Wow your story is really uplifting. May I ask what do you believe in now? You don't have to tell me if your uncomfortable sharing or you can PM me if you want to keep it private.
I'm ask cuz I'm still searching my truth.
Wow thanks. I don't have "my" truth either... I needed something NO MAN can touch or degrade actually (including myself). I have no need to hide it. I just will never force it on anyone, or usually even mention it unless asked. Its basically the oldest belief system known to mankind that I spent years digging for. Its been hidden and mocked and even made "evil" by people who use religions as governing ways to gain power over other people, mostly using guilt. Its so simple and I don't even know if it has a real name.
It can only be found in bits an pieces (for someone like me) and "Intuition" is basically how I pieced what I could back together. A lot of people like to call it "Law of Attraction" but that is just a tiny often very misleading part of a much larger Universal construct.
A construct that has the same governing principles that not only govern the Universe as a whole, but right down to the smallest subatomic particle in a single cell in our body, or a rock, or flower, etc. Its not a religion. Its not a belief. Its an eternal KNOWING and once it clicks (though I know not much at all) IT CLICKS... and its eternal and its right now, and it makes LIFE not near the secret mystery people deem it to be.
Every Holy Book has bits and pieces of it. Jesus taught lots of it, as did Buddha. Its in the Tao, even in the Quran and many more... So in that you know its more real than anything. This also makes you have a reverence for anyones beliefs. As far as going somewhere to "learn it"... Its never going to be taught from a pulpit because it makes the churches position useless and powerless instantly.
Many people see it as "mysticism" and worse because it is so different than what we have been force fed for so long.
There are a few of us on here who kind of have found these same things on our own. It has to be looked for, it will not just land in your lap and I think searching for it, is the only way it should be found.
I'm not sure if anyone has an exact name for it either (maybe Universalism, but not in the regard to Christianity so much). It is still centered on an evolving creation, and there is a SOURCE, GOD, ALL THAT IS, (whatever you wish to call it) but we are living part of that source and we are experiencing every example of LIFE there is in the contrast to find where we want to reside in those Universal constructs, laws, agreements, rules (whatever you wish to call them).
So many people see us as just a body with a "soul" that needs to be saved... We are already eternal beings, in just one of countless temporary bodies. Once you get that, LIFE and death become something with a very different meaning. We are here NOT in search of how much junk we can acquire, but how much Universal wisdom we can place into this temporary existence that will elevate us in our next journey. Sometimes we hit the mark, sometimes we stumble, sometimes LIFE equations shut us out early...
One hint I can give you... Two of my modern hero's: Albert Einstein, and Nicola Tesla, figured this out and I nearly KNOW with all my heart this is where the unthinkable wisdom they possessed came from. Nearly every deeply wise person I have studied has links to this KNOWING... Learning how to use it... I'm still working on that.
I'm sort of possibly derailing a post so I need to stop and we can carry this on somewhere else if you want. I can go on with this for who knows how long. : )