Strange habit forming

[Dr. Smart]

I'm 26 and an aspie, I recently noticed at work sometimes I've been answering questions or getting peoples attention by nodding or pointing instead of speaking even when it probably would make more sense to speak verbally, I'm a big talker too so its not like I'm being shy or anxious.

I think it kinda is like when you have ear buds in and you just sort of give people short answers or body language queues so you can keep listening except this happens when I'm not even listening to music or anything, perhaps it's when I'm deep in thought or distracted but I never used to do this before i usually give verbal affirmations...

Idk if this is in any way autism related but thought I'd see if anyone else has this happen to them. I feel like I come off as rude when I do it but I don't realize I'm doing it until after the fact.

 

[Tom]

Ask Doctor Smart!

 

[Dr. Smart]

Ask Doctor Smart!

You realize that's just a username right? I don't have any type of doctrate nor am I extensively more knowledgeable on any given topic than average.

 

[BraidedPony]

I like that new habit of yours because I think it would reduce stress. I tend to give too much information when a gesture or nod is enough! Then I probably come off as too helpful?
I’m going to try the gesture thing next chance I get as an experiment.

 

[Dr. Smart]

I like that new habit of yours because I think it would reduce stress. I tend to give too much information when a gesture or nod is enough! Then I probably come off as too helpful?
I’m going to try the gesture thing next chance I get as an experiment.

Heh didn't think of it like that. I do Talk too much and over explain things but the source of stress for me is usually being misunderstood which is why I end up talking more...

 

[Pats]

I would think it's a way of compensating but I have no idea. When I worked I always tried to stay hidden away somewhere. But I was called on a lot to start iv's that no one had been able to get. I was given the name IV Queen and hated it because I don't know how to handle compliments or praise. I like the pointing things though - but I don't like to talk.

 

[Tom]

You realize that's just a username right? I don't have any type of doctrate nor am I extensively more knowledgeable on any given topic than average.

Too bad.

But anyway, I'm not sure what you mean by nodding, but pointing is likely to not go over well. I do not think it is specifically an autistic gesture. More along the lines of poor communication skills that will likely bite you in the butt.

 

[Dr. Smart]

Too bad.

But anyway, I'm not sure what you mean by nodding, but pointing is likely to not go over well. I do not think it is specifically an autistic gesture. More along the lines of poor communication skills that will likely bite you in the butt.

Well by nod I mean the act of tilting your head upward and then downward as a pretty common western symbol of "yes".

I've not so far had any customers upset with me for pointing them toward what they were looking for or as an indicator they are allowed to pass but I'll keep that in mind.

I was not under the impression that pointing or any other gesture I've been using is exclusive to autism, I think that would make it pretty hard to communicate considering most of my customers are NT...

And I'll admit my communication skills aren't the best but I'm sure if this comes back to bite me I'll be able to smooth things over. Like I said this isn't my norm and I normally help customers vocally. If a customer is having trouble finding the bathroom and I point at the bathroom I can't imagine them being that confused but I'll realize it and speak up.

 

[BraidedPony]

There IS one gesture that should not be used! Lol Too bad because it would be my favorite to use.

 

[pamelaperejil]

That's actually one of my pet peeves. I don't like having to interpret a gesture. But I can relate to not wanting to speak, though.

 

[Dr. Smart]

That's actually one of my pet peeves. I don't like having to interpret a gesture. But I can relate to not wanting to speak, though.

That's my thing is my normal instinct is to start talking instantly, simple greeting followed by an answer to what they are needing with gestures to help indicate things, now it seems like the instinct changed without me meaning it to, I instinctively just do the gestures and keep my mouth shut even though if I were conciously focusing I would speak aloud.

Its ususlly very simple though as long as you know what nodding means and how to follow a pointing finger. If it weren't clear I would go out of instinctive mode and actually think about what I'm saying.

 

[Nervous Rex]

I understand the convenience of a gesture. I will often give a nod, a thumbs up, or a smile in conversation when I don't feel like speaking.

I think I do this simply because it's less mental effort. It often takes me a split-second of intense mental effort to respond to even simple questions, not because I'm non-verbal, but because I'm meticulously verbal. Everything has to be precisely phrased and properly delivered to convey the right meaning and avoid misinterpretation, the wrong impression, further inquiry when undesired, etc.

I sometimes think that my ideal reply to "Hi, how are you?" should be a Windows progress bar.

 

[tducey]

I think pointing may come off as unfriendly but nothing wrong with a nod. Maybe ask your co-workers how they feel about your different gestures.

 

[Dr. Smart]

I think pointing may come off as unfriendly but nothing wrong with a nod. Maybe ask your co-workers how they feel about your different gestures.

... Um how does pointing a customer in the direction of something come off as unfriendly?

 

[Dr. Smart]

Guys the weird part is me being silent for no reason, I'm not saying I start pointing and nodding at random, I was just referencing gestures that most people use to communicate to explain that I end up communicating non verbally.

I nod to say yes, and point to help customers find a door or something if these things were offensive I'd have found out years ago.

My point was the silence was a sudden change, I usually go out of my way to greet and explain things to customers verbally, now suddenly I shut my trap and indicate the answers. I feel like I might come off as rude because I don't talk to them, not because I point.

 

[BraidedPony]

You may be afraid that you are being rude only because you are doing something different. It feels weird/wrong/awkward to try new things, but that doesn’t mean it is.
If someone needed more direction I’m sure you would notice it and respond with words.
We Aspies should trust ourselves more, my opinion.

 

[Tanyax]

I know this isn’t the same thing at all but I have noticed other strange habits forming with me and I’d be interested if anyone else has anything similar. My main one is talking way too much and annoying people but aside from that, I’m going to sound crazy here, but I talk to myself and I love it, I find it therapeutic and helpful, sometimes calming and other tones just a rant but either way, it stops me bothering other people which is good. I don’t hide it from my family, they often ask me who I’m talking to and I say myself. It doesn’t seem to be a problem. I have lately been taking myself off on bike rides and having a real rant which is a little more freaky but as long as no one hears me it’s ok. I don’t want to look like a fruit cake. I’ve always had compulsive and obsessive habits that last for years but then change into something else. Like twiddling my hair (its curly), recently I’ve started drinking obsessive amounts of water! Sometimes they are healthy things, sometimes the opposite. Anyway, lately they’ve been more on the crazy side, other than talking to myself, I click my fingers or tap my fingers oh and I count. To 8, over and over until I feel calmer. It’s stupid. It’s embarrassing to say it but if I can’t say it here then where can I? There all coping mechanisms to try and help me when I’m stressed. And designed to do it on my own do I don’t annoy anyone and face rejection for even asking. Yes. I sound nuts. I know that. I feel like I’m hijacking this thread and I’m sorry if I am. Ive only been here a week and don’t do forums. You’ve been amazing so far. I guess I’m asking you not to judge but see if there are others out there with strange habits or coping mechanisms that are either done in private or otherwise perhaps to help you cope or perhaps just compulsive. Is this a trait of Aspergers to be compulsive like this at all? I just thought I had an addictive personality but now I’m wondering if it’s a part of something else. Btw. I only found out a week ago so please be kind. I’m trying to understand who I am and why I am the way I am and I’m 41!! And I am truly sorry if I hijacked xx

 

[DCA]

I sometimes talk to myself too. I also say specific phrases when I feel anxious (usually coming home from work, reviewing the day, & remembering something embarrassing or what I perceive as embarrassing). If I'm alone I say it out loud, though if I know someone is in earshot I'll whisper it to myself. More often though, I complain to myself...

 

[BraidedPony]

I constantly talk to myself in my mind, not out loud very often, maybe just 2 or 3 times a day. It never occurred to me it wasn’t normal! The brain has to be doing something.

 

[DCA]

I constantly talk to myself in my mind, not out loud very often, maybe just 2 or 3 times a day. It never occurred to me it wasn’t normal! The brain has to be doing something.

While we are on the subject, yes I do this too. CONSTANTLY. One of my main interests is history (specifically European Ancient & Medieval history), so I often recite history in my mind. I thought everyone did stuff like this!