Total Shutdown Mode in Public. Help.

[OkRad]

I have been going into 100% shut down mode in public if I am anywhere for more than 30 minutes.

THe trouble started after my accident, it's all gone to sh*t. For instance, The gym is now part of my routine and my head injury exacerbated the autism.

At first I thought it was temporary, that I would recover , so I was friendly and tried to be NT. Then it all got worse and more complicated with the head injury and also with social issues and people asking stuff and then saying HI when I could not.

So now I went into total shutdown and do not talk at all. Mute.

Today on way out, I squeeked out to one of the people there who has seen this up and down and regression and who was always nice to me.....i said it wasn't going to get better so they would not think it was them.

I do not know how they took it. I left, humiliated but they were always nice to me and I did not want them to think I was mad at them about something.

But now I have to go to a whole different gym 20 miles away. Grrrrr. I don't want to hurt those people who were so nice to me.

If I had just never tried to be friendly this would not have happened. At the new gym I am being prophylactic. ........I am mute now . Sometimes someone asks me a direct question and I get sucked in. But they will just get hurt when I close in.

When I come home I am so drained I am totally suicidal till my family comes over and then I can talk and think again.

Needless to say I do not go ANYWHERE I do not have to go now. 30 minutes and it starts, feeling unsafe, feeling overwhelmed.................knowing it will never end.

 

[Nitro]

I'm probably best qualified to help you here since I have been in your shoes. One year out from a brain injury is not a long time. Your brain is in the process of rewiring itself,so it really isn't good at coping yet with the damaged areas let alone adding your autistic issues to the mix.

You need to be patient and only worry about how you feel instead of worrying about how others perceive you. I know that sounds selfish,but your mental health has to be your focus for now.

Hit me up in private anytime you feel the need to vent,ask questions or even just want support.

I'm sure there are many more here in the AC community that will offer the same.

 

[OkRad]

I'm probably best qualified to help you here since I have been in your shoes. One year out from a brain injury is not a long time. Your brain is in the process of rewiring itself,so it really isn't good at coping yet with the damaged areas let alone adding your autistic issues to the mix.

You need to be patient and only worry about how you feel instead of worrying about how others perceive you. I know that sounds selfish,but your mental health has to be your focus for now.

Hit me up in private anytime you feel the need to vent,ask questions or even just want support.

I'm sure there are many more here in the AC community that will offer the same.

Thank you, Nitro. I feel so weird. I was always odd because of the autism. Now I cannot seem to tap into "me" at all. Its like there is no "me"

They said I am OK now. The Neuro Cog and MRI latest was great except visual spatial but everything is different now.

 

[Alcyon]

Would carrying a card with a brief explanation be possible/helpful?

I had (still have?) an example of one somewhere on my computer, I may have gotten rid of it or just can't find it right now.

 

[artfull dodger]

I have the same issue, shutdowns when heavily stressed in public. I wear an wrist ID band that says "Autistic" and "See Wallet Card" The card in my wallet has my wife's cell number and my therapist's number incase something more serious happens. If I lock up and shut down and someone asks something, I point to the wrist band and they can look and see that I am autistic. That usually takes care of the issue and I normally can manage to get myself back to my truck where its quiet and I can recover enough to drive home. I have the widows on my pickup truck darkly tinted, helps isolate me from others and helps with my light sensitivity in the daytime. Mike