What did you just say, and those issues of living together.......

[Dagan]

I will be living alone with my daughter again...is the remedy. It's a civil decision, but there still seems to be petty social media posts here and there. I see it as attention seeking, "woe is me" and such postings. Passive-aggressive, basically, but it's annoying and insulting, too. I can and will let it all go. I can handle it. It's just still a bit of a jab that irks me some. All good things in time, so they say.

It's for the best. I need the hard reset, recharge and recomposing myself - back to my old, true self. I really felt like I was another person the last month or so. I was forcing myself to tolerate what I really couldn't stand. Financially, I will actually be better off and save money. My utilities doubled over this past Summer. That should have never been the case. It takes a lot to double water, electricity and gas bills...but sure enough....those fools did it. Ugh.

I admittedly do have my issues, maybe too high of standards and/or boundaries and/or even expectations...but I swear that I feel like I just "need" baseline things. Granted, my parents both grew up in military households, and therefore between either house I was in, mom or dad, either grandparents, either aunts or uncles, I was still in military households. I think I would have taken to structure, order and cleanliness, anyway, of course, but they were quite particular and expected things to be as such, too. Anything less per where I personally live...and I'm going to eventually just lose my comfort and not want to be there or around said folks. Some people can handle a kind of clutter and mess about their homes. That's them, though. I don't live there, and when it bugs me that I visit such a place, "I'm out" as soon as I can be. ----- My problems with these folks went quite beyond just this. Disrespect occurred in several forms.

Thinking more about it all, I think I flat out dissociated the past couple of weeks, aside from just the autistic shutdown goings on (which, I really, really try not to ever do). I got overwhelmed and felt trapped inside myself to where I couldn't talk for about 48 hours. I wasn't trying to stonewall or anything. I seriously felt locked up inside my own head. There have been other stressful events, as well, so that didn't help much. I won't go into those other things because this will wind up being a novella in length. Let's just say that I still prevailed to be a rock for family as needed - they know that I don't "breakdown" like most folks - I can power on...grind it out...stay machine-like in hardest of times. I didn't feel like anyone asking things of me was taking advantage, though. "I understood the assignment" if you will.

Dang, this still came out to a lengthy post. Oops. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

 

[Aspychata]

You came thru. l think we are extremely resilient , not sure if it's part of being asd. Sounds like change is happening finally.

 

[Dagan]

The worst part is likely still to come. Thankfully, from long ago when things went sideways really bad with a relationship, I learned to keep everything - texts, emails, voice mails, etc. I have everything I need to stave off any of the pretentious know it all crowd who champion those butthurt and claiming wrongful victim status. Ugh. I don't want to deal with this BS, but I'm ready. Crappy Holidays! Haha.

 

[Aspychata]

Drowning in BS can be a tough ride thru the holidays. l am slugging thru mounds of BS in general, and it has been an ongoing process. Part of the situation is l need to move, but home prices have taken a nosedive, and l need to time the RE market, which means probably next year as houses/condo prices are still dropping as of today.

 

[Dagan]

Same. I'm after acreage - more trees than yard (just enough yard for doggies) - little-to-no light pollution because I want to see every star possible. Granted, once I have this, I will probably film found footage movies that I have written and shelved for years, haha. All year, I had a pretty solid plan, but it just kept going sideways. The solid part is that it would have been on my income alone, so being back single doesn't sidetrack this goal. The economy and such is the sidetracking part.

Update otherwise: "...this house is clean." I'm free and feel incredible relief. It took a few wild turns, still, but they are out and gone. I do want to talk about the details of it all, but it's more for a therapist or direct messages.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I’m much happier on my own.

 

[Outdated]

I’m much happier on my own.

I was still in my 20s when I worked out that living with other people just isn't good for me. I had plenty of girlfriends since then and even a few longer term relationships but the idea of living together is not one I'm prepared to entertain.