Unlearning the myths I used to believe about people...

[Fridgemagnetman]

Really like that saying, first time I've seen it written. Applies to some people I used to know, it's perfect

Kind of 'other peoples problems are none of my business' that I occasionally use
But have now found something better!

 

[DuckRabbit]

There is much in the December 2017 thread 'How do you handle humiliations?' that is relevant to this one ('Unlearning the myths I used to believe about people...') - about how niceness can be less effective with NTs than hard-nosedness. And what a shock this can be to Aspergers to realise this - that others can have such a different set of values and response-cues. NTs are usually responding to the social status of the person rather than their words or actions. This is why there can be a kind of 'learned helplessness' after a while in Aspergers whereby whatever they do they cannot earn the approval or affection, let alone respect, of other people. Sooner or later they have to renounce the group and go it alone, living by their own code.

How do you handle humiliations?
Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by JDartistic, Dec 3, 2017.

#31 - DuckRabbit
Often it isn't a nicety that wins favour from NTs but rather a F-Y attitude. If a nicety can attract opprobrium from NTs, efforts at self-defence and self-assertiveness can often make things ten times worse. However, paradoxically, it ...

#33 - DuckRabbit
Sadly a F-Y attitude can be more effective with NTs than niceness. 'We can't make them like us but we can make them respect us'. But a F-Y attitude usually goes against the (internalising) Asperger grain - it takes some effort to ...

#38 - DuckRabbit
I just think a F-Y attitude widens the Asperger response repertoire. See my post: Forgiving Oneself It's also good to save oneself from the shock and bafflement when niceness and good intentions don't have the desired effect (as argued ...

 

[SusanLR]

Explain please

Definition from Say Froggy Jump!? :
"When he says jump, you'd better jump" - "When he says frog, you'd better jump." Another version is, "When he says jump, you'd better ask how high." (And I suppose there are people out there stretching it still further with, "When he says frog, you'd better ask how high.")