"The Dreaded G-Word: When Your Child is Asynchronous"

[IContainMultitudes]

Not directly about children on the autism spectrum, but I think most of this would probably apply to them as well:

http://geekmom.com/2015/11/the-dreaded-g-word-when-your-child-is-asynchronous/

I think even adults on the spectrum can be "many ages at once" in a similar way, that's what I feel like at time (about the mentally "youngest" I get is more like a teenager than a young child though).

 

[ChurchTheArtist]

I read the article and am interested in talking about it. Where did you want to go with this thread though? There's no question or direct subject.

I for one have a lot of experience in that dreaded G word. As far as the article states, the subject is "where do we find friends for these gifted kids?" and a good answer is to start on forums like this. You may find them here if you ask.

Where did you want to go with this? Did you want to discuss tactics on socializing a person who stands out from the rest?

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

I think a lot of asd people are high intelligence, so yup. Many of my friends if they're not autistic they're geniuses.

 

[ChurchTheArtist]

I have seen the opposite of that though that we must remember. I met a mom who's son had aspergers and she was upset because everyone expected the kid to be a genius, a savant. She told me that it was frustrating because not all kids with aspergers are savants, but that is the kind of publicity that gets popular. She told me that people put undue pressure and expectations on her little boy and family because we seldom give notice to the kids who aren't geniuses.

I try to remember the sad and frantic look on the distraught mother's face. It reminds me that some of our brothers and sisters feel outcasted even in the group of outcasts.

 

[Cosmophylla]

Thanks for the interesting read, IContainMultitudes.

We tend not to use the g-word for our son, simply because of the myths surrounding it... I remember making the mistake of telling another mum that my son, then 4, was reading Roald Dahl's George's Marvellous Medicine independently. She freaked out because her daughter was struggling to remember the alphabet. I explained that just because he was advanced in one way didn't mean he was advanced in every way. She was unconvinced. That then made me feel I had to somehow put my own son down to make her feel better, and I ended up telling her how my son wouldn't/couldn't draw at all. It's true that his fine motor skills, writing, drawing, creative activities, are behind his age peers, but I didn't like talking him down to someone else. So I learnt to just keep it to myself.

We now think he is likely on the spectrum as well.

Interestingly, he socialises with boys who are at least a year older.

 

[Cosmophylla]

Also, the word portcullis is used in children's author and illustrator Jan Pienkowski's Meg's Castle. I don't think it's so remarkable to know that word if it's in a picture book.

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

Thanks for the interesting read, IContainMultitudes.

We tend not to use the g-word for our son, simply because of the myths surrounding it... I remember making the mistake of telling another mum that my son, then 4, was reading Roald Dahl's George's Marvellous Medicine independently. She freaked out because her daughter was struggling to remember the alphabet. I explained that just because he was advanced in one way didn't mean he was advanced in every way. She was unconvinced. That then made me feel I had to somehow put my own son down to make her feel better, and I ended up telling her how my son wouldn't/couldn't draw at all. It's true that his fine motor skills, writing, drawing, creative activities, are behind his age peers, but I didn't like talking him down to someone else. So I learnt to just keep it to myself.

We now think he is likely on the spectrum as well.

Interestingly, he socialises with boys who are at least a year older.

My childhood in a nutshell

 

[Crossbreed]

"Giftedness" can be just as isolating as Aspergers (and those two conditions have very much in common). "Giftedness" (without an ASD) can even be thought of as another manifestation of neurodiversity (being uncommonly lucid).

Withholding knowledge of your child's giftedness is as much a disservice as withholding recognition of Aspergers. Both will ever feel out-of-step with their peers (and society at large) and not be able to account for it. Knowing the nature of their differences, up front, will help them to develop coping skills and help them consider those differences more objectively and less self-critically. (My only caution would be to not tell them their actual IQ scores, particularly if they are very young or have poor self-esteem.)

For my childhood, I attributed my sense of isolation exclusively to my giftedness. (I wasn't diagnosed with Aspergers until I was 45.)

Also, regarding raising gifted children: the apple usually doesn't fall very far from the tree...!