What can I say to Aspie BF if he doesn’t believe he has AS?

[Elsbett]

Is there any aspect of AS that, if mentioned, rises curiosity towards the condition?

 

[Ereth]

It doesn't work like that. You can't force him to accept it, even if you suspect he has ASD. Ultimately, he has to realize it on his own.

 

[King_Oni]

Trying to make him see he has AS by telling him something that should trigger him to take action, makes it sound like you want him to confirm he has AS. However, it does not change a thing. There is no miracle cure. One of the main reasons why people might confirm they have AS and get diagnosed is for legal reasons. Surely some do it for personal closure... but even that is highly personal and I doubt it should be forced as such.

 

[Waltsingmatilda]

I agree with both King-Oni and Ereth, "You can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink". Like most things that are personal, the first step is to realise this differences yourself or be aware of some one who is so similar to you that you cant deny it. The great thing about Aspergers is that it doesnt matter whether the person is diagnosed or not, if you love them it wont matter.

 

[sylvia1111]

I was told to leave articles around that he might read and slowly realise and become more open

A specialised counsellor could assess him without him realising its re Aspergers

You can talk to him about traits in some people without mentioning Aspergers if like my close friend they hate any mention of Aspergers

The more gentle you are about talking about any topic the better response you will get . I find I talk very softly gently lovingly to get best responses but my close friend also won't acknowledge or discuss so its best to talk about traits if some people without mentioning Aspergers

 

[Effy]

It's a really personal thing. Honestly, if he has it, it's up to him and him only, and it's not going to change anything.

With sylvia1111's suggestion regarding speaking to a specialist, I know in the US it's illegal for specialists to do that to non-minors. And really, if someone did that to me, I'd get pissed off and they wouldn't be in my life anymore.

There are so many things in the world. Maybe it's not AS and it's just his personality. I do believe that that is how it is for some people.

But I feel like oftentimes that NTs try to find excuses for why their SO acts a certain way and wind up resorting to AS... it's more than what is on the outside and what one displays. Hopefully you've worked it out by now, but if not... maybe just let it go? It's up to him to realize it/acknowledge it/consider it/etc. We're not robots, thus there is no ON button to "trigger" our personal Aspie awareness.

(Like, people would often get mad at me for not accepting/realizing I have Bipolar Disorder... but I DON'T have it, and I have been tested for it three [separate] times. I found it and still find it very insulting when people continue to push it on me, especially when they don't know the story. Maybe you don't know the full story. )