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To quit or not?

Ken

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I feel like lately i am being a burden on my coworkers. I have executive dysfunction, work too slow and have trouble understanding unsaid things.
I feel like i don't deserve my job basically and that i am deceiving my employer and everyone else by pretending i am NT.
I felt that way for years throughout my career and suffered crushing depression for it. Finally, my wife suggested that I retire, so I did. They honored me with a retirement party and my boss / business owner told me that he was very sad to see me go and that in all the years of the business; I was his best employee.

I was floored and totally dumbfounded. All those years I felt I was on the razor edge of being fired. Like you, I am slow, I don't work well with others and there are a lot of required tasks I just couldn't do. Someone else always had to do it for me.

I learned that it is very hard to see yourself from others perspective and what your value really is to them. Since you have not been fired, perhaps your value is greater than you think. Perhaps your are actually worth more than the negatives of all your difficulties, slowness, etc.
 

AprilR

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I don't know. I just wish there was somewhere i could go to from here. But there is probably no right work place for me in this country. If anyone knew i was autistic i would be deemed unemployable.
Just left to my own devices as usual. And of course shunned by my family, and i dont have anyone else apart from my family.
 

Ken

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I don't know. I just wish there was somewhere i could go to from here. But there is probably no right work place for me in this country. If anyone knew i was autistic i would be deemed unemployable.
Just left to my own devices as usual. And of course shunned by my family, and i dont have anyone else apart from my family.
Actually, I did not mean to suggest you should quit or not quit. I was just saying that you are not as "bad" as you think.

Perhaps your current job is not fitting to your talent. I don't know, but I'm sure I would not do well in close quarters with other people.

I do agree that you should not disclose to anyone that you are autistic. That would just invoke added stereotyping and misunderstandings. It's OK for people to think you are just a bit odd.

Also, you don't have to be great at a job to be worth having. I don't know where you live, but I would find it hard to believe that any country is so small or constricted that no job could exist that would benefit from you talents; even if you don't believe you have any. Just because you haven't found it yet doesn't mean none exists. You just have to be patient and keep looking. For me, I eventually learned that for me to be successful at any job meant that I had to work alone and never interface with the general public. That made finding such a job very hard, but I finally found it. I too was entirely on my own. Yes, it is hard, but hard is not impossible - just hard.
 

AprilR

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Actually, I did not mean to suggest you should quit or not quit. I was just saying that you are not as "bad" as you think.

Perhaps your current job is not fitting to your talent. I don't know, but I'm sure I would not do well in close quarters with other people.

I do agree that you should not disclose to anyone that you are autistic. That would just invoke added stereotyping and misunderstandings. It's OK for people to think you are just a bit odd.

Also, you don't have to be great at a job to be worth having. I don't know where you live, but I would find it hard to believe that any country is so small or constricted that no job could exist that would benefit from you talents; even if you don't believe you have any. Just because you haven't found it yet doesn't mean none exists. You just have to be patient and keep looking. For me, I eventually learned that for me to be successful at any job meant that I had to work alone and never interface with the general public. That made finding such a job very hard, but I finally found it. I too was entirely on my own. Yes, it is hard, but hard is not impossible - just hard.
Thank you very much. What you said made me relax a bit. When i am too anxious i tend to catastrophize situations. Maybe that's what's happening right now, or maybe i am Just not able to use my talents where i work. Either way everyone's responses helped me relax a bit.

I am feeling a bit better now psychologically although physically, i got sick so i am staying home for a few days. Hopefully next week i will feel better
 

Mr. Stevens

Active Member
I have had negative feed back from my employer but there is no solution bc i guess other people work faster than me and are more practical. I am expected to work things out on my own and i make mistakes if i don't ask questions and "take responsibility"

I have heard of imposter syndrome but i am not sure if i have it or just that i am less capable than others
I realize you posted this about a month ago, but thinking of Imposter Syndrome...

I feel like one difficulty with Autism and Imposter Syndrome is we are often asked to be imposters. There is intentional or unintentional pressure to mask and be "normal." We are often addressed as if we are not Autistic, which is very jarring. The people doing this may mean well, but it's still difficult and can be disorienting, day after day. Maybe this is something you feel.

Yes, we can often do what others do, but with much more effort, and probably not for as long. I think that can make us feel like we're posing because others assume if we can do it then it's not that hard, but we know otherwise. At least, that's my experience.

I relate a lot to your work pressures and hope you can make the right choice for yourself. Unfortunately, supports seem to be minimal.
 

AprilR

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I realize you posted this about a month ago, but thinking of Imposter Syndrome...

I feel like one difficulty with Autism and Imposter Syndrome is we are often asked to be imposters. There is intentional or unintentional pressure to mask and be "normal." We are often addressed as if we are not Autistic, which is very jarring. The people doing this may mean well, but it's still difficult and can be disorienting, day after day. Maybe this is something you feel.

Yes, we can often do what others do, but with much more effort, and probably not for as long. I think that can make us feel like we're posing because others assume if we can do it then it's not that hard, but we know otherwise. At least, that's my experience.

I relate a lot to your work pressures and hope you can make the right choice for yourself. Unfortunately, supports seem to be minimal.
You are right, it seems like they are forcing me to act normal and be an imposter. The reality is no one wants a disabled employee, they don't want to deal with that. I am trying to go easy on myself and be more forgiving to myself even when people think i am not enough. The worse thing that would happen is that i would get fired, and that is okay.
 

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