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Substance misuse

Aspergers_Aspie

Well-Known Member
I am seeking help when covid restrictions allow for Drinking too much. At a substance misuse centre. I say when restrictions allow as U want to in person rather than phone and go with a support worker. I don't have any gambling, smoking or drug issues, just drinking. I am worried about my health. I don't know why I feel like this this but I don't want to tell my GP and the centre says this is okay.
I feel annoyed and sad when people are rude or act stupidly that is a big reason why I drink. Also to a lesser extent sometimes I don't know what to say or when to say it in social situations.
I try to get a balance of not having a go at people, I'm not perfect but being aware of stupidness and rudeness.
I feel stressed about having to be a certain way instead the of being who I really am as some people don't accept me or mock me, that's bullying for example that sadly occurs in school or the workplace for example.
I find it hard not to dwell on a regret or an instance of someone being rude.
I asked a support worker who I know well, since 2010 if he thought a lot of people would rather not tell their GP, he said he thought most people would tell their GP.
 
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Try AA. It is not my 12-step program (I am in SAA instead), but I am a firm believer in the 12-step process of breaking out of an addiction. There is no shame in admitting that you have a problem with drinking, you are far from alone with that problem and being around others who are breaking out of it couldn't hurt.

If you find it hard not to dwell on a regret or an instance of somebody being rude, that is a tougher nut to crack than quitting drinking, I will admit. Focusing on what needs to be done today, in the present, on what is right in front of us, is something MOST humans struggle with to some degree, and most people love to dwell on other people's rudeness as it gives them an excuse to NOT work on what needs to be done in the present. I am saying this in part to remind myself since I struggle with that every single friggin' day.
 
I wish I could be hypnotised. I don't get how as a kid I eat nearly a whole jar of chocolate spread now I can't eat it but when I've been sick or vomitting from booze in time I've drank again.
 
This on its own isn't persuading me to drink but I dwell on things like this. I was eating outside at a restaurant, the waitress comes out I think to give me something like cutlery and I looked as if I was going to say or ask something I think (she was going to another customer) I didn't explain and I thought really quickly of something to say and I said I haven't paid yet and said I can pay now or at the end. It seems fine but I don't want her to have potentially thought I hesitated slightly before offering to pay the bill.
 
If I hear some people say look at him he's very happy or words to that effect, rather than that I would admire or be envious of the person, or if I hear people tempting some other people to go to the pub rather than say finish gardening or DIY for example that would make me feel negative, everyone is different
 
You seem to have good insight into what happens for you, that's a really good start. And to me you sound anxious. Like worrying about what the waitress may have been thinking, when we can never know. I hope the clinic will be useful.
 
In around 2004, I was sadly knocked off my bicycle by a driver who wasn't adhering to the highway code. I got some stitches and list three front teeth. While waiting to receive a bridge then later a denture, some people tried to mock me and tried to say it was my own fault. It wasn't. They are either stupid or just malicious.
 
First get help with your drinking from professionals who deal with this issue. Second find things that increase your sense of self worth. For me I live my truth. I live my values. It doesn't matter one iota what someone thinks of me because I am being true to myself and am being the person I have chosen to be within my limitations. The only person you have to be better than is who you were yesterday. Third you have choices to make every minute of every day. Make those choices good ones, ones that benefit you. Drinking does not benefit you. Be aware of your choices and be determined to make good ones. You can change your life one choice at a time.
Nasty/stupid people suck but the way to surmount the negativity is to be true to yourself and to survive well. Destroying yourself is just feeding into their negativity about you. I won't give them the satisfaction.
Serenity prayer: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. If you can't change it let it go. Dwelling on it serves no useful purpose. Feelings just are what you do about them is for you to choose.
Decide to live your life your way rather than be a puppet on someone elses string. As the song goes "they can't even run their own lives I'll be damned if they'll run mine."
And lastly don't assume anything. Ever. Especially don't assume that everyone elses life is better than yours.
Make a good life for yourself. Live it your way.
 
In around 2004, I was sadly knocked off my bicycle by a driver who wasn't adhering to the highway code. I got some stitches and list three front teeth. While waiting to receive a bridge then later a denture, some people tried to mock me and tried to say it was my own fault. It wasn't. They are either stupid or just malicious.
Well, there are those who will always say it's the cyclist's fault. Some people hate cyclists as an affront to their perceived right not to have to drive prudently. And there are always those who will say it is your fault just because it is fun to mock victims, especially those who don't have a strong social support structure.

I found as a cyclist that one needs to ride with the expectation that one is invisible and that people drive unpredictably. I've had a few "I was right but the car was a lot bigger." incidents.

You ought not to accept these kinds of unfair criticisms as valid. At the same time, you do need to accept that this kind of thing is inevitable. There will always be such people with us. Be as the duck and let it run off your back like rain runs off the back of a waterfowl.
 
Is this already a long term issue for you or is it recent? Could you replace your go-to alcoholic beverage with a non-alcoholic variation? I recently was drinking a lot due to stress, and since my go-to was spiked seltzer, I swapped them out for non-alcoholic seltzers, and it helped cut my drinking down a lot, since rather than immediately reaching for the white claw, I see the regular seltzer first and reach for that instead. If your experience is more serious than mine, it may not help, but this is all the advice I can offer right now. I hope things get better for you soon :)
 
Those who don't want to be malicious have a clear conscientious though. Even so those who want to be malicious take delight in causing people to be frustrated or provoked.
 
People being rude caused me to be in a bad mood in the autism drop in centre I attended, affecting any possibility of me maybe being in a relationship or just friends with two different women.
People only get one life and those who choose to be wicked or stupid instead of trying to be good and making the most of life have a negative impact on me.
 
The stress caused by those who try and be stupid and wicked even when sober have caused me to lose things, the latest being earlier today. I took my shower bag containing a phone charger, earphones and earphones case out of my bag pack and forgot it. It's not just the monetary value and and inconvenience, it's the unpleasant feeling of having lost something too
 
Bullying, a form of wickedness can take different forms for example trying to provoke, harrass, falsely accuse, try and make someone feel low or angry
 
Bullying, a form of wickedness can take different forms for example trying to provoke, harrass, falsely accuse, try and make someone feel low or angry

That can have a huge impact on your mental state. I hope you find a support group that doesn't demean you, I was lucky in that I wasn't bullied but I know many people who were badly and it never leaves them. They struggle to get through every day and a few of them are very close online friends of mine that I don't mind checking up on every few hours. Alcoholism is a serious thing so most good doctors will try to help you through it if you want to eventually stop drinking sometime in the future, and if one doesn't treat you well due to that I would strongly suggest switching to another. I wouldn't quit all drinks at any time as that can severely mess up your digestive track and would be very cautious even weaning off some. I've never drank and I don't plan to since I'm very lucky that I have other coping mechanisms to help me through my days, but for some that's the easiest way to null severe emotional pain. I hope you'll feel better sometime. That takes a ton of mental strength to get through.
 
A step into the unknown for me potentially coming up, as I have never talked to an organisation before about drinking. I am going to try going myself alone first then seeing if a follow up may be good maybe with a support worker. I know I will be so nervous. A step into the unknown generally I think can be nerve wracking.
 
I think it was the 90s I saw a bit of a TV program where hypnotist Paul McKenna hypnotised someone into believing an onion was an apple. Wish I could be hypnotised not to drink too much and it would be easy. But hey if that worked a lot of people would get hypnotised for addictions and there wouldn't be so many cases of addictions
 

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