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Third time's the charm?

Gamma V

Gamma V

Resident ROM Hacker
My name is Amber Vasami. I'm a 33-year-old legally blind woman who also suffers from Asperger's Syndrome. I've been on a couple other autism forums, but became inactive partially due to my Autism Shame clashing with their perceived message of Autism Pride. I finally decided to join my third autism forum after coming to an old thread on sugar addiction, which I'm also struggling with right now.

When NOT being overwhelmed with Autism Shame, hating myself for having a sugar addiction, and hating being on Prozac, I enjoy watching robot-centric science-fiction cartoons like Transformers, drawing, role-playing, playing video games like those in the Sonic and Mario series, and ROM hacking Sonic and Super Mario World.
 
welcome to the tribe
Gamma V said:
My name is Amber Vasami. I'm a 33-year-old legally blind woman who also suffers from Asperger's Syndrome. I've been on a couple other autism forums, but became inactive partially due to my Autism Shame clashing with their perceived message of Autism Pride. I finally decided to join my third autism forum after coming to an old thread on sugar addiction, which I'm also struggling with right now.

When NOT being overwhelmed with Autism Shame, hating myself for having a sugar addiction, and hating being on Prozac, I enjoy watching robot-centric science-fiction cartoons like Transformers, drawing, role-playing, playing video games like those in the Sonic and Mario series, and ROM hacking Sonic and Super Mario World.
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Welcome to A.C.
Gamma V said:
I've been on a couple other autism forums, but became inactive partially due to my Autism Shame clashing with their perceived message of Autism Pride.
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What are you hoping to take away from an autism forum? Most are intended for their members to help and encourage each other to make peace with our neuro-diversity.

Sure, we commiserate about our shared weaknesses along the way, but I know of none that hold up shame as an ideal. If autism is truly shameful (of itself), how could we ever hope to be relieved of [that shame]?

I believe that new shame is a consequence of making poor decisions, whether we are NT or ND. Old shame is just the accumulation of that shame which we haven't yet learned how to deal with effectively. That, too, is true for both NTs & NDs.

Once you effectively deal with that shame, you can begin to embrace the self that you were intended to be. We are still as mortal, fallible and subject to mental & physical illnesses as NTs are, but we are not exceptionally so. Yes, we have weaknesses where they have strengths, but we also have strengths where they have weaknesses.

TLDR; Are you saying that you want to cling to your Autism Shame? If so, to what end?
 
Welcome to AF.jpg
 
Gamma V said:
@Crossbreed I'm hoping that spending more time on an Autism forum will help me overcome that shame.
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I think there are two parts to that shame:
  1. Having the sense that you can improve some of those shame-inducing behaviors and taking steps to do so. (A forum like this can help with that.)
  2. As we improve our game, it usually becomes painfully clear that we cannot attain just our own vivid ideals, let alone those of somebody else. All of humanity is in that boat. If there is to be any solution for that, it must be other-worldly.
 
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@Crossbreed You're sort of on the right track about the first source of shame. I'm both personally aware of, and being made further aware of, my deficiencies every day. Having to take a prescription medication to control my outbursts, which are more frequent near my menstrual period, but medically determined not to be related to any hormonal imbalance, is one of the biggest sources of shame and misgivings that I may have about the authenticity of the Autism Rights Movement. I believe that, if I didn't have autism, I wouldn't need the medication.
 
Gamma V said:
My name is Amber Vasami. I'm a 33-year-old legally blind woman who also suffers from Asperger's Syndrome. I've been on a couple other autism forums, but became inactive partially due to my Autism Shame clashing with their perceived message of Autism Pride. I finally decided to join my third autism forum after coming to an old thread on sugar addiction, which I'm also struggling with right now.

When NOT being overwhelmed with Autism Shame, hating myself for having a sugar addiction, and hating being on Prozac, I enjoy watching robot-centric science-fiction cartoons like Transformers, drawing, role-playing, playing video games like those in the Sonic and Mario series, and ROM hacking Sonic and Super Mario World.
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Welcom. Being an aspie can be a pain but it's also awesome. I like drawing, play video games and Mario too.

I take prozac but I feel okay about taking it.
 
Gamma V said:
Having to take a prescription medication to control my outbursts, which are more frequent near my menstrual period, but medically determined not to be related to any hormonal imbalance,...
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How is that not different than someone who has to use Sensodyne toothpaste for dentin hypersensitivity?

What many here have discovered is that our hypersensory features have proven to be beneficial many times, even if they can be overwhelming at other times. I have resorted to using noise-cancelling headphones when my kids were screaming. (Not to ignore them, but to take the edge off as I saw after their needs.)
 
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Gamma V said:
@Crossbreed You're sort of on the right track about the first source of shame. I'm both personally aware of, and being made further aware of, my deficiencies every day. Having to take a prescription medication to control my outbursts, which are more frequent near my menstrual period, but medically determined not to be related to any hormonal imbalance, is one of the biggest sources of shame and misgivings that I may have about the authenticity of the Autism Rights Movement. I believe that, if I didn't have autism, I wouldn't need the medication.
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from medical evidence ive memorised( and my memory is not photographic) says any human female has mood swings which can be rage or depression near to menstruation
 
Because you used the word 'shame', I just had to look it up (umm, compulsive much?) LOL.

This page: Wikipedia "Shame" has a link to this page Wikipedia "Social Stigma"

From what you have said, you are referencing both types: failing to meet external or internal ideals and social-cultural stigma associated with being on the spectrum.

Is that right?
 
@wight Yes, I am. Having to live with parents at 33 is also a source of shame. Due to having so little income from disability payments, there's little chance I can live on my own. The mere FACT that I can't live on my own is a source of shame, as is the prospect of having to go to a group home, or worse, a NURSING home after my mother passes.
 
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