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Therapist Do's and Don'ts

i have been with my therapist for 8 years now. i lover her dearly! I get so mad and upsset when i have to cancel an appointment because we only talk once a week. The best thing she can do is what she does now: agrees with me, laughs with me, makes me feel like im not an idiot and encourages me and believes that i can do anything.

I hate those therapists that instantly are like "i've been there. i grew up in a bad neighborhood, i was depressed blah blah blah" dude, just stop! you dont know jack about what i go through! lol
 
Thank you for your willingness to understand more about this. In my experiences with therapists it seemed repeatedly like an immediate generalization was made. And that I was put into a category. I definitely agree individual therapy is the best route. The details of each patient. There own life experiences. Alfred Adler, Milton erikson and Carl Jung all all stressed this point. I also remember always thinking I'm not being understood, how can someone who has never experienced the things I'm going through help me to understand what I'm going through? I found what helped was, a little guidance, and someone to be present and seeking to understand me. And lastly, not giving me the answer, meaning, I would get diagnosed with something and managed with medications and visits. It was truth that helped me understand and get better. For example: I was once diagnosed bipolar, I was told what it is and this is why I have long manic periods and long depressive periods. When I researched more I realized my guidance in life was from two people my parents, one who would go crazy when dealing with life and one who isolated and became depressed. This was my program for dealing with life. Two opposite ways of dealing with life and I was nurtured by both. Long story short I realize this is how my mind programmed early in life so the result now is not my fault. I was never given that answer. And this is when the healing began. Nobody showed me it wasn't my fault. I was given the chance to choose to take responsibility for my own life once the problems of the past were revealed to me as not my fault. I became conscious of my own existence, and relieved of the existence that was imprinted on me earlier in life.
 
I generally had good experiences with therapists, but it seems like whenever I start talking about my bad relationship with my father, they seem to jump on that and starts to focus on that rather than my current stress.
Yes, my father was part of blame for where I am now, but I think we can't blame everything on bad childhood.
 
Ha! Some of us have extremely pictoral minds (literal, visual thinkers). Just envisioned a well-dressed therapist determinedly following a client down the street, into shops, on the bus. :cool: At least you didn't say "I try to keep my eye on them.":eek:

ASD can be funny! :D
 
Warmheart said:
Ha! Some of us have extremely pictoral minds (literal, visual thinkers). Just envisioned a well-dressed therapist determinedly following a client down the street, into shops, on the bus. :cool: At least you didn't say "I try to keep my eye on them.":eek:

ASD can be funny! :D
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Which caused my mind to turn the therapist in a Sherlock Holmes in a plaid hat and coat with a magnifying glass kept trained on the patient at all times. :yum:
 
Vanilla said:
Thanks again for your interest. I don't mean to sound like I am accusing yourself, or all specialists, so forgive me if it does come across that way, but there is one reoccurring issue that I think is quite important for me to bring up.

While I have yet to be diagnosed, I have read many complaints from quite a few of our female members, of some specialists being unable to recognise their AS.

Some of the common complaints have been the following:
  • Specialist informed that the client appeared too "normal" to have AS.
  • Specialist analysed, by comparing the client to the typical male behavioural traits related to AS, but did not seem to recognise the more prominent female behavioural traits.
  • Specialist advised that only men can have AS, or advised that AS in women is extremely rare, and therefore dismissed the case.
  • Men, who are more feminine-minded, or who have adopted a female gender, tend to share in these issues.
Of course, I can not say for certain that all of these complaints were made by those who definitely have AS, as I am no specialist, but it seems to be an issue that is quite common, on a global scale. As a self-diagnosed woman, I can appreciate how this issue can be upsetting; especially to those who have had to struggle in life, or to those who have had to spend large sums of money, only to feel that their disgnoses was not accurate to their own circumstances.
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I very much agree!

I was told a couple of months ago (at the age of 28), that I'm on the spectrum.
I feel a need to know more but find it hard to find stuff about AS women..

*yay me for posting my first post after sneaking around awhile*
 
Dan Metevier said:
I don't know that I'm qualified to respond, but I have found the books written by Rudy Simone to be helpful. Also, Tony Attwood has a book out on female AS. May be worth a look.
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I actually bought two books online by Rudy Simone, which I received a couple of days ago - can't wait to start reading. :)
 
Dan Metevier said:
If it's not too self-serving, I would be interested in your experiences where you worked with a therapist that you either really liked or really disliked. No names of therapists please.

What is the best thing a therapist can do?
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Listen well, and have and open mind.

Dan Metevier said:
What is the worst thing a therapist can do?
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Not start a debate about whether or not they believe that I am Aspie!
 
Unfortunately my experience in therapy was not a good one.
Firstly she wanted to know why I wasn't taking anti-depressants, I tried to explain that I'd been taking them for twelve months with no improvement and lots of extremely bad side effects. She told me that I needed to take them for longer than 6 weeks to see any improvements, really your not listining, I've just said I'd been on them twelve months, listening is literally your job. She also dismissed the negative side effects saying fatigue was not due to the tablets as they had a stimulant in. It took a quick glance at the box to see that wasn't true.
She only gave advice that made my sensory issues worse, like putting on background music, I can't hear what people are saying and it makes me angry. Also I have procrastination and organisation issues, teeth brushing Is one of them. Her advice was just get on with things, thanks but I already knew that, my problem is I cant. One of my friends fell out with me and assumed my partner and I didn't have autism and our actual problem was drug or alcohol problems, I told her this and explained it was a bad judgement because we were teetotal. My therapist said I should ring said friend and apologise. But we haven't done anything wrong! Think my friend should give us an apology. She didn't believe I had been bullied in the past and said it was all in my head. Sorry but you can't imagine bullying- especially physical violence. Different if I'd ever been psychotic, but I haven't. She kept asking open questions( just don't have the ability to respond to those) and asking when was the last time I felt normal. I tried to explain anxiety and insomnia had been life long. She didn't seem to get it. The worst was when she diagnosed me with health anxiety, because I was very worried about his health, she told me not take him to the doctors as this too was all in my head, he was later diagnosed with Mutiple sclerosis!!! He literally missed out on very important medication. So bitter about it. Sorry about the rant, really wanted to get this off my chest. I wast officially diagnosed with As at the time, and actually it did help me realise maybe general anxiety and depression wasn't my only problem. So I'm thankful for that.
 
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