Using other peoples' names in conversation

[Gracey]

Making a formal introduction (introducing two people known to me but not to each other)

On meeting an old acquaintance after a number of years. (Someone I recognise from school or various jobs) - more as a validation of their meaning to me in the form of a social nicety.

I won't have even thought about them over the years but in an unavoidable 'meeting' and having made some eye contact it seems compulsory.

...if I can't remember their name, there's a chance I'll remember who they were friendly with in school and will ask about one of their friends (whilst smiling)


Intimate situations.


To motivate.


It's their given identity/label/name from birth.

 

[Streetwise]

I heard a quote once that goes something like: "Using someone else's name is the sweetest music you can play to their ears." What it was referring to was using other peoples' names in conversation with them, as in "You're right, Stacy" as opposed to just saying "You're right."

Now, I know that's correct socially, but in a one-on-one conversation with "Stacy", it feels incredibly clunky and expositional. I mean, who else am I talking to? Doubly so if there's nobody else even within earshot.

So when people say "Hi, Gritches" I just say "Hi", instead of "Hi, Stacy". I know I should use their name, but it feels weird. Is this a thing? Does anyone know exactly what social rules govern using someone else's name? I want to start doing it, but I can't really afford the trial-and-error I've used to figure out social rules up to this point.

Think it depends on who you want to tell ,but I think if there are there more than a few people you should add their name on the end .

 

[Chance]

I heard a quote once that goes something like: "Using someone else's name is the sweetest music you can play to their ears." What it was referring to was using other peoples' names in conversation with them, as in "You're right, Stacy" as opposed to just saying "You're right."

Now, I know that's correct socially, but in a one-on-one conversation with "Stacy", it feels incredibly clunky and expositional. I mean, who else am I talking to? Doubly so if there's nobody else even within earshot.

So when people say "Hi, Gritches" I just say "Hi", instead of "Hi, Stacy". I know I should use their name, but it feels weird. Is this a thing? Does anyone know exactly what social rules govern using someone else's name? I want to start doing it, but I can't really afford the trial-and-error I've used to figure out social rules up to this point.

I will only say a persons name to let them know I'm am speaking to them if there are other people around... But maybe sometimes not even then.

One of my counselors used to over use my name a lot and I felt that it was sort of fake... Maybe the wrong word. Maybe just weird. I know who I am and no one else is around so... ? Whats up with saying my name so much? I do know who I am and I'm not stupid and maybe thats where it sort of doesn't sit well within me.

So in turn I do not want to make others feel that weird feeling I get, so I simply skip the name thing a lot, if possible.

 

[TheBigElectron]

I've learned that in general, other people like it when I use their name when talking to them. It makes me uncomfortable when they do it to me, though.

 

[Progster]

It makes me feel uncomfortable when people use my name, too, unless they are saying to catch my attention. Too intimate.

 

[stringer]

Interesting topic. I had never even thought about before coming across this thread, but I realise now that I very rarely use people's names when talking with them. It would feel very awkward, to me, to use someone's name except in a circumstance where there was ambiguity about whom I was addressing.

This has set me wondering if there is a significant correlation between not addressing people by name, and having asperger's or ASD. I've never seen it documented before as being one of the traits, but thinking about it now it would seem to make sense. Along with being uncomfortable with eye contact, touching, hugging, etc., it is maybe another manifestation of a desire to keep people, emotionally, at a distance?

 

[WereBear]

It's true: I use a person's name in conversation if I want to show fondness. So faking it is like any other kinds of fake fondness.

 

[Lula1989]

I have never felt that I had to say someone's name, but I lack social etiquette ha. I only say their names if I need their direct attention within a group, or if I need something from them, but see they are focused on their computer. Names are more an attention grabber than a nicety for me.

 

[Benjamin Dover]

Based on my experience, my name would only get said back to me when a person of authority had an issue with me. And if it was my parents, then the proper first name and full middle name gets used.

The only time I use names is when there's more than one person in the room, and I'm trying to get the attention of someone specific.

So, I associate trouble with name use. That, or humor, such as when Rick keeps using Morty's name while talking to him. It's a comedy crutch.

 

[SchrodingersMeerkat]

You mean in a conversation that's just two people? Reminds me of this cartoon I saw on YouTube where an Air Force officer is interviewing an alien and asks the alien its name. The alien says it doesn't have one. Then the officer asks the alien how he's going to talk to it and the alien looks around then says: "I'm the only other one in the room. When you speak, I'm going to assume it's to me. You guys aren't very bright are you?"

 

[Fitzo]

I think if someone says ' Hi Fitzo', they expect me to use their name also in response. Only problem is I have always struggled to remember people's names, so often just say 'hi' which sounds kind of lame to me. Worse I tend to say 'hi how are you' which must sound weird to them because hardly anyone ever responds. Also I seem to be really bad at introducing myself, because they often have to ask even after they've told me their name. It frustrates me that even after all these years I can't seem to apply the right protocol to basic conversation!

 

[Lula1989]

I heard a quote once that goes something like: "Using someone else's name is the sweetest music you can play to their ears." What it was referring to was using other peoples' names in conversation with them, as in "You're right, Stacy" as opposed to just saying "You're right."

Now, I know that's correct socially, but in a one-on-one conversation with "Stacy", it feels incredibly clunky and expositional. I mean, who else am I talking to? Doubly so if there's nobody else even within earshot.

So when people say "Hi, Gritches" I just say "Hi", instead of "Hi, Stacy". I know I should use their name, but it feels weird. Is this a thing? Does anyone know exactly what social rules govern using someone else's name? I want to start doing it, but I can't really afford the trial-and-error I've used to figure out social rules up to this point.

Found this interesting as I was reading the 'Emotional Intelligence 2.0' book today. I am lacking in understanding people's emotions and how to manage my relationships, so the first strategy to work on in order to be aware of others feelings are to greet those by name. You can see in my attachment the first page in that section is about names.

I recommend this book to everyone! The assessment tells you which area of EI (EQ) you are weak in, then gives you 3 strategies to work on to improve those.

 

[Flammie91]

Hey Doge , see its not hard.