THE CLOSING DOWN OF THREADS

[Tom]

I don't think they automatically close down threads whenever a problem arises. Sometimes just the problematic posts are removed. I would guess it depends upon if the thread subject itself is part of the problem.

I will add, if you want to be able to say and talk about whatever you want come what may, there are forums, even ASD ones, that better cater to that format.

But not everyone likes or wants that, and if you want to maintain a friendly non-agressive atmosphere, it is going to cost something.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I'm back after having some beauty rest.

Maybe what I'm saying isn't being understood. The subject about police that Penguin started wasn't top on my list and I stated this in my first post on the thread by saying it was a sensitive topic. By saying that, a "sensitive" flag should have been put up. There are plenty of topics going on right now in which I am not a fan of with some having "sensitive" signs. What stops those threads from being shut down? Take the religious thread. There have been quite a few arguments within that thread and it has stayed open and even went to a "featured" thread.

I'm not understanding those that don't want to keep all threads open. Maybe you might understand if you went to the trouble of making a thread that was something you felt strongly about and having it shut down just because someone chooses to join the discussion and is unable to have a healthy debate like any adult should. I for one am extremely happy the religious thread continues. Maybe someone has actually been helped from it.

Just because Penguins thread is shut down, it's still there for all to see - even to those who thought it was offensive. Except that now, no one has the chance to say what they want to say, good or bad. If it's that offensive, if any of the closed threads are that offensive, then they should be totally removed and not left there to be seen. Wiped clean. I don't believe that the ability to ban people from threads is being utilized as it should. Instead, everyone is being punished and made to be quiet.

Another thing, I don't appreciate having that I'm an "NT" thrown in my face every time I say something that someone doesn't like.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Just because Penguins thread is shut down, it's still there for all to see - even to those who thought it was offensive. Except that now, no one has the chance to say what they want to say, good or bad. If it's that offensive, if any of the closed threads are that offensive, then they should be totally removed and not left there to be seen. Wiped clean. I don't believe that the ability to ban people from threads is being utilized as it should. Instead, everyone is being punished and made to be quiet.

I would like to add, without making a statement about whether the thread should or should not have been closed down, that I think it was closed not just because of the posts that were there, but in anticipation of future worse posts.
Personally, I think that banning specific members is more drastic in a way, as they are being singled out, and may find it personally hurtful.

Another thing, I don't appreciate having that I'm an "NT" thrown in my face every time I say something that someone doesn't like.

You're correct that someone's being NT isn't something that should be spoken of in a manner that implies it is something that could be held against them.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Personally, I think that banning specific members is more drastic in a way, as they are being singled out, and may find it personally hurtful

But if that person is told that they are close to being banned and still continue, then they should be banned from that thread. Hurtful or not, they would make the decision to continue knowing they might get banned.

 

[Harrison]

I'm home from work, so I should reply as I closed the thread.

Why, you may ask, would I close it?

Well there are very good answers in the previous posts, but let me state why.

Penguins stance is that ALL police officers are racially motivated, I find that personally offensive, however, in my eyes it breaks this rule...

3. Racial, gender (sexist) and religious hatred/discrimination will not be tolerated.

I take that literally, this forum has the rules it does for a good reason.

As was said, the site is not a democracy, it is controlled by one man, Brent, with people like us to enforce his view of how the site should manifest.

If I have wrongly shut down a thread I shall expect to hear it from Brent.

Let me put this to you.

Given the majority here choose anonymity, how many do you think are police officers, or were?
Do you think they would enjoy being referred to as racists here at AC?

Take the post earlier on about referring to NTs constantly, if you think it's ok to make derogatory statements about ALL police then it should be ok to engender that against anyone. Yet, we hear a complaint.

The only reason this is being debated is because no police officer has stepped forward to say they are offended by the comments.

As Aspies, we patently do not tolerate the world broad brushing us, or disparaging us, when we do that very thing to others we are no better.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

ALL police officers are racially motivated

I also have a problem with that statement. As you can see from one of my posts, I stated that there are good policemen and they shouldn't be put under one group. That post should be eliminated and Penguin told of the reasons. The thread itself should be left open.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I also have a problem with that statement. As you can see from one of my posts, I stated that there are good policemen and they shouldn't be put under one group. That post should be eliminated and Penguin told of the reasons. The thread itself should be left open.

In stating that we shouldn't say that all policemen are racially prejudiced, Harrison wasn't implying that you had yourself said that about policemen, but was rather giving the reasons that the thread itself was problematic.

 

[Harrison]

I also have a problem with that statement. As you can see from one of my posts, I stated that there are good policemen and they shouldn't be put under one group. That post should be eliminated and Penguin told of the reasons. The thread itself should be left open.

I'm not asking you to validate something you said, I am simply telling everyone why I closed it. The fact you wish to continue debating it is immaterial.

Stamping your feet doesn't make it right.

 

[The Penguin]

I advise let Brent make the final call. We can't do much else till then.

 

[SignOfLazarus]

I'm not understanding those that don't want to keep all threads open. Maybe you might understand if you went to the trouble of making a thread that was something you felt strongly about and having it shut down just because someone chooses to join the discussion and is unable to have a healthy debate like any adult should.

Here's my problem with your inquiry and the current discussion going on in this thread right now and why I am now becoming frustrated with your response, specifically. Not with you, and not angry, but frustrated with your response.

I took the time to explain specifically, addressing particularly points of your proposal, why I personally didn't think it was a good idea to keep all threads open. I also explained from past experience- that is QUITE relevant to the situation, and not some temporary "two bit"experience either- exactly why it doesn't work in the long run, how it can be damaging to a community, how, despite intention, people just don't tend to work that way and how it can be very difficult to be self regulating even if most of the time they are.

You refute that, and that's fine- it's how a debate works. However, you refute it simply by stating you "don't understand". What do you not understand specifically about what any of the individuals have taken the time out to explain to you?

You speak of adults having a healthy debate, yet you are refusing to appropriately address the opposing argument right here, in this debate because you seem very passionately invested. That is precisely what I mean about people being "human" and having difficulty sefl regulating all the time. It's not a weakness, it is simply human. People do not just run amok in an anarchist society. There are laws because humans do not self regulate. We have moderators because we do not self regulate and read each others minds.

If you did not honestly want to know and/or understand other individuals' opinions on this matter it is extraordinarily frustrating to me, personally, that I revealed to everyone on the board that I was an admin before- which I ONLY did for your benefit to explain my point of view. So, I did that because I believe in how this board if being run and I also think it is essential that you see the value in it, but it seems that you may just intent on not understanding. That is frustrating because I took that risk for nothing.

If you are part of a community you work toward it functioning well- sometimes that means you don't get everything you want. If it's a privately run community, that's definitely going to happen.

You can try to understand it and appreciate the awesome that this place is or just be angry and frustrated. This place is a great little corner of the internet and it's a special rarity.

To be clear, I obviously don't speak for any of the staff hear- but I understood that the original post was asking for opinions. I'm pretty sure we all stated them and offered explanations. Confused why specifically they are not understood.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I'm going to avoid being involved in threads with Mr Person because instead of feeling like we have the option to work it out OR start over again if it starts to get dicey [moderators will just close the thread]- I will be worried I just get shut out.

How are you going to get things worked out if the thread is shut down?

 

[SignOfLazarus]

How are you going to get things worked out if the thread is shut down?

I'm going to avoid being involved in threads with Mr Person because instead of feeling like we have the option to work it out OR start over again if it starts to get dicey [moderators will just close the thread]-

...as I stated in my first post, it is not generally helpful to continuously delete every closed thread, either. Then no one learns in the process. If threads are closed but we have the option to see what didn't work, we can try again with a new discussion. As was pointed out in this discussion- there are times when it is the direction and tone of a specific thread and not necessarily the topic that might indicate the need to start over.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

You know now I'm the one getting frustrated. Close a thread and start over? Why do something a second time if you can't get it right the first time? This wasn't even my own thread. I was just holding up for Penguin's rights (and everyone else's) to be able to voice their opinion without being punished for it. A few tweaks of the thread and it could have remained open. I'm tired of discussing it myself if you can't see the point I'm trying to make. Go ahead and shut down the thread. This thread should have been shut down too, after some of the things that were said. And then where does it stop?

 

[SignOfLazarus]

You know now I'm the one getting frustrated. Close a thread and start over? Why do something a second time if you can't get it right the first time? This wasn't even my own thread. I was just holding up for Penguin's rights (and everyone else's) to be able to voice their opinion without being punished for it. A few tweaks of the thread and it could have remained open. I'm tired of discussing it myself if you can't see the point I'm trying to make. Go ahead and shut down the thread. This thread should have been shut down too, after some of the things that were said. And then where does it stop?

It's perfectly understandable that you are frustrated. It happens all the time. To everyone, everywhere, and it's perfectly reasonable to voice that frustration. Im' not sure exactly why it is unreasonable to try a clean slate. It's kind of like taking a break from a conversation- which is a technique I use if I feel like I'm getting overwhelmed. Actually a lot of people on the spectrum use this technique. They walk away for a bit. They pick it up later, even start over completely.

I don't know if you asked Penguin if it was necessary to stand up for them or if they asked you to stand up for them. I absolutely see the point you are trying to make.

I do not agree. Others do not agree.
You asked what others thoughts were.
Most, though not all, do not agree. That doesn't mean we can't be friends- it does mean that we can all see each others' points but not agree. I don't really understand why it is seen as a punishment to try to start over. it makes sense to try something new if the first time doesn't work.

If I don't like something, that doesn't mean it doesn't make sense.

I actually didn't even see whatever thread was in question. I am making my opinion known on principle ONLY. And that is, I thought, what your post was about- policy, practice, principle. Not about what one oor two or three people want to discuss. So if you look at that picture, what works for everyone, it may make more sense.

This has actually been a fair discussion, other than a call for it to be shut down.
I mean I'm extremely confused by your first post compared to your following ones.

If you ask for opinions, you are going to get them. if you then reject any that you don't agree with out right as nonsensical or unfair, people are going to be upset. I do not reject your opinion, I just don't agree with it.
My opinion [and others'] is rejected as nonsense, basically, because you don't agree.

Upset now.
Disengaging. Figure it out, grumpy cat.

 

[Tia Maria]

For some Aspies, aggressive arguments are like alcohol to alcoholics. Encouraging such an environment so easily found elsewhere amounts to a form of enabling. I like to think of this is a place as one of understanding and healing. Something some NTs may simply not be capable of grasping. Please don't take this away from us.

Maybe I am an Aspie after all. I don't actually like arguing or debating, but I need to purposefully avoid it the same as an alcoholic avoids that first sip. My family always observed a rule at all holidays & family gatherings, as much as a few people tried to breech the barricade my sweetest Aunt would always remind of the rule & shut it right down. No religion or politics, period. No use spoiling an otherwise wonderful get together with a gigantic fight! lol

Same as on AC. No use spoiling a wonderful environment with some inevitable harsh words & bad feelings.

Sometimes you have to care enough to agree to disagree. Grumpy Cat I know you can do that & you may be also able to maintain your civility when discussing topics where the participants hold strong & divergent opinions. Too many people though cannot & that does lead to a toxicity which most members here go far out of their way to avoid. IMO that's part of what makes AC very special.

 

[Tia Maria]

PS - I am a FREE SPEECH advocate 100%. However, this site belongs to someone (possibly Brent?) & is managed according to his or whoever's policies ... thus the site can implement whatever policy it desires & if members are not happy with the policies or how they are enforced they can choose to not participate. In other words, the staff & mods have the right to determine what will be permitted or not, period.

Of course they seek to create a place that meets the needs of its members, & seem very reasonable vs. dictatorial, & open to suggestions & requests.

To me the AC site seems to be a "kinder, gentler" forum than most & I think that's a good thing.

I was not aware of how isolated some people on the spectrum feel, nor how some have been bullied during their youth, &/or suffered under terrible parenting, or worse yet, abusive & dysfunctional parents.

Life is hard, for everyone, & more so for some. Most Aspies have shared that they do not feel as comfortable with in person communication, & many find it extremely difficult. Meanwhile typing is a much more compatible format for them. So that makes online forums an especially important venue, but the online world is especially brutal & nasty.

So this site is like a refuge, an online sanctuary, where members can be accepted & receive support without judgment & thankfully without attack. I do think there are times another perspective should be mentioned to give members something to consider & possibly learn from ... not to criticize but to help them better (hopefully more successfully) navigate the "world" & even understand the WHY behind certain things which may be far different from their assumption. But all that can or should be done within a civil & friendly, even caring environment & tone. Not debating or arguing who is right or wrong, & not getting on each other's "nerves" to the point where bad feelings are created between different members. Not everyone will agree on every topic & that should be okay, but too often & too easily strong differing opinions debated endlessly result in people being "turned off" & left with bitterness. Some younger members express that they are already dealing with bitterness towards people in the lives. IMO there is no positive benefit in risking that outcome here.

That said Grumpy Cat, I don't think anyone is trying or hoping to upset or frustrate you. (And certainly not me!) I haven't even read all of Penguin's original thread nor all the comments here. I just held this opinion already about the policy, & pre-existing concerns for the AC site to NOT become like all the others.

 

[The Penguin]

However, this site belongs to someone (possibly Brent?)

This site is run by Whipp Media and Brent is one of the IT staff that maintain this site and maybe other sites for Whipp Media

 

[Tia Maria]

I didn't felt my post was getting out of hand yet. Despite I didn't agree with Sylar , I was nice enough to answer his question on how to tag people in a post. So I didn't cut him off entirely. Even though I might not agree with some people, if they want help, I will help them out such as this example.

I love how Penguin always expresses his feelings or opinion on whatever subject or matter, in a personal & non attacking way, & if someone disagrees with him he will simply say, "Okay, but I don't wish to discuss this any further with you". I see it as his way of acknowledging the other person's comments while noting that he still has his own differing opinion or feelings, & also has no desire to debate or have either person become upset or uncomfortable. He always remains civil & as he pointed out, he always helps fellow members whenever he can & never treats anyone poorly or differently regardless of how different their outlook or opinions may be from his. I have noticed this repeatedly & both like, & hold him in high regard for this (among other reasons) ... including that he is, well, a chilly Penguin with a kind disposition & a dry sense of humor.

 

[The Penguin]

I love how Penguin always expresses his feelings or opinion on whatever subject or matter, in a personal & non attacking way, & if someone disagrees with him he will simply say, Okay, but I don't wish to discuss this any further with you". I see it as his way of acknowledging the other person's comments while noting that he still has his own differing opinion or feelings, & also has no desire to debate or have either person become upset or uncomfortable. He always remains civil & as he pointed out, he always helps fellow members whenever he can & never treats anyone poorly or differently regardless of how different their outlook or opinions may be from his. I have noticed this repeatedly & both like, & hold him in high regard for this (among other reasons) ... including that he is, well, a chilly Penguin with a kind disposition & a dry sense of humor.

You helped me get the wording out. The thread never did got out of hand. No one was attacked in that thread. I wish everyone on this site can understand this and reopen the thread.

As there was some confusion with some people. I have nothing against white people. I just hate cops in general and they come in all races, not just white. My example in my post was racial discrimination. However, other members wrote comments that are not racial related that they had issues with the cops. That why part of the title was discrimination. The original title never had the wording race. I put a lot of thought before I wrote that posts. I was happy when a staff member want to improve the title. It sad to see my thread being locked when many people make a great contribution for that thread.

 

[The Penguin]

I see there a conflict with SignOfLazarus and Grumpy Cat . I don't want any conflict for this thread just because my thread got locked.

Grumpy Cat been a member for a long time and many members like her.

SignOfLazarus is a new member but many members like her too.

Don't ruin things on AC just because of me.