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Featured Topsy turvy friendships

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Ephraim Becker, Feb 16, 2021.

  1. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

    Messages:
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    I honestly never understood the point of friendships. Even as young as four years old I was always telling my mother I did not want friends but she kept trying to convince me anyway. With other kids I usually got into fights. If I could not engage in my special interest, I did not find the task enjoyable. No one ever wanted to hear about my special interest so this friendship thing was just a big chore. When I thought I found people who shared my special interest, the special interest never lasted with the other person and we drifted apart. So I quit trying to make friends. I don't see the point. At least in making friends with humans. My best friend was a bearded dragon. Some people said it wasn't reciprocal but they can go jump in a lake. I loved that lizard and she loved me back. and to be honest I do not think I'll ever be able to love someone or something as much as I loved her. She was like a sister to me.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  2. paloftoon

    paloftoon Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    He is hoping that the opposite will happen. He figures that when he made a good impression, that people liked him at first and then they changed their minds later. So, he is thinking that if he starts off bad, that then they will like him later on or that they will feel sorry for him and by (pity) friends for him.

    This is wrong on so many levels. Whoever voted yes on the poll probably doesn't want friends themselves. That doesn't mean you should answer "yes" to the poll.

    When Ephraim did connect with people previously, it's not because they wanted to just "do" an opposite thing that they stopped being friends with him. It's because they didn't like something later on or they're play games. Based on the fact this question is asked and having read a few other posts, it is most likely the first in this case. Friendships can be "hard [emotional] work." Quality ones are worth it if you can get them, but they are hard to get and some of it is luck. Some compromise, flexibility, openness, balance, and assertiveness are important for a quality friendship.

    Ephraim, thank you for your bravery to post on here and ask us. I hope this discussion helps and that your quality of social life will improve, because you deserve it.
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
  3. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I see, thanks for explaining. I agree about this being wrong. Making a bad impression isn't going to help him make friends. Unfortunately, people are most often superficial and judgemental; they judge people on how they look or initially come across, then their mind is made up and hard to change.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1