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What areas of life are your biggest challenges?

Southern Discomfort

Southern Discomfort

Smarter than the Average Bear
V.I.P Member
The happiest poll showed that the vast majority of us were very unhappy with our lives. So what do you find are your biggest challenges in your life?

Strangely enough I think my social skills aren't too bad, I have quirks and I balls up every now and then but I think I've got them nailed down quite well for someone on the spectrum.
Where I struggle the most is executive functioning. I'm now 25, I live with my parents still and I've yet to do the rite of passage of learning to drive a car and start my career. Like the outside world, I find the process to start these things to be extremely difficult and confusing, I also lack the motivation to start these things and instead prefer to retreat in my comfort zones. Because of these difficulties you can imagine I struggle daily with depression and anxiety, along with very low self esteem and confidence.

I'm getting help to overcome these things but it doesn't feel like it's happening at a pace I'd like, I guess I want to make up for lost time.
 
Social skills equal acting skills, at least for me.

The worst thing in my life is social stress. I have social dyslexia, but it's as though I have/have had Stockholm Syndrome, the only subtlety I can read is threats. And I probably read threats into many things that aren't.
 
Dating. I can always keep a job, I drive. I used to live alone but now I have a roommate because it's financially convenient. But I suck at dating and I'm afraid I'm going to be alone forever.
 
Executive functioning on the macro level. I can do all of the little chores in life, but organizing my daily activities into something productive has proven more elusive.

Anxiety and depression are also major issues for me.
 
peoplesrjames said:
But I suck at dating and I'm afraid I'm going to be alone forever.
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I'm no good at dating either, so I have been prone to stick to people who really aren't right for me because of the fear of dating, which has lead to me being bad at relationships.

I'm no good at advocating for myself, so I have put up with a lot of things that other people would take some steps to change.

Thinking about it, most of the things that challenge me are social in nature. I have a lot of skills, talents and knowledge, but I really struggle with "selling myself", I avoid taking chances, so I keep at the same old job where I can keep my head down, work at my own pace, and quietly use my skills.
 
Social communication, definitely. I have no social life, not that I need or want one, but I wouldn't be able to have one if I tried. But I feel incredibly trapped within myself. I can't articulate myself properly. Speech isn't something that comes naturally to me. My typing is more fluent but it can take me days to figure out sometimes. Which is why I like the draft feature - can keep adding thoughts. But it's incredibly frustrating for me when I want to say something but can't get the words together. I really can't explain myself and I get frustrated so much with this. I haven't been able to get a job because of this.

I go blank under pressure - my mind just stops, there's nothing there, not knowing what to expect throws me off. I am pretty dependent on knowing what's going to happen. I can deal with a change in routine if I'm told in advance and know what's happening. Sudden and I'll panic. I guess this comes under restricted repetitive. I do have other restrictive repetitive but it doesn't impair me as much as other parts - I can stop interests if I need to eat, but sometimes I can get so deep into it I forget to eat, for example, but it's not any worse than that so it doesn't come close to social communication in impairment. Or maybe it's impaired imagination, as I can't imagine what can happen. I have no idea. I am likely to be extremely anxious in unfamiliar situations, whether this is impaired imagination of restricted repetitive I don't know.

Sensory also is a big challenge. It's really hard to go anywhere because everything is too loud.

Just... autism in general, I wish I didn't have it, I'm thankful I only have Asperger's and not a severe form because this is enough already. I want to do something useful in life which is hard when you're trapped within yourself, overwhelmed by normal parts of life, and freak out in unexpected situations.
 
unsurewhattoname said:
I can stop interests if I need to eat, but sometimes I can get so deep into it I forget to eat.
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I've done this too! Yeah, it's whatever you're most engrossed in just takes complete priority over the basic things like eating, it's weird. For me it's just playing computer games and "forgetting" I'm hungry. Strange!
 
Southern Discomfort said:
I've done this too! Yeah, it's whatever you're most engrossed in just takes complete priority over the basic things like eating, it's weird. For me it's just playing computer games and "forgetting" I'm hungry. Strange!
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I have a hard time telling I'm hungry unless my stomach is growling. I remember to eat by eating at the same times. So if my routine gets disrupted or if I'm so deep into obsessing that I forget to watch the time it's how it happens. I've been stable at healthy weight my entire life so it doesn't cause any impairments to me or anything, just something that occasionally happens. I have both under eaten from forgetting and over eaten from not watching what I'm doing - my mum gave me this huge bag of nuts, ate right through it, was not good. So I weigh stuff usually and don't eat snacks. Works for me. If it was just this I would be absolutely fine.
 
Right now, it feels like going to sleep is the worst. But sometimes it isn't as bad. But right now it is absurd. And since I haven't had a real meal since dinner time, I am hungry and that is making me even more wakeful.
 
unsurewhattoname said:
So if my routine gets disrupted or if I'm so deep into obsessing that I forget to watch the time it's how it happens. I've been stable at healthy weight my entire life so it doesn't cause any impairments to me or anything, just something that occasionally happens.
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Ah, I'm a little different, I'm underweight because of it. I weigh something like 8 stone. I remember breakfast as it's part of my routine in the morning and I need it to take medication. Lunch on the other hand is something I forget quite a lot. I much prefer the feeling of an empty stomach than a full one so that doesn't help either.
It's good to find someone else who shares the same experience, it tells me that my obsession with computer games is a special interest and not an "addiction".
 
Southern Discomfort said:
Ah, I'm a little different, I'm underweight because of it. I weigh something like 8 stone. I remember breakfast as it's part of my routine in the morning and I need it to take medication. Lunch on the other hand is something I forget quite a lot. I much prefer the feeling of an empty stomach than a full one so that doesn't help either.
It's good to find someone else who shares the same experience, it tells me that my obsession with computer games is a special interest and not an "addiction".
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Had to convert to stone as I only know my weight in kilograms, but I am also 8 stone but that's healthy for my height (or lack of it). I never eat breakfast, only lunch at 11:30 and dinner at 20:00.

And yeah, me too. Full stomach I feel horribly sick, empty I don't notice and doesn't bother me much if I do.

It's not computer games, just research really. Like at the moment I've been categorising eyes which is strange considering I can't look people in the eyes but whatever. Maybe I'll post in the obsession forum about it - made my own system for some reason, wasn't satisfied with simply "green", "blue", and "brown" so I've over-complicated it which is fun. I've also been obsessed with the day length as the shortest day was a couple of days ago. How the sun is only up for 7 and a bit hours, and how low an angle it's at. I go back to obsessing in summer, too, for it never reaches night for almost 3 entire months - just in twilight, with no dawn or dusk. I spend all day doing this, and can forget that I am a living being. But it has been computer games in the past, and no it's not an addiction.
 
unsurewhattoname said:
Like at the moment I've been categorising eyes which is strange considering I can't look people in the eyes but whatever. Maybe I'll post in the obsession forum about it - made my own system for some reason, wasn't satisfied with simply "green", "blue", and "brown" so I've over-complicated it which is fun.
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That sounds kinda cool and I would like to see it.
 
Dealing with people in charge, especially ones who make bad or illogical decisions. Lots of this at work. I'm trying to be more NT in these situations, smile and shut up.
 
Manuheleku said:
Dealing with people in charge, especially ones who make bad or illogical decisions. Lots of this at work. I'm trying to be more NT in these situations, smile and shut up.
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One of my biggest challenges has always been working with others. Like you, I have always been uncomfortable with authority figures. I have trouble understanding verbal instructions. When working with others I have trouble jumping in to help. I worked as an HVAC helper for awhile and had even been to school for it, but when I got out in the working world I was unable to succeed because I could never show my coworkers that I knew my stuff.

Thankfully the second job I had as a service tech for Pepsi, I didn't have to work with others often. My boss handed me the keys to a van and a stack of service calls and said "go get it."

I have been self employed since 1997 and could never go back to a real job.
 
Dating and developing romantic relationships are very hard for me . I have always been amazed at how some things I can do so easily and effortlessly but am inept at relationships . I just dropped 30 pounds in only a few months and did it quite easily but trying to get a date ????
 
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Social communication, especially in groups. Not being able to join in, always having to struggle against my tendency to revert to my natural state of withdrawing into myself and not speaking. Not being able to pick up on people's moods and emotions, not knowing how people are going to react or what people are thinking and feeling, and all the anxiety this causes. Difficulties with noise and other distractions when socialising, working or talking to people. The tiredness that the socialising and resulting anxiety causes. Constant feeling of being inadequate. Depression.
 
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