Time to think: means time to panic.

[Suzanne]

I get so eager when someone suggests something that appeals to me and go hurtling into making arrangements and then, afterwards, my mind starts dwelling on it and the dawning realisation that I cannot do what I said I would do!

I love to walk, but hubby is too busy and the only person who must go for walks, lives too far away from me and I cannot go on my own; I always need a goal to reach and so random walking is just out for me.

This lady of my faith, said that she really needs to start walking, because she is driving too much and said: how about if we go for a walk together? We established a time, but I feel sick to my heart now. I just do not want to go for a walk with her. Plus, I have an exercise bike I use regularly anyway.

My husband suggested to me that perhaps if she just turned up, I would go? And he is right, I would go. If she phoned and said: come on, let's go for that walk, I would go. But for some reason, this method of prearrangement, panics me.

By the way, I know it would be good for me, but I am in a place right now, where I can't even go shopping with hubby. I do not want to be around people.

 

[SusanLR]

I get so eager when someone suggests something that appeals to me and go hurtling into making arrangements and then, afterwards, my mind starts dwelling on it and the dawning realisation that I cannot do what I said I would do!

I love to walk, but hubby is too busy and the only person who must go for walks, lives too far away from me and I cannot go on my own; I always need a goal to reach and so random walking is just out for me.

This lady of my faith, said that she really needs to start walking, because she is driving too much and said: how about if we go for a walk together? We established a time, but I feel sick to my heart now. I just do not want to go for a walk with her. Plus, I have an exercise bike I use regularly anyway.

My husband suggested to me that perhaps if she just turned up, I would go? And he is right, I would go. If she phoned and said: come on, let's go for that walk, I would go. But for some reason, this method of prearrangement, panics me.

By the way, I know it would be good for me, but I am in a place right now, where I can't even go shopping with hubby. I do not want to be around people.

I know how that feels.
When someone asks, at the time, it seems like a good idea and hard to say no.
Then later the feeling of wish I hadn't agreed creeps in.

I'm going through this with a friend who wants me to do Tai Chi on weekends. A part of me knows it would be
healthy, but here in the home environment I have to push myself to get out to fulfill the agreement.
And I don't like to feel I have let him down if I don't show.

 

[Bolletje]

I know the feeling. Social engagements that I'm genuinely enthusiastic about, become less and less inviting as the agreed upon date draws closer, until I really have to force myself to leave the house. Thing is, if I cancel, I feel really bad for letting down my friends and for isolating myself. I'll end up staying at home feeling miserable. So these days I allow myself to have a nervous breakdown if needed, but afterwards I will go, unless I am physically incapable of doing so.

 

[Suzanne]

The amusing thing is and well, frustrating too and embarrassing ( just to add a few); is that she texted me to say that SHE COULDN'T make the walk and gave me a smilie that denoted: ouch, sorry about this kind of thing and I had to laugh!

When I texted my husband about it, he texted back and said: bet you thought: phew, glad about that and he is right hehehehe

She invited me out tomorrow afternoon instead and this time I asked if it is ok that I get back to her on that? And she is fine.

For an nt, she does seem to go out of her way to help me; I just going through a stage of mini antisocial feeling ( because I am not and cannot be deliberately rude to people), but just do not wish to be around anyone right now.

 

[tducey]

I know the feeling, it's good to get invited to stuff by others but there is always anxiety out there about possibly enjoying it or having fun there.

 

[musicalman]

Yeah, I get this often. My dad asks me to go to a party with his friends. My band wants to have a practice. A friend wants to go to a concert, a movie, or just out to lunch. Or maybe just to have a phone call and discuss something we're working on. I'm like sure, why not? It'll get me doing something, and more often than not, out of the house. I won't be bored if nothing else. Maybe I'll want to finish some project I started a long time ago. Or finally get to know someone or something I've not felt like looking at yet. Or maybe actually getting to the business of what I came there to do in the first place such as socialize, watch the movie, do a band rehearsal etc. The best way I can describe these thoughts is looking forward. Looking forward to doing something, accomplishing something I've either never done before, or have only done a handful of times and should probably do again. It's like this burst of motivation to get out of my bubble and actually get stuff done.

But as the date draws closer, I am less and less excited. I overthink, and may even get myself in a panic like the accounts on this thread. I wonder what on Earth I set myself up for and why I did it. This thing is going to come up, that thing is going to come up, how do I deal with that? Or realizing that I am not in the mood or headspace to handle this much stimulation at once. And I can't explain this to a lot of people.

I want to overcome my aversion to socialization and getting out, but no matter how much I want that, I often find myself less and less excited for most things as the date draws closer. Not all the time, but I'd say 75 percent of the time. It's something I've gotten used to, and I end up forcing myself to stick to things if I can help it, because that's the only way I'll do them.