The Power of a Positive Attitude is real

[Rocco]

The Power of a Positive Attitude is a real thing. I struggled through over 30 years with a negative perspective. I had a Negative outlook, cycling negative thoughts and memories, constantly assumed negative intentions in other folks, I was a literal bundle of negative energy.

No amount of self help effort or talking to other people could quite break that negative thought and feeling process. Halfway through my 38th year of life I chose to just stop the drama. I convinced myself that the world is not against me nor is it out to get me. I realized life is what you make it and that you do get back what you put into your experiences. I started listening to positive affirmation subliminal videos because I don’t like reading, speaking, nor hearing positive affirmations and I am honestly too lazy to make the effort beyond starting a video in the background.

Using the “Baby Steps” concept from the movie What about Bob? I was able to focus on one tiny detail at a time. For example, recognizing other drivers are not intentionally provoking me, there is no need to rush, things have a way of working themselves out over time, the horrible things I imagine will happen never quite actually manifest, Smile at everyone, drive nicer, speak kinder to other, use good manners, I stopped assuming negative intentions, I avoided the news and any social media, I started watching more wholesome movies and avoiding violence and anger in media like movies and music. Every day I challenge myself to one more positive act or thought, then another and another until it becomes second nature.

I listen to a lot of mellow and pleasant music, slow paced; classical, indie rock, classic rock, reggae.
I Look for the silver lining in every situation and try to find something positive to focus on, in any difficulty. Even a basic setback or confrontation Is an opportunity to master self control or to find a benefit.

For examples; stuck in traffic? When it’s safe look at bumper stickers or out of state plates, look at trees or flowers or cracks in walls.
make a mistake? Learn from it and move on, don’t dwell on the negative aspect, instead grasp the opportunity to learn what not to do in the future.
Encounter and angry person or tense situation? Focus on yourself and maintaining your cool or self control. Do not all others to control how you feel, your mind is powerful enough to overcome nearly any adversity if you apply your self.

I learned to recognize indicators of my feelings because I usually don’t immediately understand my feelings. Ques like a racing heart, growing frustration, impatience, sadness, depression, excitement; all these things now trigger an immediate introspective look at myself and what I am doing in that moment.

I recognize the my feelings are important and vital, as are my emotions, yet there is a time and place for everything and the way I feel is NOT always important in every situation and does Not Always need to be expressed. This part is a lot trickier because figuring out exactly when and when not to express oneself is not black and white, instead it’s a large grey area.

The greatest thing I have done for my health recently was having food allergy and environmental allergy testing done. I learned I am allergic to a lot of foods I have eaten most of my life. I immediately stopped eating many favorite vegetables and meats, and stopped eating everything on my allergy list. This has had a tremendous impact on my daily living, emotions, energy, interactions with others, attitudes, and sleep patterns. I had no idea it was even possible to be allergic to things like rice, grapes, onions, broccoli, all furry animals, watermelon, banana, spinach, cucumber, most fish, pork! The loss of bacon and sausage was emotional.

It is still hard to explain all the positive changes and things that keep happening to me, but 8+ months the into this effort have radically altered my life for the better. I feel happier and healthier. I am more confident and composed than ever, social interactions have dramatically improved, dating is more fun and successful, and other people have pointed out and noticed the differences and positive changes in my life.

Anyhow, as if being on spectrum wasn’t unique enough, having some odd food and environmental allergies, and other various qualities I decided F-it! I am like a unicorn, rare and special, and I can rejoice in that I am not like most people. I take comfort in that

In conclusion, get some allergy tests done if you can afford it. Thomas Hall and Minds In Unison on Youtube host FREE positive affirmation subliminal videos and details on each video clearly state the phrases used. BE POSITIVE. THINK POSITIVE. Do at least one of these conclusion suggestions and your life WILL IMPROVE.

Peace, Love, and Happy Thoughts to all.



Best Wishes,
Rocco

 

[menander]

With all due respect, it never helped me. Hope has been an evil force, promising relief that never comes. I tried to think positive and pray and all that------FAIL

 

[Rocco]

With all due respect, it never helped me. Hope has been an evil force, promising relief that never comes. I tried to think positive and pray and all that------FAIL

what are you saying never helped you?

 

[Daydreamer]

Although I mostly agree with your sentiment, I would issue caution. I think that there are two main types of positivity; helpful and toxic. When you're stuck in a negative mindset, it can seem impossible to escape. I know that when people told me to just be positive, I didn't think I could. People told me to smile and be happy. I thought that the closest I could do was merely act happy and I was under the impression that everyone did that. My belief was that no one was truly happy and that everyone just acted that way to function in society.

I learnt to hide my problems because I didn't want to be a burden, that I should just solve them all on my own. That it was bad to show sadness and that I was somehow a failure for not maintaining positive attitude. I remember seeing a post somewhere that said something along the lines of "the answer to pessimism isn't optimism, it's comfort" and I think about that a lot. Being told to just be happy isn't particularly helpful when someone is hurting. They might just think that they've failed because they can't seem to be happy. Since they're not sure how to do that. Especially in a rough situation.

Admittedly, I got so caught up in presenting as happy that I neglected finding it. I remember making a thread on another forum years ago where I asked for advice on how to do a better job at acting happy. Then, a member asked me two very important questions- Why are you acting that way instead of being? What's stopping you from actually being happy?

I'd never really thought about it before. Happiness just never seemed like a real possibility. My depression had dragged me down so far that I'd lost perspective. There will likely be times in a person's life where maintaining a positive outlook just isn't possible and is in fact unhealthy to try to force. It's important to note that positivity / optimism should never be about ignoring the negative. Since when you actively try to ignore it, things can start to spiral. Having negative emotions and thoughts is not a flaw in itself. Unfortunately, there are people out there who try to peddle that toxic kind of positivity. The type that tries to blame people for not being positive enough. Which of course makes the person feel worse ..."Wow, I'm so hopeless, I can't even get being happy right!"

Personally, I think that the healthiest way to be, for your mental health, is to acknowledge that there is good and bad in the world. To allow a part of yourself to be negative, but allow the other to be positive. You don't have to be optimistic about the future, it's enough to simply be curious about what's next. Happiness is often simply a temporary state of being, much like sadness is. It shouldn't be an end goal. One of my favourite sayings is "Prepare for the worst, hope for the best". An acknowledgement that sometimes things don't go to plan but we can still make the most of it and bounce back. We also have to acknowledge that there are events that we simply can't prepare for. That there are too many variables in the world and that you'd likely lose your mind if you ever tried. Life always contains an element of risk. It's terrifying and fascinating.

Anyway, apologies for length. I got carried away there. Disclaimer: I'm not a psychologist by any means so take what I write with that in mind. I may have missed the point of this, but hopefully this post is a useful addition to this thread.

 

[Metalhead]

In my current experience, I am learning that life is fluid, and just because life sucked for me in the past, that does not mean that life is to suck for me today.

I have obsessive tape loops in my head that like to remind me of past trauma and marginalization. I just have to keep telling myself one simple sentence. Thank God that chapter of my life is over.

And I also am learning that there is a lot to be grateful for in my life these days. If one has a roof over his head, clothes on his back and food on his table, and if one is able to go wherever he pleases within reason, that means he has more to be grateful for than too many other people on the planet. Not saying this to be minimizing, but getting outside of one’s own head is often necessary when pessimism becomes pervasive.

 

[Rocco]

I am so grateful that I embraced positivity in 2020. It helped me through several rough patches. My devotion to gratitude and positivity was renewed last year and has served me so well since then. I still allow my to have negative feelings when they surface, but I have learned to identify them quickly and pivot away from ruminating and dwelling on negative things.

The feeling of inner peace and balance has amplified repeatedly since I incorporated daily gratitude. I find that the more gratitude I express buffers me from excess negativity.

I am so happy and grateful now that good things are happening to me in increasing quantities, from multiple sources, on a continuous basis!

Best wishes to you.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I didn't realize this was an old thread.

Life for me has been better since I started practicing gratitude. There is no condition in which something positive cannot be found. The dark may overwhelm the light, but not forever and not always. It's still there. I've been practicing gratitude for about 40 years. It is pretty automatic by this time.

After gratitude, I have worked on practicing forgiveness because this is what a wise woman suggested to me. That's a whole different topic (because the definition of forgiveness in this practice is different than usually understood.) It is definitely a work in progress for me, but definitely worth while.

 

[Cryptid]

I have found that removing all the negativity from my life has done wonders for my emotional health. This includes avoiding threads started by people who seems to focus only on the negativity in their lives.

Job sucks? Parents yelling? Loud chewing? No friends?

I know these are real issues and, for many, dominant issues as well; but I've stopped trying to lift people up who seem determined to drag me down to their level instead.

And I feel much better for it.

 

[velociraptor]

I have a lot of health problems. I was born with a major one: Crippled heart (congenital heart defect). I've never been able to do intense aerobic activities like others. I couldn't play team sports in grade school. I can't jog, run, snowshoe, or cross country ski.

I can still walk 20 km a day no problem. I can paddle a kayak on a river. I can paddle board on a river or lake. I can do archery. I can shovel snow. Rather than being upset about the things I can't do, I try and celebrate the things I can do and do well. I also try to remember that there are people who cannot do what I take for granted and to be grateful for what I do have.

I have been active in our town's snow angel program this winter. Even with all of my problems I can still clear snow off a side walk easily enough for those who can't. It helps me help others and reminds me I have things in my life to be happy about and be grateful for.

That's how I try to stay positive.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I have found that removing all the negativity from my life has done wonders for my emotional health. This includes avoiding threads started by people who seems to focus only on the negativity in their lives.

Job sucks? Parents yelling? Loud chewing? No friends?

I know these are real issues and, for many, dominant issues as well; but I've stopped trying to lift people up who seem determined to drag me down to their level instead.

And I feel much better for it.

I agree with you. I do stop providing support to people whose complaints have become self-reinforcing. It's not just that it is exhausting for me to participate in these kinds of relationships. It has more to do with finally being able to see that I am not able to help them.

I will also reach out a hand where I can to new people and people going through a hard time, but don't usually complain. We can all help lift each other up.

Bad things still happen in my life, but I don't dwell on them. Focus on the positive.

 

[VictorR]

 

[Outdated]

I somehow learnt all this early on in life, and I suspect a lot of it came from my grandfather but some from my parents as well.

As long as you keep living in the past you have no future.

Holding on to negative emotions like anger and fear harms you far more than it harms anyone else. Holding grudges is pointless and self harming.

To dispel anger I commit random acts of kindness to strangers, just little things like letting people in in traffic or holding a door open for someone with their arms full. Their gratitude restores my mental balance.

Sometimes it really does pay to step back and look at your life and realise all the things you have to be grateful for. That's perhaps a little easier for me than many, I was homeless for 12 years, I know what doing it tough really means.

Avoiding media that's on the dark side is a good tip. What music you listen to, what videos you watch, especially doomscrolling social media, and even what sorts of images you like looking at. All this stuff affects the way you feel, it perpetuates misery and depression. Media corporations know this and milk it for all it's worth, they know that it's a self perpetuating cycle and that the more miserable and depressed people become the more and more they'll seek out content that makes them miserable. (Happy people don't waste days at a time scrolling through media, they go out and live their lives.)

 

[Rachie]

I think with COVID and this was started during COVID it was a challenging time for many of us and things stagnated for many of us not being able to engineer much change in our lives. Some of us did our best to try and manage as best we can. Many lives were affected and some are just beginning to catch up with the reopening of work availability. It was a difficult time for many of us it seemed as especially as people seemed to be coming out of the wood work more more being very affected during the COVID with burn out and other things.

With time moving on. Sometimes in the here and now we have problems and that is understandable and a part of life.

Sometimes when I look back I find myself starting to unpick my life too much and this is often not helpful to me. Sometimes we may need to look back and for therapy it may be needed to. I always avoided therapy that caused me to look back and opted one that was in the here and now. I also need to live in the present and looking back too much and taking apart my life doesn't cause me to do that and doesn't work for me.

I need to focus more on my strengths, positives and abilities in my life.

Some things in my life have been challenging but I haven't been hard done by and for me I don't want to put that impression across as it is not the case at all.

You can start believing the negative if you look at it too much and looking at your weaknesses can almost topple you. Therefore, I need to look at the positives. I am 51 and no longer 21 and there is a time in a life for a bit of rest and feet up and living your life and not examining it so much.

 

[Mono]

I always try to be at my best in traffic. I remember one time (all by car) when I let someone pass (where that was allowed) and then that someone let the next person pass, and that person the next. It was limited to those people. But that put a smile on my fave and made my whole day, felt good.