Want re-assessing for aspgers, can't cope with demands of life

[Gift2humanity]

Hello
Hope I am not a time waster. I am in the UK
I have had two asperger's tests one in 2006 and one in 2015, I stupidly used drugs at the time of both interviews.
I taught myself to read as a toddler but gave up because my Dad was narcissistic and his approval was more important.
I can sing perfect pitch.
I cant recognise faces I am face blind.
I lost the letter from 2015 telling me that I did not have Aspergers but GP emailed me a copy to day.
It says I can socially function and have empathy, but I don't.
I was on poly drugs when doing the interviews with the autism assessor and alcohol.
I used drugs to cope with difficult life socially.
I am useless socially bullied, no friends, abused but not blaming anyone its the choices I made.
I cannot cope with the demands of being a neurotypical, but I don't know if I will be allowed a third one.
The letter says I have social imagination, good gestures and eye contact but I think this is because I was high when I was interviewed.
Trouble holding jobs down and exopoited and vulnerable.
I rock back and forth and move different parts of my body repeatedly, this was not asked in the interview.
It says I don't have rituals, I live in chaos cos of depression due to major property issues in my life. I am tapering off valium was on 75mg now on 28.
The prescription is prescribed but it started as illicit.
I wasn't asked loads of questions in the interview.
It says I don't have special interests but I did have peculiar special interests, now I am obsessed with my flat as it is leasehold and private and has major problems and that has taken over.
I repeatedly play boring computer games.
I don't know what I will do if they refuse to asses me or if they give me do and give me a diagnosis of non Aspergers as I just cannot cope trying to be a neuro typical.
I can draw photo realistically.
I can sing perfect pictch.
I have a strabismus like a lot of Aspergers
I am clumsy.
I was not thinking straight when I got assessed in 2015, the valium I am on is not affecting me, I take no other drugs I don't drink and for the first time in my life I am seeing myself for who I really am.
What will I do if I fail to get a diagnosis, I am 53?
Hope someone can help.
Thanks for reading.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

What exactly is it you want help with?

 

[Gift2humanity]

What exactly is it you want help with?

I need a diagnosis, my meltdowns are getting dangerous frankly, but the assessors letter says he thinks I am empathic and socially adept (not his words), it was the drugs, I have no empathy.
The letter mentions my mum's impression of me as a child and that is congruent with Aspergers.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Really worried because reading through letter from assessor, he wrote that my ex support worker felt that I was reasonable skilled on picking up her emotions from her body language and facial expressions alone. IT says my mum felt I couldn't, I am worried that these so called skills are going to damn my chances of reassessment and diagnosis.
I was on drugs when I was with support worker, large doses of pregabalin, it felt like ecstasy and ecstasy hid my inability to pick up on peoples emotions.
Females also mask social deficits.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

If you want a diagnostic assessment you will have to ask your GP for a referral.

 

[Gift2humanity]

If you want a diagnostic assessment you will have to ask your GP for a referral.

My psychiatrist is writing to the people who assessed me. I am just worried because the letter from my original aspire assessment suggests I am not Aspergers as he thinks I have social imagination and am empathic, yet all the things my mum says suggest that I am.
The support worker who came with me said she thought I was skilled at gauging her emotions from body language and facial expression alone, this really worries me as the assessor thinks I am good at eye contact and gestures, but I think it was because I was high on drugs.
Women mask Aspergers.
My meltdowns are becoming dangerous frankly, I am worried for my safety.

 

[Thinx]

Have you been told you would get any useful help if you were diagnosed with ASD1/Aspergers? Just wondering why you want this specifically?

You seem fairly certain you are in the category, so bearing in mind that diagnosis is ultimately an opinion, and that it's fairly common for people, especially women, to be misdiagnosed, could you assume that you are, whatever the official opinion?

It's really good that you are making progress with addiction, that should help you cope too, and is a huge achievement.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Have you been told you would get any useful help if you were diagnosed with ASD1/Aspergers? Just wondering why you want this specifically?

You seem fairly certain you are in the category, so bearing in mind that diagnosis is ultimately an opinion, and that it's fairly common for people, especially women, to be misdiagnosed, could you assume that you are, whatever the official opinion?

It's really good that you are making progress with addiction, that should help you cope too, and is a huge achievement.

I want it because as more has been known about aspirers I am sure I have it.
I feel a fraud coming on here undiagnosed and it also makes me sad.
I want it because I cannot meet the demands of being a neurotypical, I Can't cope with socialising and people get irritated with me because I cant cope with vague communication.
People would get less annoyed with me if they knew I had aspirers as it would enable me to explain why I am the way I am.
I feel too much is expected of me so if I could tell people I am aspie they would understand more.
One guy was blunt with me and I was pi$$ed off with him until someone told me he was Aspie and now I don't resent him or think he is rude.
PS my stress levels are so high, my meltdowns are really getting dangeours
I used to put red marks on my arms with my teeth, but now I have scarred them by biting chunks of flesh.
I bang my head on hard walls.
The psychiatric services know this, they want to discharge me and said they are prepared to take the risk of me having a dangerous meltdown and injuring myself seriously.

 

[Thinx]

I see what you mean, but I am not sure whether it works out the way you hope, because a lot of people don't understand what Aspergers is, or make allowances for it.

What do you find helps for your meltdowns? Are you getting help or support for these?

I hope you get the diagnosis that you want, but it is a bit of a lottery, so you may not. But that does not stop you posting here, and finding out about how others cope and their strategies. Plenty on here are not diagnosed.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I see what you mean, but I am not sure whether it works out the way you hope, because a lot of people don't understand what Aspergers is, or make allowances for it.

What do you find helps for your meltdowns? Are you getting help or support for these?

I hope you get the diagnosis that you want, but it is a bit of a lottery, so you may not. But that does not stop you posting here, and finding out about how others cope and their strategies. Plenty on here are not diagnosed.

I am getting no help for meltdowns.
I ave been offered meds but don't want any more toxins in my body while detoxing.
I think prevention is best cure for meltdowns but I cannot remove the triggers as my flat is the trigger for my meltdowns, legal and structural problems that there is no solution in sight for.
I am generally worried for my safety,I told my CPN but they are still on about discharging me.
I may be made homeless and will be forced to interact with people on the street, if the structure of this flat worsens. Its Leasehold which is a pain in the neck, lease breached, building regs breached planing regs breached, leaks made by old owner, building owner saying I may be held liable and family may inherit if I die.
I am not suicidal but in a meltdown I become indifferent when I bang my head, I think F*** it, I might as well go the whole hog and make a total mess of my life as my gifts and talents have to waste.

 

[Matthias]

I am getting no help for meltdowns.
I ave been offered meds but don't want any more toxins in my body while detoxing.
I think prevention is best cure for meltdowns but I cannot remove the triggers as my flat is the trigger for my meltdowns, legal and structural problems that there is no solution in sight for.
I am generally worried for my safety,I told my CPN but they are still on about discharging me.
I may be made homeless and will be forced to interact with people on the street, if the structure of this flat worsens. Its Leasehold which is a pain in the neck, lease breached, building regs breached planing regs breached, leaks made by old owner, building owner saying I may be held liable and family may inherit if I die.
I am not suicidal but in a meltdown I become indifferent when I bang my head, I think F*** it, I might as well go the whole hog and make a total mess of my life as my gifts and talents have to waste.

I wish you luck on getting help for the things you mentioned. In the meantime, you don't have to rely on other people. It's possible to help yourself a little. If you can't change something, the only thing you can do is change how you think about it.

I created a guide that I think you may find helpful. The title says it's about social interaction but it's mostly about emotions and how to deal with them. Why social interactions are stressful

 

[Thinx]

This sounds very difficult for you. Have you got legal advice, or help from citizens advice, or could family or friends assist? Can the flat be repaired? Perhaps there are others in the building with similar problems, if it's structural. It sounds very tough for you.

 

[Gift2humanity]

This sounds very difficult for you. Have you got legal advice, or help from citizens advice, or could family or friends assist? Can the flat be repaired? Perhaps there are others in the building with similar problems, if it's structural. It sounds very tough for you.

Worried flat beyond repair. It leaks and smells damp. Building owner refusing to look at it saying no evidence but also saying holding me liable if problems develop in future. I am terrified that the flat is unsaleable.
I don't have any friends or family who can help.
I tried to message my sister but she hasn't resonded. Solicior told me they would inherit the flat as I am not fit to make will, the lease has 83 years left on it so it could be a nightmare for my future generations.

 

[Thinx]

I expect you have got an opinion from a plumber or other experts about leaks? Leaks do need to be sorted out, and it depends what's causing them, it varies whether repairs are expensive, but it sounds like you think it's perhaps coming from another flat? Otherwise it's probably up to you to get a plumber to sort it out, unfortunately. I hope you can get some help with this, I know this can be stressful.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I expect you have got an opinion from a plumber or other experts about leaks? Leaks do need to be sorted out, and it depends what's causing them, it varies whether repairs are expensive, but it sounds like you think it's perhaps coming from another flat? Otherwise it's probably up to you to get a plumber to sort it out, unfortunately. I hope you can get some help with this, I know this can be stressful.

It's the roof, old owner created leak so up to me if roof collapses. Building owner say no evidence of leak but smell musty smell each time it rains or if humid, so its getting worse, smell between my floor and ceiling of flat below, getting worse, yeah its very stressful but I don't want to burden you with it as I've hit a bit of a brick wall with it, as in building owner refusing to acknowledge leaks yet if sh!t hits fan and roof caves in I am liable and liability can pass onto family when I die.

 

[menander]

Being officially dxes helps many people. It can help someone see themselves differently.

I would encourage you to get an very complete neuropsychiatric assessment. Tell them of your early troubles. Early markers are very important. Seeing you are older, try very hard to get any info on if you had developmental delays. Every behavior of an autistic can have a differential diagnosis.

 

[unperson]

Talk to a tenants advice service about your housing situation, I'm not familiar with 100 year leases and who pays for repairs there, if you feel you were tricked into signing a disadvantageous contract, you might need to go to court to get out of it, or have the contract reassessed for fairness/legality.

Try not to worry too much about the dx, everyone finds it stressful. You can always appeal.

 

[Thinx]

I would definitely get a roofer to investigate, if the roof is your responsibility you don't have to go through the leaseholder/owner, and if you are being refused access to investigate, it will be their responsibility, not yours. Living with smells sounds very unpleasant, maybe call in the council about this, for advice?

This does sound a priority, because as you say, it's triggering meltdowns, and causing stress. Sorry you are up against all this, at least you can come here and let off steam, that may help.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Talk to a tenants advice service about your housing situation, I'm not familiar with 100 year leases and who pays for repairs there, if you feel you were tricked into signing a disadvantageous contract, you might need to go to court to get out of it, or have the contract reassessed for fairness/legality.

Try not to worry too much about the dx, everyone finds it stressful. You can always appeal.

Hi Thanks
I wasn't tricked into buying it.
Leasehold advisory service say I have inherited old owners problems.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I would definitely get a roofer to investigate, if the roof is your responsibility you don't have to go through the leaseholder/owner, and if you are being refused access to investigate, it will be their responsibility, not yours. Living with smells sounds very unpleasant, maybe call in the council about this, for advice?

This does sound a priority, because as you say, it's triggering meltdowns, and causing stress. Sorry you are up against all this, at least you can come here and let off steam, that may help.

I'm not allowed to get my own roofer and Lease office refuse to investigate more, as water not coming through but soaking through wood.
They said if future problems, as old owner caused them or my contractor, it could be my liability.
There is just nothing I can do.
Council cant eforce as work done more than 12mohts ago.