That’s beautiful & beautiful knitting
@Gift2humanity .
I finished the book,
The Body Keeps The Score, last night.
Thank you, I am scared to read that.
I tried being present and am too fragmented due to complex trauma. I felt like my mind was annoyingly verbalising everything instead of directly experiencing it, in the psychedelics used to allow me to.
I then tried somatic experiencing, I had read this before and was keen, however my body was too numbed out to show me any feelings I could work with.
I then tried internal family systems and got to know some parts of me. These parts are stubborn and protective of the more vulnerable parts, yet they mean well. While they mean well, they are blocking me from experiencing parts of myself that need work.
This has, to be honest, lead me to a state of despair.
I feel like I am existing but not living.
I live in a nice place but can not fully experience it because of all the mental chatter.
We are also lucky enough here, to have a walk in arts centre where musicians, artists, poets etc can hang out, they put on shows.
I love it, it gives me distraction but I only go when I can put my problems aside as it’s a positive place and I do not want to lower the vibration there.