The purpose(s) of talking...

[Beverly]

And to me the weather is information that is easily, readily and, frequently available to everyone so, it should be common knowledge. Talking about it is not going to change it so, exactly why is it worth discussing at all? If someone is tired of the snow and, whishes the sun would shine more then, why not say that instead of giving me a weather report which I could have and, probably did get online, on the news, in the paper and, on my cell phone before I even got my first cup of coffee for the day.

I know you aren't unintelligent but, that's how telling me stuff I already know and, that's obvious I should know comes off to me. Now you want to discuss convection, single cell super cell storms, isobars and such - I'm in, that's interesting, it's weather but it's interesting weather. All of the models, histories and data that goes into a forecast is fascinating and, even after two hours of scientific analysis, it's still just an educated guess as to what the coming days will bring. (See that's the Aspie way to discuss the weather, and if you showed interest, I'd explain how clouds of each type form, which types are indicative of what sort of storms, the differs between single cell super cell, tropical and, normal thunder storms, how thunder snow happens, what conditions are required to spawn tornados, why a tornado is different from a cyclone, etc....)

I don't share an understanding of what is not spoken aloud, I don't presume to guess either. To me if people meant more, they would say more and, if they simply tell me the weather that has happened, or what the forecast says, I wonder why they even bothered. I know what the weather has been like and, I can get a forecast for myself. It's information but, information I already had, nothing new to share. Sure I could parrot the forecast too but all that tells you is that I saw, heard and/or read it before we began speaking and, I'd be repeating what you told me. Why? I mean if you care about knowing the weather then, don't you want to learn why and how it happens and how it's forecast, what constitutes a proper weather observation, how to tell by the type of clouds if a tornado is likely or, if it's likely to merge into a single cell super cell, what high and low pressure really means, how a front in defined, what it looks like of both satellite and radar and, why NexRad is better than previous weather radar was? I did, so I took classes to learn because knowing and understanding the forecast and, the weather that's happening now is useful and interesting.

 

[Rayner]

I'm the same way, it's such a waste time and what ever the weather it's not like we can change it anyway.

And to me the weather is information that is easily, readily and, frequently available to everyone so, it should be common knowledge. Talking about it is not going to change it so, exactly why is it worth discussing at all? If someone is tired of the snow and, whishes the sun would shine more then, why not say that instead of giving me a weather report which I could have and, probably did get online, on the news, in the paper and, on my cell phone before I even got my first cup of coffee for the day.

I know you aren't unintelligent but, that's how telling me stuff I already know and, that's obvious I should know comes off to me. Now you want to discuss convection, single cell super cell storms, isobars and such - I'm in, that's interesting, it's weather but it's interesting weather. All of the models, histories and data that goes into a forecast is fascinating and, even after two hours of scientific analysis, it's still just an educated guess as to what the coming days will bring. (See that's the Aspie way to discuss the weather, and if you showed interest, I'd explain how clouds of each type form, which types are indicative of what sort of storms, the differs between single cell super cell, tropical and, normal thunder storms, how thunder snow happens, what conditions are required to spawn tornados, why a tornado is different from a cyclone, etc....)

I don't share an understanding of what is not spoken aloud, I don't presume to guess either. To me if people meant more, they would say more and, if they simply tell me the weather that has happened, or what the forecast says, I wonder why they even bothered. I know what the weather has been like and, I can get a forecast for myself. It's information but, information I already had, nothing new to share. Sure I could parrot the forecast too but all that tells you is that I saw, heard and/or read it before we began speaking and, I'd be repeating what you told me. Why? I mean if you care about knowing the weather then, don't you want to learn why and how it happens and how it's forecast, what constitutes a proper weather observation, how to tell by the type of clouds if a tornado is likely or, if it's likely to merge into a single cell super cell, what high and low pressure really means, how a front in defined, what it looks like of both satellite and radar and, why NexRad is better than previous weather radar was? I did, so I took classes to learn because knowing and understanding the forecast and, the weather that's happening now is useful and interesting.

 

[LoveDream]

And to me the weather is information that is easily, readily and, frequently available to everyone so, it should be common knowledge. Talking about it is not going to change it so, exactly why is it worth discussing at all? If someone is tired of the snow and, whishes the sun would shine more then, why not say that instead of giving me a weather report which I could have and, probably did get online, on the news, in the paper and, on my cell phone before I even got my first cup of coffee for the day.

I know you aren't unintelligent but, that's how telling me stuff I already know and, that's obvious I should know comes off to me. Now you want to discuss convection, single cell super cell storms, isobars and such - I'm in, that's interesting, it's weather but it's interesting weather. All of the models, histories and data that goes into a forecast is fascinating and, even after two hours of scientific analysis, it's still just an educated guess as to what the coming days will bring. (See that's the Aspie way to discuss the weather, and if you showed interest, I'd explain how clouds of each type form, which types are indicative of what sort of storms, the differs between single cell super cell, tropical and, normal thunder storms, how thunder snow happens, what conditions are required to spawn tornados, why a tornado is different from a cyclone, etc....)

I don't share an understanding of what is not spoken aloud, I don't presume to guess either. To me if people meant more, they would say more and, if they simply tell me the weather that has happened, or what the forecast says, I wonder why they even bothered. I know what the weather has been like and, I can get a forecast for myself. It's information but, information I already had, nothing new to share. Sure I could parrot the forecast too but all that tells you is that I saw, heard and/or read it before we began speaking and, I'd be repeating what you told me. Why? I mean if you care about knowing the weather then, don't you want to learn why and how it happens and how it's forecast, what constitutes a proper weather observation, how to tell by the type of clouds if a tornado is likely or, if it's likely to merge into a single cell super cell, what high and low pressure really means, how a front in defined, what it looks like of both satellite and radar and, why NexRad is better than previous weather radar was? I did, so I took classes to learn because knowing and understanding the forecast and, the weather that's happening now is useful and interesting.

We don't view it as "telling you stuff you already know" and therefore, our intentions are not to make it seem that you are incapable of finding out the weather or the information yourself. We aren't trying to "parrot" the forecast. Why is our actions so negative? This is not our intent. We are just trying to communicate in the best way we know how.

We would find your weather knowledge very interesting and that would be a great thing for you to share, when we bring up the weather. Instead of trying to figure out "why", we told you forecast, share your experience with us. "Oh, you said it's going to snow tomorrow. Okay, well you know how the weatherman aren't always right? Well, it's harder to predict the forecast than you'd think. I took a weather class and I learned that...." We will listen and enjoy this conversation.

And yes, we care about the weather in the sense of how it effects us and our lives but that doesn't mean we wouldn't want to know the "scientific information".

It's just not innate for us to view, process and explain everything in the most "logical and informational" way. The closest we get to this is in academia. We just communicate differently. But, that's okay. Just communicate back to us in your way.

 

[Rayner]

We don't view it as "telling you stuff you already know" and therefore, our intentions are not to make it seem that you are incapable of finding out the weather or the information yourself. We aren't trying to "parrot" the forecast. Why is our actions so negative? This is not our intent. We are just trying to communicate in the best way we know how.

We would find your weather knowledge very interesting and that would be a great thing for you to share, when we bring up the weather. Instead of trying to figure out "why", we told you forecast, share your experience with us. "Oh, you said it's going to snow tomorrow. Okay, well you know how the weatherman aren't always right? Well, it's harder to predict the forecast than you'd think. I took a weather class and I learned that...." We will listen and enjoy this conversation.

And yes, we care about the weather in the sense of how it effects us and our lives but that doesn't mean we wouldn't want to know the "scientific information".

It's just not innate for us to view, process and explain everything in the most "logical and informational" way. The closest we get to this is in academia. We just communicate differently. But, that's okay. Just communicate back to us in your way.

Being an NT doesn't make you stupid or inferior, I'm glad there are people like you that are trying to learn more about people on the autism specterum. I'm quite autistic myself, so I wonder what's like being an NT. If it's possible can you explain that.

 

[Beverly]

Delete please.

 

[unsurewhattoname]

Delete please.

Who delete what?

 

[LoveDream]

Being an NT doesn't make you stupid or inferior, I'm glad there are people like you that are trying to learn more about people on the autism specterum. I'm quite autistic myself, so I wonder what's like being an NT. If it's possible can you explain that.

Thank you for the appreciation and encouragement, it really means a lot. I'd love to share my experiences with you, anyway you'd like. If you'd like to message me, that's fine or we can start a new thread. Whatever you'd prefer. I am enjoying the free flow of information and the openness of everyone.

 

[Rayner]

Thank you for the appreciation and encouragement, it really means a lot. I'd love to share my experiences with you, anyway you'd like. If you'd like to message me, that's fine or we can start a new thread. Whatever you'd prefer. I am enjoying the free flow of information and the openness of everyone.

I just made a thread you can share your experiences on. I like the free flow of information also

 

[Justagal]

I think that's a great idea, I'd love the opportunity to have this sort of open discussion with an NT. So much scope for learning through that sort of open, honest interaction without fear of getting 'that look' (or however it translates into text) when we ask, "Wait, what just happened here? What did I do?"

Possibly a really stupid question (I'm fairly new to the site), how do I find the new thread?

 

[LoveDream]

I think that's a great idea, I'd love the opportunity to have this sort of open discussion with an NT. So much scope for learning through that sort of open, honest interaction without fear of getting 'that look' (or however it translates into text) when we ask, "Wait, what just happened here? What did I do?"

Possibly a really stupid question (I'm fairly new to the site), how do I find the new thread?

Follow the link love: https://www.aspiescentral.com/threads/what-is-it-like-being-neurotypical-or-aspie.15158/

 

[Justagal]

/forehead slap/ Thankyou! I'll get the hang of this site one day

 

[LoveDream]

I just clicked on Rayner's name and looked under recent activities, so I cheated too lol. I am not an expert at site navigation, either.

 

[DogwoodTree]

One thing I would like to know is how people know what to say if they're not communicating for the purpose of transmitting specific information.

On an intellectual level, I get that they want to just spend time together interacting, but I struggle with the mechanics of that. I feel like I'm supposed to go mining for information that they want to talk about but won't tell me they want to talk about it...somehow I'm just supposed to know what to ask so they can share what they want to say. So I start throwing out questions to dig for that hidden information, but then it seems the questions aren't hitting the mark, and they start to withdraw or look annoyed or whatever.

I try to remember details about people so I can ask about those things later, but I so rarely pull that off well. People act like I'm digging for info that's too personal, or maybe it's old info and they've moved on already, and then I look like a dummy. It's so much easier if there's specific info to be shared, and say it, and then go about your business. Why all the digging? Why not just say what you have to say instead of passively waiting for me to figure out what to ask you so you can then say what you want to say?

 

[Beverly]

DogwoodTree Don't ask questions, mention something about yourself, mundane but, relatable.

"I'm thinking about getting a new car."
"I think I need to find a better paying job."
"Maybe I'll have a cookout, or go to the river/lake/ocean if it doesn't rain this weekend."
"What do you think, should I get my hair cut short?"

Are all good ones to get them talking about themselves and things they like to do and, everyone (well NTs at least) love talking about themselves. Then, let them one up you, pretend not to know something or, make up a story about failing at something they di well and are boasting about. Finally, compliment or praise them, then ask to exchange numbers so you can text or call and get together later. (you never actually have to contact them again but, you've now made one heck of a good impression and, they think they like you. - All a part of the social game, and that's all it is, a game. Playing well makes you look good and, you never know when looking good to others is going to get you exactly what you need or want.)

No it isn't fun, not a way for us to connect, it's pretty pointless and a little dishonest but, that's how it goes. You make them feel good, they like you and, for you it was a meaningless game but, if you left a good impression and, left them smiling or laughing WITH, not at you, then you won that round. Win a few and, that's good for a favor down the road, enough favors and, they get to be bigger favors that get you ahead further. And I know, "What do I get out of it?" is a rather foreign way for most of us to think but, I've learned that that is exactly how the majority of people think and, If I'm to succeed in their world, I have to learn to do it on their terms, like it or not. it's just a game, a tool for me to use to accomplish my goals in life. I use it when I need it and, put it away when I can.

 

[fuzz]

I have autism and I have learnt a way to connect that works well for me, and I thought it might be worth explaining.

You have thoughts about things all the time, things that you want to spend more time thinking about. These are some of the things that can make a connection. The other person is in a similar position, and they too have thoughts about topics.

Talking about these thoughts is like having a hand of cards and laying the thoughts out one by one. In a good conversation the other person will listen so that they take in important details of the card or thought. They then will often make there own respectful observation about it. You will either gain some reassurance that your thinking was correct, or you learn something that only another person could have told you (because they have experiences that you do not).

That exchange is what I value. It's not just the learning or the reassurance that I get, it's also the way it is gone about, from the respect and care the other person shows, to the patience and thought they are putting into it. It makes me feel good to know there is someone out there I can share my thoughts with.

You do the same for the other person too. I think it's about you both gaining more from life then you can on your own.

 

[paloftoon]

I'm not sure how I learned to be social. I still apparently say the wrong things every now and then, or quite a bit. I let it bother me less unless someone says something about it that I didn't notice, usually family, but once in awhile, from a loudmouth too. When someone says something, I used to try to defend myself, but I try not to argue now. I just try to be aware and move on. Also, I won't actively listen to a person sometimes if they've done that to me now. If they complain, I let them know that they need to give me the time of day when I speak. What's important to one person is not necessarily important to another person- every deserves a chance and "a minute" of being listened to. It's hard for me to listen to people when they have speech impediments and when they need to get to the point but waaay over-explain things. I hate being cut off too. Sometimes I don't notice it or get too tired to comment.