaim "would you like to make love to me?"-the looks I get when that one pops out are priceless-I must have got that from a movie but can't remember which.
the other thing I do is speak my pin number at the till-it's a no no on both counts:unsure:

 

[Cerulean]

LOL rolo that's awesome, just about choked on my cereal

 

[Obi]

I just found out what 'stimming' is... and man, do I have a few of those. There is a major one that I only just realised I have done almost non-stop every day of my waking life for as long as I can remember. I tense the muscles in my toes, buttocks and jaw in often pretty complex rhythmic patterns. It's so subtle; no one knows I'm doing it, and I can even forget I am most of the time. But I often become aware that I am, and have been doing it for ages. Then I just forget, but I can't ever stop. I was wondering if it's a weird way of keeping track of my whole body: bottom, middle and top! :dance:

 

[Cerulean]

I just found out what 'stimming' is... and man, do I have a few of those. There is a major one that I only just realised I have done almost non-stop every day of my waking life for as long as I can remember. I tense the muscles in my toes, buttocks and jaw in often pretty complex rhythmic patterns. It's so subtle; no one knows I'm doing it, and I can even forget I am most of the time. But I often become aware that I am, and have been doing it for ages. Then I just forget, but I can't ever stop. I was wondering if it's a weird way of keeping track of my whole body: bottom, middle and top! :dance:

Heh I do something like that with my toes when I see certain things when I'm the passenger in a car. Like I'll use it to keep track of what the yellow line is doing or how many telephone poles I pass.

 

[Soup]

My 'stim of the day' for today is right toes on the floor leg shaking. My right leg is has been jiggling away all evening.

 

[Arashi222]

Ok so I started to catalog them because I have a co-worker that is really sweet and she notices these things we started to keep track of all my stims so so far. I move my fingers over my thumb as if I am typing or playing piano but its a repetitive moment, rocking, slapping my head and or pulling on my hair hard but not pulling it out just playing with it, I also claw my face but not hard enough to leave permanent marks just hard enough to leave red streaks, and the latest one is sliding my front teeth over my bottom lip until I make it sore.

 

[rolo]

Ok so I started to catalog them because I have a co-worker that is really sweet and she notices these things we started to keep track of all my stims so so far. I move my fingers over my thumb as if I am typing or playing piano but its a repetitive moment, rocking, slapping my head and or pulling on my hair hard but not pulling it out just playing with it, I also claw my face but not hard enough to leave permanent marks just hard enough to leave red streaks, and the latest one is sliding my front teeth over my bottom lip until I make it sore.

Hi Arasshi-some of your stims appear to be almost punishing in action-you appear to actually hurt yourself with them i.e clawing your face,slapping your head and biting till it hurtsThe fact that you do this at work is even more worrying.

 

[Arashi222]

@Rolo: I only do some of them at work I don't slap my head at work and I usually don't claw my face at work either. They are not punishing they don't hurt. I don't hurt myself at all except for the lip thing which I am paying attention to and trying to find something else to do instead. Why would it be worrying? I stim like a lot of people, I do tend to keep thigns low key at work but my friend and I were doing it for fun to catalog them so not all of them are things I do at work some I do at home. I often play with my hair at work instead of slapping my head. I thank you for your concern I think. But I am not hurting myself. Like I said I don't actually do anything until it hurts except for the lip thing and that I have been working on stopping.

 

[Gomendosi]

From what she has said in another similar thread found here, I don't think Arashi222 is actually punishing herself, to my thinking it is more like a person that locks their keys in the car and smacks their forehead a few times or the person that becomes exasperated at something and rakes their fingers down their face (admittedly I have seen this done only in film and TV).

Some of the more strenuous stims have been talked about in that other thread (see link above), but I know I have worried about the level of my own stims and as such, started a thread of my own asking if self harm could be a possible accompaniment to stimming or actual stimming itself. For anyone interested, that thread can be found here.

 

[rolo]

@Rolo: I only do some of them at work I don't slap my head at work and I usually don't claw my face at work either. They are not punishing they don't hurt. I don't hurt myself at all except for the lip thing which I am paying attention to and trying to find something else to do instead. Why would it be worrying? I stim like a lot of people, I do tend to keep thigns low key at work but my friend and I were doing it for fun to catalog them so not all of them are things I do at work some I do at home. I often play with my hair at work instead of slapping my head. I thank you for your concern I think. But I am not hurting myself. Like I said I don't actually do anything until it hurts except for the lip thing and that I have been working on stopping.

Arashi- I have read your post again and looked at what Gemendosi has written-some of my stims, had I ever done them at work, would have gotten me instantly fired-sadly they always found other reasons to let me go in the end though-I certainly did not mean to cause you any offense-I merely looked at a pattern and commented on it-some stims are passive in nature others can seem to be a little more aggressive in their outcomes-as long as you do not hurt yourself there would be little cause for concern. some of my behaviours in the past were definately on the self harm scale-just to reiterate I am in no way trying to press your buttons or deliberately cause you upset-if for some reason you find my posts irritating or offensive I will of course cease to communicate- just because we are all on the spectrum does not mean we will necessarily agree or get on-character clashes occur in our world just as in the neurotypical world.

I noticed you Used @Rolo- was that a form of annoyance? as in talking at someone rather than to them or even having a go at someone? I am not down with the nuances of computer chatting /forum and do not get all the subtleties