This gives me a reason for not liking people...

[Julie Gross]

I don’t like being around people and I don’t like people anymore because people picked on me a lot and people bully me a lot.

For example, at work (this is when I worked at the grocery store)they made up things to fire me and I didn’t like them for it. I hated them for it. I just wanted to be left alone. It just people always come after me. I feel like I am being attacked a lot.

A lot of people pick on me not only do they call me stupid but they said I smell or had “hygiene issues” which I never believed I did. I just thought they made it up.

Whenever I talk about others saying I have hygiene issues, like my mom they believe the other person who said it and it made me hate them because no one was on my side about anything. I feel like everyone is against me and coming after me.

It made me feel worse and it made it harder to cope with the abuse I was getting and it made me feel anger, rage, and frustration.

How do I have hygiene issues when I brush my hair and brush my teeth and take a shower and put on deodorant?

Don’t say they were trying to help me because I just don’t see it. I don’t believe it. I see they were picking on me because they didn’t like me.

These people who said this had one thing in common and they all were mean to me and treated me terribly. They always talked about me behind my back and sad awful things and said terrible things and then they yelled at me to my face.

Why would they try to help me?

I hate it when people say that people are trying to help you or they are trying to help when I hate them for it and I said “ I don’t need your help” then this guy said “ I am sick of your attitude”

All he did was point out what was wrong with me. He wanted me fired and he always yelled at me. He was never nice to me. How can I believe a word he was saying?

I was in my own world and all of sudden these people just randomly said this one day out of the blue.

It was so random like they gathered up one day and said “yeah I just say this to get her fired.”

Plus they got at me for other things too. They were always talking about me saying horrible things and would never be nice to my face.

I just don’t know what to think anymore about people. That’s why I don’t like people.

It doesn’t matter what they said anymore. I don’t care. I just hated that they bothered me. It wasn’t the job for me. But I felt I was discriminated against for being “me” an autistic person and it shouldn’t have happened.


Everyone at that job talked about me and spread rumors about me. Every job I got that would always happen to me.

The only other time people who said I had hygiene issues was my roommates and they weren’t nice to me either. They always were mean to me. They talked about me behind my back.
I called one of them out on it. I said “I am sick of you bullying me.”

He denied he ever did but he did.

I knew it and I felt it too.

 

[GadAbout]

If people in different settings say you have hygiene problems ... then you probably have hygiene problems.

 

[Julie Gross]

I don’t have hygiene problems. They made it up because they were bullies.

If people said this in two different settings it really means they don’t know anything about me and are making up BS about me which will get them in the end and that’s NOT my fault it’s on them.

I will never believe the BS people say about me because I know better and I trust myself that much more.

I knew they made it up and they were rude and pathetic and they couldn’t even look at me and say it.

They looked down and laughed at me which makes me wonder about them and makes me concerned for them because they have nothing better to do with their time.

 

[GadAbout]

The very intelligent, eminent autism pioneer, Temple Grandin, wrote in one of her books that she was very reluctant to acknowledge that she had hygiene problems. She conformed to society's expectations, but she wasn't happy about it.

If she can do it, so can you.

 

[tducey]

I have hygeine problems as well - Mainly my teeth. Best to take care of that.

 

[Julie Gross]

I don’t understand you people and what your saying.

I just said I don’t have hygiene problems.

But others say I do because they are bullies and made it up. Which indicates they are WRONG and I am not and they should shut their mouths.

What the heck?

You are very confusing to me.

Just because someone says it I have to believe it?

That’s crazy! They were going to hurt me and that would have put me in danger. I couldn’t have been killed. They were ganging up on me.

What the heck is that about.

You people are starting to scary me. I am not going to listen to people who believe people who are going to hurt me and put me in danger.

I have a right to live.

 

[tree]

@Julie Gross

It's very likely that because your post #3 in this thread originally said
"I have hygiene problems" people reading your post thought you meant
that you have hygiene problems.

You have reworded your post to say the opposite now.

I don't believe anyone here is trying to scare you and
no one here has disputed that you have a right to live.

 

[GadAbout]

When I was at university there was a small computer lab provided to us students in the department. A student from Pakistan or some other place in South Asia had a bad case of body odor. I felt this was going to impede her professional progress. I did not believe it was a matter of autism, but rather a cultural difference.

I was very tempted to explain this cultural difference to her, which would have helped her succeed professionally. But I never could bring myself to do it, because I knew she would be embarrassed about it and further thought, she might be angry with me. I was a coward.

@Julie Gross, how often do you shower, use deodorant, comb your hair, and brush your teeth? How often do you shampoo your hair?

Also, how many days do you wear any item of clothing - including socks and underwear? One day? Two? More? Often the clothing can be smelly even if the body itself is clean.

Nobody here wants you killed. Relax.

 

[Julie Gross]

I do all those things every single day.

I don’t wear the same clothes more then once.

I always wash my clothes every time I wear it.

I am my own best friend and I don’t trust people’s BS about my hygiene they must be talking about themselves and taking it out on me. Which is not my problem.

 

[Julie Gross]

What are you talking about?

I am very confused and scared by this response.

I don’t have to conform to anything because I am doing what’s right for me and it’s working for me.

The very intelligent, eminent autism pioneer, Temple Grandin, wrote in one of her books that she was very reluctant to acknowledge that she had hygiene problems. She conformed to society's expectations, but she wasn't happy about it.

If she can do it, so can you.

 

[tree]

What sort of support system do you have @Julie Gross?
Caseworker? Social worker? Psychotherapist? Counselor?

When you are scared and confused, is there someone to
talk to that helps you understand what's going on?

 

[Catana]

"I don’t have to conform to anything because I am doing what’s right for me and it’s working for me."

Well, quite obviously, it isn't working for you. And as long as you insist that everyone else is wrong and you are right, nothing is going to change.

 

[china autie]

@Julie Gross

Sometimes a medical problem can causes changes to the way skin smells.

I knew someone that this happened to. She was also very upset about people telling her about her hygiene

and it turned out to be a medical condition which was easily treatable with a bit of medicine.

Please go to a medical doctor if you can. It may be that you also have a developing medical condition too like the woman I knew.

I hate docs myself but sometimes they can actually be useful.

Of course you have the right to live.

I believe in you.

 

[Vindicator Phoenix]

To anyone commenting, I recommend that we keep this thread supportive. When people share sensitive experiences about being bullied, nitpicking them and being just another critic will only worsen their lives. Be an ally instead.

Hi, @Julie Gross . I can't stand all the bullies in our world. I've had to hide from them, for many years. Even when living at home, people ganged up on me because they: were the "normal ones," and couldn't respect the quirks resulting from my autism. In fact, I still choose to associate with only a few people.

One doctor, who spoke to me, yelled at me, whereas another told me (twice) that I was making "stupid" decisions. Neither of these acts helped me, so I walked out.

During my emotional and existential struggles, I met at least three counselors who meant a lot to me. They listened non-judgmentally, and empathized with my suffering.

I went to see the counselors because I wanted to meet someone nice: someone who would finally treat me kindly. It worked. For most of each session, I just ranted, and they listened. They took my side, and that surprised me. It felt almost imaginary, for a second, but they really cared. I never went to them because I thought I was broken; I knew I wasn't broken. I just wanted to meet someone nice, and have the chance to talk, without receiving a downpour of criticism.

They gave me some ideas for things to try, in my life. Some of them I liked, and decided to try. At other times, I decided not to try their suggestions, and they were completely okay with that. Even if I wanted to spend most of the sessions talking about my beliefs and struggles, they were fine with that, too. They treated me like the boss, and I only chose to do what I was comfortable doing. If I felt tense, I had the right to say, "I don't feel comfortable talking about anything else," and I could leave, at anytime I wanted.

Have you ever talked to a counselor? Some of them are really nice, and meeting an accepting person can be a real relief. I sometimes forget that kind people exist, but when I talk to a counselor, or look in the mirror, I remember that good people exist; sometimes, we get just eclipsed by the mean folks.

 

[Kevin L.]

I see both sides of the issue, and here's my take on it.

I have sensory issues (especially with taste and smell), and I get how people can sometimes have body odor and not be aware.

Secondly, autistic people (again, due to sensory issues) may have a need to wear the same, familiar clothes day in and day out....as the textures of certian fabrics can make us crazy.....to the point where it interferes with work.

The next point is more in line with an earlier post: autistic people often have digestive problems, and odor can be created by things in your diet. My personal body odor changed when I gave up gluten and dairy products, and I also felt a lot better.

If you need to wear the same clothes day in and day out, get additional identical sets.....preferably from a thrift, or second-hand store, as second-hand clothes have been washed several times, and this makes the texture of the fabric more tolerable.

Next, use a mineral-stone deoderant rock. It's a piece of mineral crystal that is moistened and applied to the skin, and it works very well in circumstances where other products have failed.

Lastly, recognize that sensory issue in autism can work both ways, and that your sense of smell may be weaker and less acute than everyone else....so you may have body odor and be unaware of it.

This situation is a part of your disability, so don't let people judge you (or judge yourself), anymore than they should judge an epilectic who breaks a precious vase or statue while having a seizure.

 

[Julie Gross]

Well then fine I don’t care I don’t like you people anyways you weren’t helping at all and all you want to do is change me and I don’t have to change if I don’t want to and your not the boss of me. I hate all of you and guys suck and I don’t want you talking to me anymore. You guys don’t care at all.

"I don’t have to conform to anything because I am doing what’s right for me and it’s working for me."

Well, quite obviously, it isn't working for you. And as long as you insist that everyone else is wrong and you are right, nothing is going to change.

 

[Julie Gross]

Shut up I wish I never told you people!!!! You can think what ever you want about me and what not. I don’t care if you ban me. Just leave me alone!! I hating you people!!! I don’t see you people as being helpful to me at all.

@Julie Gross

Sometimes a medical problem can causes changes to the way skin smells.

I knew someone that this happened to. She was also very upset about people telling her about her hygiene

and it turned out to be a medical condition which was easily treatable with a bit of medicine.

Please go to a medical doctor if you can. It may be that you also have a developing medical condition too like the woman I knew.

I hate docs myself but sometimes they can actually be useful.

Of course you have the right to live.

I believe in you.

 

[Julie Gross]

Stop hating on me and stop hanging up on me leave me alone and I hate you all why can’t you leave me alone I didn’t do anything to any of you I shouldn’t of told you it was my mistake just leave me alone

 

[Julie Gross]

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