Too stupid to learn anything. Proofed it this past weeks.

[Tony Ramirez]

I'm a stupid retard. No one would get that. I can't do 3rd grade math and reading without failing. Even basic computer documents I failed all the tests at the boarder grade passing is 80%, but my retarded brain gets a 74%.

Just like when I was in school, passing was 65% D- but I got a 59% F+. Retake same grade or a 62% still flunked.

Then I have angry meltdowns now, saying I get the same answers wrong. Saying you need help. I then say it does no good I can't be taught, my retarded brain forgets it right away.

I can't be taught. I am not the person that will suddenly go from a retard to a genius with a 4.0 bachelor's or PhD in mathematics and literature like so many of you and my friends, even the new one from the park I meet has.

 

[Aspychata]

I think you should concentrate on what you are good at. Some people are excellent mechanics, make great salaries doing that. Some people are great with animals, and animal training. Some people like to cut hair. The point l am making is, go out and thru discovery, you will find out what you are good at. Maybe you are excellent using your hands, taking apart machines and putting them back together. I love to garden, l enjoy the dirt, helping my plants grow, just very hands on. Have you ever thought applying at a bakery? Kneading bread, or making pizza is a great job and you may make tips and enjoy it. You will never know until you try it.

 

[Misery]

This is just a thought based on my own experiences, but have you considered trying a totally different learning mechanism?

For instance, I'm absolutely godawful at math. I dont think I ever reached a third-grade level, really. I could do addition and subtraction, so long as the numbers arent too big. I could very, very, very slowly do multiplication, but there will be many errors. I had no idea how to do division. None. And anything beyond that is not even worth trying, I definitely couldnt do it.

Back in school, math classes were always failing grades, really. I was never a good student, but that was the worst of all the different classes.

But all of that was seriously the wrong way for me to learn anything. Just sitting there listening to brain-meltingly boring lectures being given by a teacher who likely didnt even want to be there? Yeah, that works for some, doesnt work for me.

Recently I just sort of abruptly decided "I'm gonna try the math again, but let's try it differently this time". Note that it's been well over a decade since I got out of college (and I wasnt any better there). I picked up a book, "All in One Basic Math and Pre-Algebra For Dummies" and the workbook that goes along with it (which is basically full of quizzes that are meant to be used with each chapter of the main book). I've had good results with the "for dummies" line of books before in various subjects (which includes computer stuff, an area where I absolutely do know what I'm doing, but there's always more to learn). So it's like, hey, let's give it a try.

And ya know what, I found myself successfully doing long division for the first time since... er... since ever, really. I never grasped that back in school. But I realize now, that was seriously because of the teaching method. Lectures and classes just dont work for everyone. Using a method that is compatible for you though, can change everything and show that hey, maybe this subject here (whatever it is) isnt impossible after all, with an approach that actually freaking works. And one that actually respects your time and any challenges you might have (like how I *must* get up and pace around every now and then, I couldnt do that in class). I still have a very long way to go, mind you. I'm not exactly at algebra yet (or even close). But I know now that I *can* get there, so long as I persist with it.

There are other ways of learning too, many ways, just takes some exploring and experimenting to find them.

What I'm saying is: just because something aint clicking, that doesnt immediately mean that you're stupid... instead, it might mean you need a different toolset for learning. Though of course the stupid education system tends to present the idea of classes and lectures and such as the only way to learn... but that's a whole other irritating discussion.

I do want to also second what @Aspychata said though: everyone's good at different things. How about trying something completely new?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

My friend I meet in the park said she is also a math tutor who is willing to help me.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Some of the most talented professionals I have ever met were admittedly, terrible in the classroom. Even people who I deal with every day, medical professionals, when you ask them "How do you learn?", most will say, "By doing."

Sometimes, it isn't the subject material, but rather it's how you learn, and having an instructor that understands that.

 

[Alexej]

I have often proved that instructions were not "idiot proof".

It may just be that I see possible readings that others don't see

 

[Hypnalis]

I'm a stupid retard. No one would get that. I can't do 3rd grade math and reading without failing. Even basic computer documents I failed all the tests at the boarder grade passing is 80%, but my retarded brain gets a 74%.

Just like when I was in school, passing was 65% D- but I got a 59% F+. Retake same grade or a 62% still flunked.

Then I have angry meltdowns now, saying I get the same answers wrong. Saying you need help. I then say it does no good I can't be taught, my retarded brain forgets it right away.

I can't be taught. I am not the person that will suddenly go from a retard to a genius with a 4.0 bachelor's or PhD in mathematics and literature like so many of you and my friends, even the new one from the park I meet has.

There's no way to know from this forum if your math issues can be resolved or not.

But one thing is certain: your apparent conviction that you're incapable of learning math is a significant constraint in itself.

This (slightly edited, but the original above is exactly as you wrote it) is the kind of "self-talk" that makes progress very difficult:

I am not the person that will suddenly go from <unskilled> to <expert> with a 4.0 bachelor's or PhD in mathematics and literature like so many of you

Nobody except a real genius can do that, and real genius is very very rare.

People like this:
Terence Tao - Wikipedia
are as far beyond normal technical math skills (the kind of thing professional engineers use) as an engineer is beyond your current level of knowledge.

If you know someone that is prepared to teach you some basic math, and you genuinely want to learn, accept the the offer. But for this to lead anywhere you need to address your issues, and accept the implied context:

1. Lose the attitude that you can never succeed. It constraints you unnecessarily.

2. A student has to truly accept that the teacher knows more, and should always communicate and act based on that knowledge.
You can negotiate a bit about the path that's followed, but a flat refusal to follow the path the teacher has chosen is "playing to lose", and a huge disincentive for the instructor.

3. It won't be easy. There's no "magic wand" for learning something that you've had trouble with in the past. Trying to force the teacher to achieve the impossible is the same as refusing to learn.
Do the work. Let it take the time it takes (almost certainly several months at best).

4. Don't start unless you're prepared to finish.
Giving up after pretending to commit is quite likely to have negative social consequences.
I can't know that of course ... but FWIW, I ghost people who do that to me, because it means they've lied to me (which is very hard for me to forgive), and deliberately wasted my time.

(BTW: I have a number of technical skills that are potentially valuable to others, but quite difficult to learn.
So I occasionally get asked to teach things, or I offer to do so. Most times, it turns out people want the result, but are not prepared to do the work /sigh).

 

[Tony Ramirez]

My parents insult me too this day.
I had no teachers inspire me. Some called me dumb or said I had a learning disability but refused to help me.
That's proof I am retarded and couldn't be learned when my grandmother would study for hours with me and I would still fail.

 

[gigi1919]

I feel also angry at many things I can't do. Imagine that I write a book and can't read it back to myself to edit because my brain starts fogging.
Granted that schools have very standardised (by the neurotypical standards) ways of assessing skills it might not be comforting what I say but is also true.

1. Schools tell us what we're worth in some ways by inventing methods by normative standards. They they have a system of rewards (high scores or opportunities) and punishments (low scores and.. judgment, exclusion from opportunities). So they have some power to give us points by their arbitrarily set standards, and about some opportunities they let us. But, no matter how much power in those areas they have they cannot tell you if you are retarded. It's a label that people use to discriminate those who don't fit in the same standards. They prey on insecurities and the more people fear—the more power the system is given. They want students to feel insecure and afraid —that's how they maintain their status of authority. If no one feared their opinion, the entire education system would go to dust.

2. Not sure if it will help, but watching nature documentaries helped me understand some things. Watching animal kingdom a sloth that is watching a lion is not saying "I am so slow, I'm so unproductive" or "I will never hunt" like the lion. Sloth is a very successful at being a sloth. A lion is successful at being a lion. A fish is successful at being fish.
I know we live in the world where it pays to be the lion. But I believe we can find ways, at least to not discriminate self esteem by saying "I'm retarded" (what they want you tho think) and find some ways where we don't have to torment ourselves for not fitting in those or any other standards.

I realise it's not helpful with the particular math tests, but maybe some things are not for us. Whereas other things are. Some people suggested here to focus on the things that naturally interest you and you're good at.

I used to believe when people told me bad things about me. Now instead of thinking how can I fit their reality, I ask how do they fit my reality? - they have to score higher in my tests.

 

[717]

I'm a stupid retard. No one would get that. I can't do 3rd grade math and reading without failing. Even basic computer documents I failed all the tests at the boarder grade passing is 80%, but my retarded brain gets a 74%.

Just like when I was in school, passing was 65% D- but I got a 59% F+. Retake same grade or a 62% still flunked.

Then I have angry meltdowns now, saying I get the same answers wrong. Saying you need help. I then say it does no good I can't be taught, my retarded brain forgets it right away.

I can't be taught. I am not the person that will suddenly go from a retard to a genius with a 4.0 bachelor's or PhD in mathematics and literature like so many of you and my friends, even the new one from the park I meet has.

One thing I have notice from your list of messages you post in this forums is that you are very passionate when you post.

You seems to talk in absolutes like for example "everyone hates me"... And I am actually curious about this, in how you get so involve and how you get such levels of emotion...

In my case I find it hard to do this things, I can dissociate myself from my multiple personas. I understand when an emotional reaction is expected but in new environments I usually fail to deliver the expected intensity of it, but I can adjust, based on feedback. I would like to learn or at least understand how you get so honestly involve this way.

Anyway, your math problems... I would suggest you talk to your teacher and let them know about your struggle and try to see if they can suggest a solution that maybe works for you, if talking is not your thing, maybe try to write it down...

I agree with Misery that you also should try some other methods of learning to see if you find one that works better with you.

 

[Misery]

I had no teachers inspire me. Some called me dumb or said I had a learning disability but refused to help me.
That's proof I am retarded and couldn't be learned when my grandmother would study for hours with me and I would still fail.

That's not proof of anything related to your intelligence.

That's merely proof that your teachers were bloody horrible.

 

[Mary Terry]

@Tony Ramirez - Why do you need to learn math at this point in your life? If there is no compelling reason for you to deal with math, then don't stress yourself out trying to learn anything more complicated that how to count dollars and cents. Seriously, why do you need complicated math in your life right now?

I'm terrible at math but I finally realized that math involves a lot of memorizations. You memorize the addition and multiplication tables, you memorize the steps to solve algebra problems, etc. To this day, I can't remember the multiplication tables for anything higher than the number 5. Yep, true confession. I use a calculator. I always thought I was stupid because I couldn't just automatically do math like I falsely thought other people did. Then I realized that the vast majority of people just memorize elemental math and that's all they ever need in life.

I can't address your reading comprehension concerns but you do just fine here with responding to comments and expressing your feelings.

 

[FayetheAspie]

If academics aren't your thing, that's ok. You just need to find out what is. Everyone has a purpose and everyone is valuable.

 

[Judge]

A failure in learning one subject is no way of determining how well one might learn an entirely different subject. Then consider the learning process itself. That some people simply do not do well attempting to learn in more formal circumstances, involving a classroom and instructor. And as it has been mentioned, not all instructors are created equal.

That such people may surprise themselves and everyone else when they master something equally difficult, yet entirely on their own terms outside of any classroom. This is when you have to consider what you can do and think you do it well.

To remind you that you aren't stupid, but complicated when it comes to the learning process in general. Something I suspect many of us here would consider. That while we have weaknesses, we also have strengths of one kind or another.

It's just unfortunate that society as a whole tends to favor more formal learning processes that not everyone can successfully navigate.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

A failure in learning one subject is no way of determining how well one might learn an entirely different subject.

You just don't get it. I am a failure in every single subject. I even failed computer tests. That's how much of a dumb, retarded person I am. I am not good in any subject.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Tony, you've got yourself convinced. Why bring it up in a thread like this? Do you want validation that you're a "stupid retard"? Not happening. We're here to support each other.

There are others that do this too. Look at poor me because of this, that, or the other thing. Give me support so I can reject it and get more frustrated and angry about my situation. Spiraling down, down,....down. We aren't going to validate these sorts of thoughts because we know how dangerous it is with us.

The average IQ is around 100-105. We don't know where you land but, that's the mean. 1/2 above that. 1/2 below that. Equality and equity do not exist in reality. Life is never fair. Billions and billions of 2-digit IQs doing the best they can in life. Time to get on with your life. Get out of your head, get out in the world, and do something productive that makes you feel good.

 

[Judge]

You just don't get it. I am a failure in every single subject. I even failed computer tests. That's how much of a dumb, retarded person I am. I am not good in any subject.

What kind of "computer tests" are you talking about?

Just understand that test scores don't necessarily reflect on one's actual ability to create something.
However they seem to remain the one factor that can determine whether one can be formally certified in a vocational program. Reminds me of stewing over my math skills having to take such a test that lasted and hour and a half just to get into a formal and comprehensive web design program. Yeah, I get that.

You mentioned to me before that you seemed to have an aptitude for using software to create websites. Has something changed since then? Is there other things you consider yourself good at, without having had to be tested on it?

Too bad you can't find a job counseling program that might just show that there are jobs you never knew about that met a specific aptitude you never realized you had. But yes, the process involves some of those tests you loathe. Where you have to be willing to expose yourself for them to determine what you might be best at.

 

[Dagan]

Merriam-Websters has all but stricken the term of "mental retardation," instead for the term "intellectual disability."

Still, I would like you to focus on what it means to "retard" anything at all. It simply means that something is held back, slowed down and/or at times prevented from what is considered the usual, normal processing rate / time. That's it. Any / all negatives put towards the word were basically just elitist A-hole types being themselves and doing what they still do today - influencing changes for negative and / or dumb reasons because they for whatever reason thought it to be funny or cool. Those types of people truly make cultural changes, but overall, they don't win out entirely. You / we are the better people by miles.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Teachers who tutored me would praise me when I pass but put me down when I failed. My relatives would do the same. I never had a study group or a friend tutor me get the point, so I was called retarded and stupid, so I got used to it to get the point.

Now my nice friend I met in the park 2 weeks ago was so kind of me she is so kind of me so she actually wants to tutor me in math personally and send her problems gives me confidence and believe in me actually believes in me says that she can actually help me I never had anyone personally wanted to tutor me in this stuff I just can't believe it I can do it I get a frustrated I never had actually anyone that can actually think they can help me I had tutors that would put me down and say oh you did good in this test, but you failed this one you're useless you stupid you had to get the point.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

yeah, based on what you keep writing Tony, i don't think you were close to securing employment anytime soon, however, someone i spoke to on this forum, said that it is possible for people to make a decent living just depending on SSDI alone.