The anti-résumé: name a weird task or skill your ASD could grant you

[Gracey]

 

[Fitzo]

Unrelenting self analizer
Unrelenting everyone else analizer
Obsessional conversation replayer
Obsessional upcoming conversation rehearser
World champion 'foot in mouth' competition winner
World champion 'making friends then losing friends' competition winner

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

World champion 'foot in mouth' competition winner

Another disappointment is never managing to win this crown.

You remain unbeatable

 

[Streetwise]

Another disappointment is never managing to win this crown.

You remain unbeatable

No its got to be me ive had foot in mouth crown three years running

 

[wight]

aww, by the time I got to this thread everyone had said all my stuff that would be funny. The only one I have left is
- Bureaucracy expert

and that's not funny at all.

 

[Streetwise]

being confused by the spelling of american english world champion
being confused world champion

I came across a "pointless data broker" in a post (courtesy of @Full Steam), and that's inspired me to write a crazy résumé (or CV for our non-US based friends), in the vein of things I would write if I were brutally honest about my quirkiest abilities.

My lifetime experience as an Aspie makes me an expert:
- Unilateral sarcasm wielder
- Eyecontact avoider
- Messy organizer
- Potato chips flavor taste-tester
- Electric plug audio-controller
- Overthinker
- Lie & other bull crap outcaller

What would you put, if your traits were jobs or skills?

 

[Riley]

• Brutually honest
• Highly moral (In certain regards)
• Highly knowledgeable on nerdy facts
• Excellent, almost superhuman hearing

 

[Katleya]

I think the Nobel Chemistry Prize has been playing our game as well.
Prof. Jacques Dubochet - Honorary Professor of biophysics
A few examples (I did not provide the sometimes very literal translation from French):
1941 - Conceived by optimistic parents
1946 - No longer scared of the dark, because the sun comes back; it was Copernicus who explained this.
1955 - First official dyslexic in the canton of Vaud - this permitted being bad at everything ... and to understand those with difficulties.

I really like that a scientist who has reached this level in his field still doesn't take himself too seriously.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I think the Nobel Chemistry Prize has been playing our game as well.
Prof. Jacques Dubochet - Honorary Professor of biophysics
A few examples (I did not provide the sometimes very literal translation from French):
1941 - Conceived by optimistic parents
1946 - No longer scared of the dark, because the sun comes back; it was Copernicus who explained this.
1955 - First official dyslexic in the canton of Vaud - this permitted being bad at everything ... and to understand those with difficulties.

I really like that a scientist who has reached this level in his field still doesn't take himself too seriously.

He's also ahead of the curve. I was afraid of the dark until 1974

 

[Katleya]

He's also ahead of the curve. I was afraid of the dark until 1974

But it might depend on the year you were born...
You want ahead of the curve?
I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm afraid of the semi-dark: if I can see my hand in the darkness of the room, the monsters can see me. If I can't see my hand, then it's all good.

Which brings me to another skill:
Likely higher chances of survival due to extreme worrying and constant hypervigilance.

 

[bails0bub]

Capable of unintentionally ignoring all people around

Easily forced/manipulated into doing things no one would willingly do.

Able to spew useless information about movies.

Adept at arguing people around in circular logic untill they get mad and end the conversation so I can walk away.

Master of missreading all social engagements.

Emporer of the forever alone club

 

[Katleya]

I forgot to add Identifier of obscure musical samples