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They Laughed at Me

Butterfly88

Butterfly88

Butterfly Queen
V.I.P Member
An internship lady came into my college class today. She called on me to use as an example. She said something about me having an internship at her office. I said "No I didn't". Then I said something else, I don't remember what. Then she said "hypothetically". "Oh" I said and people started laughing. I told my mom and she thought it was funny too. I'm not finding it funny, I just take things to literal when I'm upset and it's annoying.
 
I have never been comfortable with being laughed at! Even if I understand why the humor is there, it is an excruciatingly uncomfortable moment, and seems to go on forever. Probably those people who laughed fully expected you to laugh, too but the timing is off; maybe you will find it funny much later but not at that particular moment!
 
garnetflower13 said:
I have never been comfortable with being laughed at! Even if I understand why the humor is there, it is an excruciatingly uncomfortable moment, and seems to go on forever. Probably those people who laughed fully expected you to laugh, too but the timing is off; maybe you will find it funny much later but not at that particular moment!
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Exactly. In real time I wouldn't likely have processed that any differently. But later....I might have gotten it. At least it didn't involve one being on the spectrum. I'm assuming the person just randomly chose her.
 
I think she does have some grounds to feel upset. Events like this are what tend to shape the opinions of others about us. This event could lead some to think the OP is 'ditsy'.
 
Yeah the person did just randomly choose me. I guess I do have grounds to be upset I just wish I wasn't upset so easily. I don't I'll ever be comfortable being laughed at either.
 
Butterfly88 said:
Yeah the person did just randomly choose me. I guess I do have grounds to be upset I just wish I wasn't upset so easily. I don't I'll ever be comfortable being laughed at either.
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I'm thinking many of us would feel the same. We don't like being picked on....even when it has no malice.

I for one freely admit it. I have "baggage" along such lines. Definitely don't like it when I feel ridiculed- even if that wasn't and isn't the intention.
 
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For me, ridicule is like a snowball fight. It can be fun as long as it remains good-natured, but stops being so if/when somebody turns mean. I freely admit that I have a ditzy side and it can be a source of humor. (It is probably most comparable to engineer humor/literal thinking.) We all make mistakes. Some mistakes are just funnier than others... :p

I also know that I am technically and intellectually capable. One side doesn't take away from the other and I'm okay with that.
 
One thing in this instance that resonates with me is having to negotiate social interactions in real-time. If I'm detached in such a situation, I have time to think about it. Enough perhaps to draw alternate conclusions.

But when I'm a direct participant, in real-time I'm on the spot. Where my thought processes and ability to effectively communicate can inadvertently get skewed. It might explain why the "Socratic Method" of teaching always terrified me. :eek:

To me this is one of the cornerstones of my being on the spectrum of autism. I can do all kinds of multitasking in real-time. As long as communication with other people isn't involved.

Probably why I feel relatively comfortable posting online outside of chat. Simple point here. It's not in real-time! :cool:
 
I completely understand, and it's not nice when we are laughed at or made fun of.

It's confusing taking things too literally isn't it. This is one of my biggest 'problems'. In fact that's what ended my marriage (mainly - he's also a sociopath) of just six weeks. My husband so-called jokingly said he'd set his vicious pit bull dog - that was crated due to its aggressiveness - onto my soft labradoodle. He said it was a joke at the time, but my adrenaline kicked in, I panicked and bolted out of the room with my dogs in tow.

Bearing in mind, his dog attacked and bit both my dogs several times previous to this - I thought him 'joking' about this was not at all funny and extremely inappropriate. He didn't agree, refused to apologise and there was no way forward for us and I left him a few days later. This was actually the 'straw that broke the camel's back'.

He knew about my aspies, supposedly 'understood' me and even allowing for me taking things far too literal, he still thought it was an OK thing to say to me.

I think we need to be less harsh on ourselves and realise we will always take things literally and try to allow for it. Although, at the time, that seems impossible. Lots of enjoyable pursuits, watching TV, reading a book can be spoilt by my literal thinking and I try to force myself to stop.

Butterfly88, I hope you are feeling a little better about it today.
 
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clearly said:
I completely understand, and it's not nice when we are laughed at or made fun of.

It's confusing taking things too literally isn't it. This is one of my biggest 'problems'. In fact that's what ended my marriage (mainly - he's also a sociopath) of just six weeks. My husband so-called jokingly said he'd set his vicious pit bull dog - that was crated due to its aggressiveness - onto my soft labradoodle. He said it was a joke at the time, but my adrenaline kicked in, I panicked and bolted out of the room with my dogs in tow.

Bearing in mind, his dog attacked and bit both my dogs several times previous to this - I thought him 'joking' about this was not at all funny and extremely inappropriate. He didn't agree, refused to apologise and there was no way forward for us and I left him a few days later. This was actually the 'straw that broke the camel's back'.

He knew about my aspies, supposedly 'understood' me and even allowing for me taking things far too literal, he still thought it was an OK thing to say to me.

I think we need to be less harsh on ourselves and realise we will always take things literally and try to allow for it. Although, at the time, that seems impossible. Lots of enjoyable pursuits, watching TV, reading a book can be spoilt by my literal thinking and I try to force myself to stop.

Butterfly88, I hope you are feeling a little better about it today.
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Ummm.. I think the sociopathic behaviour is a dealbreaker.
 
OK, so I think that maybe you are misinterpreting a little. In the NT world, what you did would be interpreted as being intentionally difficult to be funny.

No one would want to be singled out in the way you were. They were all relieved they weren't standing up in front and thought your "no I don't", "hypothetically", "Oh" exchange was awesome.
 
pax said:
Ummm.. I think the sociopathic behaviour is a dealbreaker.
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You're right, it is a deal-breaker. The psychopathy didn't materialise until the day we were married, then his mask fell off, massively. Previously to that, he was a very nice person and I trusted him. Well, he pretended to be a nice person.

(Money, mine, was his motive).

I live and learn.
 
People laugh easily at the discomfort of others. It allows them to shift the focus on possible ridicule from themselves to someone else. No matter what one's problem is, being laughed at is uncomfortable, and even if one is not over-sensitive, it will still be uncomfortable because it involves uninvited, and in fact, unpleasant focus.

People will laugh at anything perceived as uncommon or unnatural, from Down's syndrome to stuttering, but if they do not laugh with someone then they laugh at them, and that is unacceptable. Even if someone laughs because something happening to someone else makes them uncomfortable, it is still unacceptable because it involves ridicule.

From my perspective this type of scenario is black or white, i.e. acceptable or unacceptable, and for me it is unacceptable because it unearths the cruel side of society. Period.
 
It might be possible to make yourself comfortable with it if you forced a laugh, after a while you might be able to take it more lightly. It's not easy to condition yourself to things like this but it could help.
 
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