Toxic parent HELP

[Aspychata]

Do you want to talk about some struggles you are encountering? You may get some great advice. Some parents cope with what they think is out of control by sedation. Sadly - there are parents who don't think twice about this instead of sitting down with teenager and talking thru things. There are cases of this happening to even younger kids. It's wrong.

 

[Judge]

Without any significant details, there's not much in the way of practical advice much of anyone can offer here. If the OP is subject to a court's terms legally outlining her parent's care, custody and control and possibly outpatient considerations as well, then it's a matter best discussed between them and an attorney who specializes in such things. It's complicated, but nevertheless you have rights.

However if that is not the case, then it may ultimately be a matter of leaving such a toxic environment, and accepting the consequences that go along with liberating one's self of their parents. And if you are unwilling to consider such a sacrifice, then accept your present predicament and bide your time in improving your situation the best you can.

Even for the average person under better circumstances, becoming fully independent of one's parents can be daunting. I wasn't fully independent of my parents until I was 26.

 

[GadAbout]

I view the time of late adolescence and early adulthood as fraught with difficulties for any autistic individual. Even those who made it through middle and high school may falter at this stage. It helps if you can become more independent by increments, such as taking a part-time job while living at home, or by trying college at a reduced courseload.

You need an advocate to help you negotiate these challenges, OP. If you don't have a therapist or social worker, ask for one. Sometimes they can arrange things that you, on your own, cannot.

 

[Aspychata]

I view the time of late adolescence and early adulthood as fraught with difficulties for any autistic individual. Even those who made it through middle and high school may falter at this stage. It helps if you can become more independent by increments, such as taking a part-time job while living at home, or by trying college at a reduced courseload.

You need an advocate to help you negotiate these challenges, OP. If you don't have a therapist or social worker, ask for one. Sometimes they can arrange things that you, on your own, cannot.

I have navigated my course in life pretty much on my own and it's been poor job choices, poor boyfriend choices. But l do my best to stay on top of it all. Sometimes l regret things l have done, but we are human, at the end of the day l accept myself.

 

[Fino]

Did I miss it or has no one pointed out that it's simply not true that somebody else can get you put in a mental institution simply by saying the right things? That would make for such a ridiculous world. People would do it all the time. In reality, they would simply ask you yourself if you wanted to kill yourself and you would calmly reply, "No," and it would be over. For whatever reason, you're not being honest.

But either way, how about you go to college so you can get a more preferable job? I couldn't stand those sorts of jobs either (though I worked them anyway) so I went to college.

 

[Aspychata]

Did I miss it or has no one pointed out that it's simply not true that somebody else can get you put in a mental institution simply by saying the right things? That would make for such a ridiculous world. People would do it all the time. In reality, they would simply ask you yourself if you wanted to kill yourself and you would calmly reply, "No," and it would be over. For whatever reason, you're not being honest.

But either way, how about you go to college so you can get a more preferable job? I couldn't stand those sorts of jobs either (though I worked them anyway) so I went to college.

Sadly college isn't always a best option. I have a friend whose son just graduated from a decent university, and lives in a huge city, and can't get even interviews at this point.

 

[Fino]

Sadly college isn't always a best option. I have a friend whose son just graduated from a decent university, and lives in a huge city, and can't get even interviews at this point.

It depends on your major, of course. I make $27 an hour instead of minimum wage because I went to college. I'm now in graduate school and plan to improve on that.

 

[Stardust Parade]

Being more specific about your situation would be extremely helpful to the rest of us. I can't make heads or tails out of what you're saying.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

And why did they want you sedated? Was it violence, self-harm, meltdowns?

And it would not be your relatives who would diagnose you, it would be doctors and psychologists. You were institutionalized several times, and nobody ever diagnosed you?

As to the "perfectly sane" judgment, well, you might not be the right one to state that. I certainly have encountered a number of schizophrenics who believed they were perfectly sane.

Anyway, you come in here offering very minimal information about yourself, wanting some escape from "toxic" family, and a primer on how to get a really swell job that allows you to live independently. That's not how life, or this site, works. Stick around and read other people's threads, see if you can pick up some ideas that might help you.

I agree

 

[Sfgirlred]

Sadly college isn't always a best option. I have a friend whose son just graduated from a decent university, and lives in a huge city, and can't get even interviews at this point.

This haha. Very true. PHDs perusing local odd job listings.