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The Power of a Positive Attitude is real

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Rocco, Aug 12, 2020.

  1. Rocco

    Rocco Wandering Trainwreck V.I.P Member

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    The Power of a Positive Attitude is a real thing. I struggled through over 30 years with a negative perspective. I had a Negative outlook, cycling negative thoughts and memories, constantly assumed negative intentions in other folks, I was a literal bundle of negative energy.

    No amount of self help effort or talking to other people could quite break that negative thought and feeling process. Halfway through my 38th year of life I chose to just stop the drama. I convinced myself that the world is not against me nor is it out to get me. I realized life is what you make it and that you do get back what you put into your experiences. I started listening to positive affirmation subliminal videos because I don’t like reading, speaking, nor hearing positive affirmations and I am honestly too lazy to make the effort beyond starting a video in the background.

    Using the “Baby Steps” concept from the movie What about Bob? I was able to focus on one tiny detail at a time. For example, recognizing other drivers are not intentionally provoking me, there is no need to rush, things have a way of working themselves out over time, the horrible things I imagine will happen never quite actually manifest, Smile at everyone, drive nicer, speak kinder to other, use good manners, I stopped assuming negative intentions, I avoided the news and any social media, I started watching more wholesome movies and avoiding violence and anger in media like movies and music. Every day I challenge myself to one more positive act or thought, then another and another until it becomes second nature.

    I listen to a lot of mellow and pleasant music, slow paced; classical, indie rock, classic rock, reggae.
    I Look for the silver lining in every situation and try to find something positive to focus on, in any difficulty. Even a basic setback or confrontation Is an opportunity to master self control or to find a benefit.

    For examples; stuck in traffic? When it’s safe look at bumper stickers or out of state plates, look at trees or flowers or cracks in walls.
    make a mistake? Learn from it and move on, don’t dwell on the negative aspect, instead grasp the opportunity to learn what not to do in the future.
    Encounter and angry person or tense situation? Focus on yourself and maintaining your cool or self control. Do not all others to control how you feel, your mind is powerful enough to overcome nearly any adversity if you apply your self.

    I learned to recognize indicators of my feelings because I usually don’t immediately understand my feelings. Ques like a racing heart, growing frustration, impatience, sadness, depression, excitement; all these things now trigger an immediate introspective look at myself and what I am doing in that moment.

    I recognize the my feelings are important and vital, as are my emotions, yet there is a time and place for everything and the way I feel is NOT always important in every situation and does Not Always need to be expressed. This part is a lot trickier because figuring out exactly when and when not to express oneself is not black and white, instead it’s a large grey area.

    The greatest thing I have done for my health recently was having food allergy and environmental allergy testing done. I learned I am allergic to a lot of foods I have eaten most of my life. I immediately stopped eating many favorite vegetables and meats, and stopped eating everything on my allergy list. This has had a tremendous impact on my daily living, emotions, energy, interactions with others, attitudes, and sleep patterns. I had no idea it was even possible to be allergic to things like rice, grapes, onions, broccoli, all furry animals, watermelon, banana, spinach, cucumber, most fish, pork! The loss of bacon and sausage was emotional.

    It is still hard to explain all the positive changes and things that keep happening to me, but 8+ months the into this effort have radically altered my life for the better. I feel happier and healthier. I am more confident and composed than ever, social interactions have dramatically improved, dating is more fun and successful, and other people have pointed out and noticed the differences and positive changes in my life.

    Anyhow, as if being on spectrum wasn’t unique enough, having some odd food and environmental allergies, and other various qualities I decided F-it! I am like a unicorn, rare and special, and I can rejoice in that I am not like most people. I take comfort in that

    In conclusion, get some allergy tests done if you can afford it. Thomas Hall and Minds In Unison on Youtube host FREE positive affirmation subliminal videos and details on each video clearly state the phrases used. BE POSITIVE. THINK POSITIVE. Do at least one of these conclusion suggestions and your life WILL IMPROVE.

    Peace, Love, and Happy Thoughts to all.

    ❤️☮️

    Best Wishes,
    Rocco
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2020
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  2. menander

    menander Well-Known Member It's My Birthday!

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    With all due respect, it never helped me. Hope has been an evil force, promising relief that never comes. I tried to think positive and pray and all that------FAIL
     
  3. Rocco

    Rocco Wandering Trainwreck V.I.P Member

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    what are you saying never helped you?
     
  4. Daydreamer

    Daydreamer Scatterbrained Creative

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    Although I mostly agree with your sentiment, I would issue caution. I think that there are two main types of positivity; helpful and toxic. When you're stuck in a negative mindset, it can seem impossible to escape. I know that when people told me to just be positive, I didn't think I could. People told me to smile and be happy. I thought that the closest I could do was merely act happy and I was under the impression that everyone did that. My belief was that no one was truly happy and that everyone just acted that way to function in society.

    I learnt to hide my problems because I didn't want to be a burden, that I should just solve them all on my own. That it was bad to show sadness and that I was somehow a failure for not maintaining positive attitude. I remember seeing a post somewhere that said something along the lines of "the answer to pessimism isn't optimism, it's comfort" and I think about that a lot. Being told to just be happy isn't particularly helpful when someone is hurting. They might just think that they've failed because they can't seem to be happy. Since they're not sure how to do that. Especially in a rough situation.

    Admittedly, I got so caught up in presenting as happy that I neglected finding it. I remember making a thread on another forum years ago where I asked for advice on how to do a better job at acting happy. Then, a member asked me two very important questions- Why are you acting that way instead of being? What's stopping you from actually being happy?

    I'd never really thought about it before. Happiness just never seemed like a real possibility. My depression had dragged me down so far that I'd lost perspective. There will likely be times in a person's life where maintaining a positive outlook just isn't possible and is in fact unhealthy to try to force. It's important to note that positivity / optimism should never be about ignoring the negative. Since when you actively try to ignore it, things can start to spiral. Having negative emotions and thoughts is not a flaw in itself. Unfortunately, there are people out there who try to peddle that toxic kind of positivity. The type that tries to blame people for not being positive enough. Which of course makes the person feel worse ..."Wow, I'm so hopeless, I can't even get being happy right!"

    Personally, I think that the healthiest way to be, for your mental health, is to acknowledge that there is good and bad in the world. To allow a part of yourself to be negative, but allow the other to be positive. You don't have to be optimistic about the future, it's enough to simply be curious about what's next. Happiness is often simply a temporary state of being, much like sadness is. It shouldn't be an end goal. One of my favourite sayings is "Prepare for the worst, hope for the best". An acknowledgement that sometimes things don't go to plan but we can still make the most of it and bounce back. We also have to acknowledge that there are events that we simply can't prepare for. That there are too many variables in the world and that you'd likely lose your mind if you ever tried. Life always contains an element of risk. It's terrifying and fascinating.

    Anyway, apologies for length. I got carried away there. Disclaimer: I'm not a psychologist by any means so take what I write with that in mind. I may have missed the point of this, but hopefully this post is a useful addition to this thread.
     
  5. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Gay and autistic midlife weeb.

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    In my current experience, I am learning that life is fluid, and just because life sucked for me in the past, that does not mean that life is to suck for me today.

    I have obsessive tape loops in my head that like to remind me of past trauma and marginalization. I just have to keep telling myself one simple sentence. Thank God that chapter of my life is over.

    And I also am learning that there is a lot to be grateful for in my life these days. If one has a roof over his head, clothes on his back and food on his table, and if one is able to go wherever he pleases within reason, that means he has more to be grateful for than too many other people on the planet. Not saying this to be minimizing, but getting outside of one’s own head is often necessary when pessimism becomes pervasive.
     
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