went bowling

[Rainbowpride]

Me , my husband and two young family members went bowling today ...its a Saturday here ...cant take the young family members bowling any other day as there in school during the week and they do dance class on a Sunday
got there and it was so busy ...kids screaming , music blaring , ball going down lanes and balls hitting pins
it was so loud ...we where there for an hour tops and i kept counting 1...2...3...1...2...3...1...2...3... i tried not to show i that i was being effected by the people in the room and the sounds because i didnt want to ruin the kids day so i kept its quiet
but near the end it got too much for me so i started to have a meltdown , my husband tried to calm me down but it was just too much and we had to leave people giving me funny looks while i was having a melt down
i ruined the kids day because of the fact i cant control myself

never doing that again ... my husband said i did well to stay there for that long
now am home with my husband and the kids
But i am worried about another family member who is mentally ill at the moment but will not get help that she needs
i cant get her off my mind 4 years ago another family member was mental ill and he went missing and ending up killing himself
am scared that if the family member who is ill at the moment dont get help she will end up killing herself
the family member was meant to be at work today but she didn't go in if she isnt here tomorrow she will be fired
she risks losing her house ( mortgage flat )

i feel tired but i know because of whata going on with the family will not help my anxitety.

 

[G. Brett Arnold]

In regards to the bowling experience, I know exactly how you feel. I have to really manage my public exposure to new locations. It can be extremely overwhelming and if I overdue it I break down bad.