"What do you do for a living?"

[Chair]

.

 

[Emor]

Most people my age don't have jobs and its rare for them to have one, so it'd be weird to ask because the odds are silly, unless you want them to ramble on about jobs for the next 30 minutes :/. You can't ask someone a question without having a giant conversation about it -.-.
With adults I know generally online I don't really care tbh. If they talk about their job I won't be hesitant to ask, but it's just something that I don't care about.
I wouldn't be offended or w.e if someone did ask me when I'm older, I think. IDK though.
Same with bra sizes unless I was insecure. Only if I was unemployed or w.e would I find it awkward (Y).
EMZ=]

 

[Kit]

I ask because I am curious and I am trying to have a conversation.

 

[Sipe]

Hmmm... It might be stupid in many situations because of those reasons you just told. But asking that is a good way to open a conversation. So I don`t think its always "stupid". More like unnecessary or useless.

There are many English praises I find plain stupid tho.
For example;some person wants to know what time is it and asks me

Idiot: Do you have the time?

Me: How the hell can I HAVE (own) time?


Example 2.

Idiot2: Give my love to Dave!

Me: What kind of love? And how? By hugging him? Kissing him? Or for Buddhas sake by giving him a blowjob? And besides, Dave is an asshole so I don`t think he deserves any love, so **** him.


Example 3.

Idiot3: Ah, I would be more than happy to do that.

Me: How can you be "more than happy"?


A few examples. All these thoughts are from George Carlin by the way.

 

[Ruby_Aspergic]

It's not arbitrary at all. It gives people an idea of your interests and what kind of stuff you spend your time doing all day, it spurs conversation, and it can present an opportunity to network-- which is EXTREMELY important. People ask because they actually are curious. Yes, they do care. It's not necessarily about money, it just can give you a lot of clues about what someone is interested in and what they like to do if you know what profession they chose for themselves, it's easy to gain a lot of information from that one question. It's also polite, because it gives the person a chance to talk about themselves and what they do, and you are displaying interest in them and their lives-- something I know we struggle with, but you have to remember NTs dont necessarily. Just because you see no value in small talk doesn't mean the rest of the world doesn't. It is enjoyable and useful to other people. You also have to remember that when people ask you this question, they are likely trying to do you a courtesy by including you in conversation rather than just talking at you. They are trying to get to know you. That is nice of them.

Some people ask to judge you but in general it is an incredibly benign question. You can always vaguely answer with your industry if you feel you are being judged, or if you are unemployed or on disability you can always say you are between jobs. I like to ask because talking about work is a fun and extremely easy way to get to know someone, and as a young professional it is critically important that I establish business connections. Sometimes when you run into someone in the same industry as you, you can make friends, too. It's something to have in common. And the older you get, the harder it is to sit and have a conversation with a complete stranger about how much you love AC/DC. Work isn't considered by most of society to be a particularly personal thing. Actual salary numbers, yes, but industry? No way. It's totally okay if you feel it is, but if you want people to try and understand you it's only fair you try and understand them, too.

 

[krisi]

It can give you an idea of what their interests are, and give them the chance to talk about something that they may be passionate about, or at least know a lot about. Asking what someone does for a living gives them the chance to be the the expert. Even if they do something like making envelopes in a factory (something I did for 3 years), there are interesting things to talk about regarding the tasks required and the processes that go into what they do. They call it "unskilled labor" (and that term also is applied to foodservice and custodial work), but I think that's a totally inaccurate term. It takes a lot of on-the-job training to acquire the skills necessary to perform any job, and that learning process is interesting. Plus, asking that question opens up a window for any amusing anecdotes that person has about their job. I have quite a few from every single place I've worked: A burger-and-ice cream joint, an envelope factory, a children's museum, a daycare/preschool, and one-on-one therapy (the little girl I work with tried to feed me the other day!). People like to talk about what they do to someone who does not necessarily do the same thing.

 

[Carl Carter]

I think a lot of folk ask that question in a judgemental way; to gauge your class/status etc. It does irritate me no end when someone asks "what do you do?" I'm unemployed and my response invariably leads to the follow up question "what sort of work are you looking for?" which is even more presumptuos and annoying. More often than not when I reply that I'm not looking for employment the person asking makes an automtic judgement: lazy benefits scrounger. People are generally stupid and pointless. Next time someone asks me what I do for a living I'm gonna say "answer stupid questions".

 

[Chris]

Hmm, that sucks.

Depends. One day when I have a success story to tell, I'll happily answer as many times as people care to ask. :lol:

 

[superboyian]

Hmm, that sucks.

Depends. One day when I have a success story to tell, I'll happily answer as many times as people care to ask. :lol:

Even if they repeatedly ask you the same question? Because me, I would somehow build a answer machine to do my job for me. :lol:

 

[Chris]

I'll carry a batch of pre-printed leaflets detailing my success. B)

 

[superboyian]

I'll carry a batch of pre-printed leaflets detailing my success. B)

Ahh... that should do the quick trick. :lol:

 

[Chris]

Or hire a small Chinese boy to walk by my side with it tattooed down the length of his back.

The creative juices are flowing now. :lol:

 

[Carl Carter]

I'll carry a batch of pre-printed leaflets detailing my success. B)

Lol, that reminds me of a tactic I used to use in Rock City: I went in a Michael Myers mask one Halloween and realised no one would be able to hear me speak, so I determined all the likely questions I might ask others and the questions they might ask me and wrote out dozens of little cards to cover every likely scenario. Worked out rather well Of course I did have to drink through the neck hole in the mask, which freaked a few folks out lol.

 

[Krazie243]

So, two Apsies meet at some arbitrary location:

"Hi, how are you?"
--"I don't care, I'm not in pain. You?"
"My mood is not at any extreme. So where do you work?"
--"A typical 9-5 waste of my time doing tech support. You?"
"I throw 1/3rd of my daily weekday routine away filing reports. I wish I was the boss."
--"Why aren't you the boss?"
"'Cause it takes years of kissing someone's arse to get there. What about you?"
--"My boss has more responsibilities that me, I'll just tolerate my 9-5's and appreciate the time after work more."
"Cool, what kinds of things are you interested in?"
--"Math and Computers stuff, ya know, I'm a bit of a techie."
"Ah, I find that boring."
--"Really? So what do you find fun?"
"Business and politics."
--"Guess we have nothing in common, nice meeting you!"
"Yeah it was a pleasurable waste of 5 minutes."

Exit person 1, Exit person 2. Honestly, I have to agree with the OP - about 80% of this conversation could have been eliminated by discussing hobbies and interests first. And if for some dumb reason the conversation went on longer than this, we've just saved ourselves a load of unnecessarily poorly used time. Yup, I'm one of those Aspies. I hate doing dumb, redundant things - like talking to people about things that won't have any effect on the future. Asking where a person works is a means to find out what they are like, but why not just ask them what they are like right off the bat:

"Hey there, what kind of person are you?"
--"I dunno, I'm into Math and Computers, I'm a bit of a techie."
"Cool, I'm not into that, I'm more of a Business and Politics kinda guy."
--"That's nice. Well you have a great day!"
"Thanks, you too!"

Exit person 1, Exit person 2. So much less time wasted. To be honest, I think opening with "What kind of person are you" is far cooler than asking them where they work. =)

 

[spastigirl]

It's not arbitrary at all. It gives people an idea of your interests and what kind of stuff you spend your time doing all day, it spurs conversation, and it can present an opportunity to network-- which is EXTREMELY important. People ask because they actually are curious. Yes, they do care. It's not necessarily about money, it just can give you a lot of clues about what someone is interested in and what they like to do if you know what profession they chose for themselves, it's easy to gain a lot of information from that one question. It's also polite, because it gives the person a chance to talk about themselves and what they do, and you are displaying interest in them and their lives-- something I know we struggle with, but you have to remember NTs dont necessarily. Just because you see no value in small talk doesn't mean the rest of the world doesn't. It is enjoyable and useful to other people. You also have to remember that when people ask you this question, they are likely trying to do you a courtesy by including you in conversation rather than just talking at you. They are trying to get to know you. That is nice of them.

Some people ask to judge you but in general it is an incredibly benign question. You can always vaguely answer with your industry if you feel you are being judged, or if you are unemployed or on disability you can always say you are between jobs.

This response really irritates me. I have spent 45 years on this planet with nothing to show for it in those terms. It's not 'incredibly benign' if it sets some people outside what's considered to be normal human experience before they've even started trying to play the social game.

As for what I'm interested in -- that shows in what I choose to do, and maybe in what I've tried and failed to do as work, but I don't appreciate having my implied failures dragged instantly to light, as happens all too often at NT social events (at Aspie events I don't bristle because I don't feel judged in the same way). What's my industry? I've tried and failed at audiotyping, office work, and library work. I'm not even interested in any of those except library work. It's not a neutral question for me.

As for what I'm good at, the one talent I have is passing verbally oriented IQ tests without even trying (149 when recently tested) because I have a measurable talent with using words accurately and precisely. Everything else brings out my tendency to make mistakes.

As for what I've done with my life, I've written my autobiography with some fluent ability in using words (according to the few who've read it). At last I feel entitled to live on this planet because I've finished a project and it's out there.

Why should I be pushed to measure myself in a race where I've tried, and failed, and tried, and failed, and tried, and failed, again and again over the years until I dropped out of the bottom of the job market due to age and incompetence? Why should this be the business of the most casual acquaintance at a pub or a party, before they judge me on any other aspect of my life?

Yes, this did catch me on the raw. I'm not over-sensitive, it's more that it's always the first thing people ask and it puts me in a false position instantly as I have to try to find a socially-acceptable way of saying I'm a complete failure in real terms but it doesn't bother me too much, I just get on with my life.

Learning to become a slightly-more-socially-adept Aspie, I can now answer the question with more grace in skimming over the awkward bits, but it still annoys me.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I'm a grumpy nurse. Duh.

 

[The Penguin]

I am a software developer in the process to start a business.

 

[Harrison]

I'm a recovery patrol tech cruising the motorways helping folk when it all goes wrong. Breakdowns, accidents and stuff.

 

[indigogrl1979]

I never worked...

 

[Etzelaire]

My parents pay my living and I pay my transport, education and extra expenses by teaching tennis on sundays.